Apologetics, aka Giving Reason for the Hope that is in You.

Why do you believe what you believe? Are you able to clearly explain the reasons for the hope that is in you? Are you able to enunciate that hope, itself?

The Lord has helped me to be better equipped to do so through study of His Word, time spent in fellowship with Him, time spent in fellowship with other believers, and through the work and ministry of those whom He has equipped to speak on these matters particularly well and clearly: teachers and evangelists. So grateful for this man's ministry, and for the ministry of others likewise whom the Lord has equipped to speak clearly on the wonder of grace and the marvel of God's word, works, and wisdom.

Every time, though, there's prayer. Every conversation there's longing to speak openly yet held in tension with the weight of fear of knowing the possibility of reviling and rejection. And every time He gives grace to submit to Him and ignore the fear, there's gratitude. All the while as He helps to speak well and clearly.

Because without the Lord's active work in directing speech, my own logic is flawed and faltering, constantly. And when He lets me only rely on my own strength, then words are weak and messages mixed.

Prayer is the largest part of this all. Even as is seeking to know Him better, seeking to understand more clearly who and how He is. Seeking to dwell on His word daily, praise Him continually.

If only sin weren't a part of the mix, requiring ongoing repentance and cries for mercy. Despising to do that which is grievous, yet again and again faltering. I trust Him, though. And will trust Him to help me, to deliver me, to give strength and further deliverance.

All the while seeking to know Him better and walk more closely with Him. Jesus is everything. My Savior, and my God. Friend and Master. The only wise God.

So I trust Him. Even seeing greater depths of my own depravity and insufficiency, but all the more to see greater need of Him while turning all the more to rely on Him for every need.

And in the midst of all that, longing for others to also turn more completely toward Him and surrender to Him wholeheartedly. I haven't the wisdom or the strength to plead with them cogently, except that He gives grace to do so. And I haven't the insight of knowledge or understanding to address heartfelt contentions, except that He likewise gives grace and wisdom so to do.

And through lectures like the ones above linked, He's calmed my heart and prepared me for many conversations. All while still the need to depend on Him in the midst of those conversations is prevalent, then still He does use His word and wisdom to direct.

He uses us wherever He places us. And calls us to be prepared for whatever He would have us put our hand to, as laborers in the field.

And this is a joy, too, though--to plead on His behalf, with those who yet refuse Him. This is an honor, even met by reviling.

Present Thoughts on Justice vs. Fairness

Been prayerfully considering the unfairness of Jesus’s crucifixion, especially in regard to God’s ability to hold in perfect tension perfect justice and perfect mercy per that Crux in historical events. Because it is wholly unfair that the most perfect, blameless, loving, kind, wise, and only good man to ever walk the earth should have endured our rejection, persecution, reviling, and torture unto death. Let alone that He would bear the consequences due US all per such a course.

Going further back, though, perhaps illumination begins to arise in remembering that the unfairness did not initiate at His public trial unto execution. Unfairness unto Him began at His being humbled as to come in the flesh. That God would set aside anything of His glory and majesty for any span, humbling Himself, as to walk alongside us...there’s nothing small of unfairness of stance in His having taken the form of a servant. And also in His long-suffering toward us all, still, of and in mercy. He opted to do things which were very unfair to Him.

Fairness and justice aren’t necessarily equatable terms, it has begun to seem.

I heard someone discuss fairness in terms of equality, once, where it regards the demands of children to receive entirely equal treatment from parents. But there’s a big difference between allowing a 16 year old to use a vehicle and permitting same of a 12 year old. Standards of maturity and aptitude prevail when making such distinctions—some of which exist as standards of law, yes.

But the 12 year old could still as easily call it unfair, as a perceived unfairness in treatment that is “ageist.” Doesn’t mean it’s unjust, though. Doesn’t mean there ought to be amendments to law to approach greater “fairness.” But rather such instances evidence the standard of justice doesn’t rest in wholly equal treatment of all parties concerned. Justice to varied extents considers aptitude and comprehension, intent and ability—again, justice is not merely concerned with sameness of apparent treatment of parties. Justice doesn’t necessarily entail equal division of culpability or consequence. But justice appropriates matters rightly, with consideration of all involved factors. We wouldn’t have use for judges of the law, if consideration of events, intent, and ability were exempt from legal considerations.

