On Being Despised...

Wrote and retracted something, at least temporarily, last night.

In a few minutes more, I'll be leaving for the first day's commute to a two-day employment-related conference. In the heart of Babylon, as all such things go.

So strange, that way.

The Lord has been so good to me. Increasing understanding.

And I'm apparently going through a phase again of asking "why" every few minutes about something I'd never really been aware of before. Not questioning Him, at all, just asking Him questions--wanting to understand how things work and why we do the things we do.

So many strange things going on.

Another rejection, last night. Still praying about whether or not to return there. Prayers will continue. But...yeah. It seems unlikely, to say the least.

Though I'm really, definitely not at a point where "shaking the dust off my feet" is a thing I can quite do. Although, really...it took a lot of anguish and, ultimately, incapacitation for me to get to the point of surrendering all to Christ. If it takes that sort of destruction of the flesh to come to know Him, then really...it's merciful. It's just heart-breaking to consider not returning, not speaking to folks I care about and pray for.

Or, rather, more folks I care about and pray for--difficult to consider being distanced from more such people. It was finally, definitively made clear that any continued interaction with ones from previous affiliations need be left entirely alone.

I'll ask about this most recent, this weekend. Granting I'm able to visit with some friends on Saturday, at least--Lord willing, then.

In the meantime and still after, I'm refraining from asking the Lord "why" about last night's particular situation. Because the pain is what it is--rejection, suspicion, and the like are what they are--and in the midst of them, I know God's reasons for permitting and ordering events as such are utterly good and loving, on all fronts. So that's as much as I need to know, as far as I'm concerned.
Especially when it hurts.