Although God let it be known that those who come to salvation are translated from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light, the actual, effectual difference which comes about is a bit difficult to conceive.
Three and some years ago, when He let me know Him for who He is--Jesus, my Lord and my God, my Savior and Redeemer, my Shepherd and friend--and worked repentance in me, I didn't realize that there was actually, effectively a difference wrought. Rather, one day (or, really, all of my life up to that point) there was resentment of God and despising His sovereignty over me, and the next it was a glorious privilege to revel in the truth of His total authority and complete dominion, in the truth of His power and majesty and perfection of all ways...to revel in His holiness. And I was awestruck to glory in the truth of who He is. The first day of work after being converted, I wrote briefly of and to Him of how wondrous He is and how inconceivable that anyone would ever not be completely awestruck at His being, His wondrous majesty and glorious goodness, and just...of Him. Sovereign God. Creator. Perfect in justice, majesty, power. He to whom belongs all vengeance and righteousness, justice and mercy, truth and glory.
Awareness of the truth of who He is suddenly became the life-spring, the fount of joy. Jesus became utterly precious and worthy all devotion. God became my heart's delight.
But there's no turning toward light which occurs without, even unawares, a departing from darkness. And my life was a pursuit of darkness, prior. I was too inept to excel at it, really, but was continually overwhelmed and devastated by the pursuit--a matter of God's mercy upon me, actually. But my life had been a matter of pursuing God on my terms--pursuing fulfillment according to my understanding of what it ought to comprise--pursuing "happiness" according to all the various ways in which society and the world purports it to be palpable and possible. Poorly done, given my general ineptitude and inconsistencies and falterings...but, nonetheless, pursued. Even as a pursuit of understanding.
There is no wisdom attained apart from a respect for God's ordained order, though--whether knowingly adapted, as such, or not. But given my prior pursuit of understanding unto wisdom according to worldly standards, the whole deal was a wreck. Unto further and further depravity. Darkness unto darkness, even if not delving as deep as some then going painfully far, nonetheless.
And remembering is painful. I erred against the One who gave Himself for me. I despised Him. I turned my nose up at Him, pursuing life on my own terms. Breaking myself and doing harm to those around me, per the course. Even unto further grieving Him.
But it's easy to sometimes look at the working of sin in the flesh, now, and see nothing but wretchedness and depravity, still. It's easy to get wrapped up in grief over my own wretchedness and brokenness and sometimes willfulness unto a despairing of life and of obedience and even of grace. But He is faithful to remind that the work that's been done has been by His hand, by His Spirit, even as through His Word...and that it's not a Word that's gone unto me without effect.
Sometimes He confronts me with who I was as directly juxtaposed against the work He's done, so to return my focus to the truth of who He is and of what His grace effects. There's nothing to glory in, of myself, but being able to more clearly recognize that there are vast differences between the heart and mind now turned toward Him, versus that which was wholly opposed prior--humbles per remembrance of the truth that the work is His.
Except that He made these things evident, though, it wouldn't be possible to discern. Being surrounded by so many opposing forces, within and without, that vie for attention and pursuit...the ability to accurately gauge what is versus what has been is lost in the miasma of time and effect.
But His Word is true. There is a change. Even as was written--the aroma of Christ is sweet to those who are being saved, but reeks of death to those who despise Him--too, is true... We are no longer death's. The light of life has risen in us who are God's, through Christ. Though all the world may despise and attack us, still it cannot overcome Him--the fiery darts of the enemy cannot eradicate the life of God. He gave us life, He sustains us, and He delivers us. According to His will, His perfect wisdom. To His glory.
So whatever comes or goes, we can run or crawl or howsoever hobbled we move along go toward Him. Eyes fixed on Jesus, we go forth, striving after the calling. For it's the author of our faith who perfects it, and He will continue the work in us until it's complete. Whether we can moment-by-moment discern that work or not isn't relevant.
What matters is the desire of our heart. Do we love Him? Do we know Him? Do we treasure His Word in our hearts?...even when despairing of strength to cling, does He bring it again and again to mind and draw us onward thereby and thereunto? Is Jesus our treasure--our God, who took on flesh to ransom us by His own blood and overcame sin and death that we could overcome in and through Him? Is God our joy?
If we love Him, we will obey Him. And His greatest commandment is that we would love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. And the next is like it--that we would love one another, as ourselves. All else springs from, arises out of, and is concentric about these. Founded upon love, arisen out of love.
Out of the heart. He alone knows the heart. And He alone can change it, making flesh out of stone. We must ask Him for this and trust Him for it. He is our only hope, even that He would be our only desire.
There's such a misconception abroad about what love is, though. It's not petulant. It doesn't pander. It's not indulgent. It doesn't speak platitudes with impunity. It isn't blind.
Love sees and hopes. It is rooted in truth, though--not relativistic, but absolute. Without such a foundation, self-gratifying and idolatrous flattery arises. Neither of which is actually kind, but only has a superficial, artificial veneer which modern society equates to kindness. It is not kind to let lies and delusion fester unto self-destruction and societal degradation. That is not kind.
Love isn't self-seeking, so it will bear the brunt of derision and malice for the sake of pleading truth that can deliver from destruction. Rather than fostering or supporting lies that go down sweetly yet poison the system. It isn't kind to blithely watch others destroy themselves. That isn't loving.
Love isn't proud, either, though. Self-seeking isn't a part of it, so pride can neither be. It seeks the good of others--actual good, rather than superficial, oft glibly saccharine pandering which only supplants or excuses destructive delusion.
Love doesn't exist apart from truth, then neither apart from wisdom. So where love is despised, I don't see that the Lord calls us to become puffed up and arrogant. How does He plead with us, even? How does He draw us? How does He lead us? By what manner does His love come? There are blatant moments of abject forthrightness with words which are undeniable, bold, and concisely direct. Just as there are records of numerous parables which relay truth directly to those who desire to know it, who seek. He draws in so many ways.
Yet love doesn't pander. When He gives us over to our sins, it's not a matter of condoning but of allowing us to have those delusions which we would prefer over having truth, over knowing Him. With grief, as even unto wrath. It's not joyous. He doesn't delight in punishing, as humans capriciously tend. He is righteous. His perfect goodness requires justice be done.
So, the choice is before us. Life or death. Truth or lies. Love or pandering.
Christ or death.
We all choose death.
...but gracious God that He is, He offers us life through His own self-sacrifice. He offers life through His own obedience. Life through His own subjugation of sin and death.
And to choose Him is to be translated from the kingdom of darkness into light, to walk in the light of love and humility and sacrifice and truth. Though despised and rejected by the world, thereafter, evermore loved and disciplined as a child by God, Himself.
He is good. And we can rest in the sure knowledge that He will be glorified.