So why then wouldn’t it be just (though admittedly unfair) for an aggrieved party to opt to endure consequences due the guilty party, so to enact a caveat that those who choose reconciliation would be granted pardon per having their offenses reckoned amongst an infinite debt satisfied per a likewise infinitely valuable propitiation. Seeking reconciliation rather than punishment of the offender. With all who would humble themselves to reckon with their culpability and the actual cost of satisfying the consequences. All who are remorseful and repentant. The Judge has mercy.

God Himself is the aggrieved party. If He has chosen to endure unfairness while enacting justice, as the aggrieved party and the only just judge, He has prevailing prerogative. And He provisioned means for mercy, at His own expense. Willingly enduring. Satisfying our debt, Himself. Jesus endured, for the sake of the joy set before Him.

He alone truly knows justice. We usually opt for seeking perceived fairness, instead. And there has been recent shift toward seeking public acclaim by vociferously decrying perceived unfairness toward any-other-party-than-self. Unless one’s own perceived rights are seen as having been infringed so often as that ongoing victimhood then is also perceived as a justification for being offended. So the idea of someone willingly surrendering their rights for the sake of another and enduring suffering for the sake of another...is that much more incomprehensible and offensive. All the more does it fly in the face of modern ideals of self-righteousness and public crusades for individual equality (without regard to standards of right or wrong, only of perceived entitlements to “fairness”).

This especially is a point of convolution when it comes to the idea of self-righteous crusades for one’s own (or others’ own) “rights.” Because if God, Himself, has humbled Himself for the sake of others rather that seeking His own esteem while walking amongst us, He has entirely put all rebel powers to shame by making apparent that we are wholly unjustified in seeking to exalt our own or others rights as being entitlements. The only one who truly IS entitled to seek His rights amongst us all did not do so, this we are truly relieved of any right to do so apart from submission to His pre-eminent will and sovereign provisions to us all.

Which again flies utterly in the face of modern (not new) ideology. It isn’t just to seek individual rights apart from submission to God. It is not fair to insist upon personal preference, in context of all reality, either.

Musics: (The Verses Project) Psalm 139 (x2), Take My Life

Totally neat: The Verses Project ...help for remembering His word.

Of Consequence, Sin/Transgression, and Constant Mercies

I briefly considered just editing the last post, as goes writing. But then came a thought that if I did so, there's potential that it would just be lost in the mix. Which, ultimately, may or may not signify. Generally speaking, proof-editing does take place after posting. When it does happen. Which is most of the time. And there are usually some significant updates, then, too. Eh.

There are so many things I don't mention here, in the thick of things. When there are particularly dire trials, especially. Out of respect for the severity of circumstances, generally, knowing that it's only by the grace of God that things aren't utterly destroying me both inside and out.

The more recent of things now nearly at resolution is another slight brush with death. Of sorts. Necroticizing spider bite, then a multi-week systemic infection which is just now beginning to truly ebb. And however goes, next: Long and short of circumstances is that my life is in the care of my Lord, Jesus. Which...doesn't mean that I do nothing when these-type things come. But foremost, when they do, there's a solemn remembrance and submission to the reality that God is the one who has given my life and who sustains it, and when time comes, He'll be the one in charge of its end, too. With these recent health-things, circumstances have not been nearly as dire as many other instances. On the Richter scale of life-threatening circumstances, these have kind of registered as worrisome / annoyance-level. But nonetheless have served as reminder of need for His interventions to sustain life. (As a point to note: From my weak-ish Google-Fu at the time, there don't seem to be effective anti-toxins for brown recluse toxin once wounds have actively begun to necroticize. Mostly just bombardment with antibiotics, it seems? The topical antibiotic given me did not help--unless perhaps tissue death would have been more rapid and widespread without it? Not something worth experimenting, personally. The Lord was gracious to allow me to find a page recommending use of activated charcoal poultices+internal, then bentonite clay...used the charcoal poultices two days, a week into the necrosis, and it entirely resolved the necrosis. Coconut oil+lavender oil, topical thenceforth. Wound healing began after the second day of charcoal administered. Hopefully not necessary to know. But FYI. This other health-stuff is unrelated, just unfortunate. Has required submission to the Lord to endure symptoms and also to maintain disciplined eating as not to further the infection. Very grateful to be drawn nearer Him even if the means are of desperation.)

Numerous have been the brushes with death, lifelong--many intentional, but many also not intended. These again and again drive further home the fact of God's sovereignty over life and death, birth and burial. Period. Where there is conception, it's by grace--according both to the wisdom of His designed function, but also requiring that He ordain inception of life. Perhaps more difficult to submit to graciously is His sovereignty over death, though. Especially as there are so many sufferings and so many tragic ends.

I take heart in remembering and reflecting upon His goodness, His lovingkindness, His mercy, and His longsuffering toward us--all of which is evidenced (along with so much else) through His own willing entrance into and submission to the consequences of creation's broken order: God walked on earth, incarnate, and lived without transgressing any of the principles of created order. And yet He still bore the consequences of transgression--of sin--Himself. Yet it was the consequences of our sin He endured--He submitted to the consequences of our erring against the principles of created order--as He hadn't incited any consequences per living always in perfect concord with the principles of created order (foremost, as maintaining perfectly ordered relationship with God, Father).

Jesus endured consequences He hadn't warranted so to submit Himself in our place, bearing our consequence. He was a willing substitute. As making way that we may receive mercy (thus not enduring the full weight of consequence warranted by our transgression of the principles of created order), all while justice remains perfectly intact (having been fulfilled upon our willing Substitute, Christ Himself). He effectively redeemed us, as such, from the brunt of what ought to be coming against us--ensuring that anyone who turns to Him, submits to Him, unites with Him in spirit and truth...then is received into a position of having borne and overcome the very real consequences of our own evils. What He endured on our behalf was just as much a debt as it is a consequence, realistically, given that our transgressions against principled order of created don't exist in a vacuum: Our transgressions are ultimately against God, Himself.

He set order for all things--principles by which all things operate: Laws of nature, as we call a subset of them. And He is a personal Creator, who also sustains His creation actively. He created according to perfect wisdom--from the inconceivably precise laws of nature recognized via theories of quantum physics, to likewise principles of mathematical operation...to the far less broadly accepted principles of spirituality and morality. Point being, everything has a specific, explicitly structured operational order of its very own: distinct principles of operation which are non-arbitrary, and in no way relativistic. Our problem is that just as gravity operates according to consistent principles, so does spiritual and moral reality.

Because this is a problem, yes, when there's a lack of awareness of how these latter such principles (as actually determine the course of a spiritual eternity) are ignored or suspended unto vast ignorance. Being broken and erred against continually--willfully, in truth--through incremental suppression of truth unto an oblivious ignorance of to nature of spiritual workings over the entirety of a lifetime...  ...we each put ourselves in a dire situation, ever having erred against conscience. Which is a guide, though not the only one...toward what constitutes the order of these less easily grasped principled realms.

But...He has consistently revealed the truth of matters to us. We just oft and continually reject Him (same as if someone were to read all this and then try to ignore it, rather than digging into the Bible and researching around it as to determine legitimacy--searching out the end of a matter).

He has consistently revealed Himself to all creation. To incite pursuit of knowledge of right order. To incite reconciliation. Part of which is why He revealed Himself to a specific people, then progressively had them write down His revelations to them. Then, He independently maintained consistency of His message across centuries (as one of the many means of confirming the revelation as God's own--as coming from someone outside time). Over course of which revelation, He told them (and thus us all) that He would come into creation Himself, to redeem a people for Himself. And, then, He did enter creation Himself, and did what we couldn't do--walked without transgressing the principles of reality's order--so as to reconcile us to Himself by enduring consequences due us as a rightful Substitute. And then He overcame those consequences, shattering them under weight of His sovereign love and power. Death included. And, though He has returned to His glory in the spiritual realm, still He and actively engages with us spiritually and through His Word. Still as to draw us to Himself, draw us into restoration and reconciliation of right order.

All despite our (i.e., humanity's) ongoing refusal to submit to right principles of spiritual and moral order.

All as to save us from the consequences which we will endure, unless we come to Jesus Christ, Resurrected Son of God, God incarnate...for mercy. He's the only human who has ever self-resurrected. That says a lot about what God's business means, of this whole matter. Especially given the evidence of the judgement of transgression evidenced in the way He died, too. There is wrath to come. Consequence of transgressing the laws of a perfectly good, sovereign God.

He's made the way, but we have to submit to truth in order to find it. We have to submit to God. To Jesus Christ. Our God. Whether we like it or not.

He's merciful, though. We'd be a lot less well than we are--societally, individually, internationally--if it weren't for His mercifulness toward us all. I know this because of what He's codified as His revealed Word.

His revelation to Isaiah has been especially poignant on that point. He deeply grieved and lamented His people's constant straying, through many of the prophets, yet to Isaiah made especial note that He was going to at that time cease from restraining the consequences of their transgressions. Which is to say, to me and us, that He does actively restrain actual, physical consequences of broken spiritual, moral order on an ongoing basis. This says to me there are real-time physical consequences incited the very moment we transgress spiritual or moral laws. Same as you can't opt to break the law of gravity when stepping off a roof if you choose to suppress knowledge of its existence...not without actually incurring dire consequence. Though He may opt to restrain the severity of said consequence. You might not immediately die, physically. You might not be paralyzed for life. You might not break bones, even. But you will fall, unless He intervenes. And you may immediately perish.

Likewise, there exist real and inherent consequences to acting with any sort of defiance of the laws of spiritual or moral order. But we all err so continually that we're largely blind to what those laws are...thus the Bible, and His Spirit intervene. Are available to intervene.

Anyway, all that just to note that realizing death is also in His hands...isn't so dire a matter, when taken into account alongside recognition that He's actively restraining the warranted, actual consequences of what would otherwise be experienced. Mercy exists and is extended in that Christ has done His word of interceding and still intercedes and intervenes.

When considering this in light of how dire and tragic have been and are many grievous events in the world, there's grief and also a horrified terror upon realizing what has occurred has nonetheless been a largely mitigated realization of what otherwise should have occurred as direct consequence from our active transgression against moral and spiritual order. I would not even want to imagine. And will not allow for it. Given the gravity and horror of the travesties which have come to pass.

At which point it helps to remember that He doesn't delight in any of this all, of consequences. But longs that all would receive mercy.

Yet we refuse.

Please don't refuse. Search out the matter.
Look into who Jesus is. Not was.

He resurrected. Historical accounts attest to this. And, yes truly, the Biblical books are historical accounts. Attested by many things, as such. The Word of God.

Look into it.

Songs, Relevant: Master, The Tempest is Raging; Psalm 130; How Firm a Foundation+

The Lord bless and keep you all. He is so gracious and merciful. =) ...in the midst of all things. Sufferings notwithstanding. He is worthy all praise, all devotion. Always.

And someday, we will enter into His presence. We will give Him all honor, and what a joy to eternally praise our God and Savior when that day comes--eternally. 

He Is, and He Is a Rewarder of Those Who Diligently Seek Him

God is. This is a thing. Reality. One of the deals as that, whether we like it or not, we've got to own up at some point. Here or hereafter.

The evidence mounts exponentially, the more deeply we peer into His wisdom as revealed per the intricacies of scientific study: That order would exist, so even to permit scientific exploration is a wonder beyond comprehension. That our minds would be sufficient to parlay truth, as unto further and further discoveries?--Incomprehensible, apart from receipt of consciousness grafted and imbued by an objective, wise being. And that our very beings--the beings of all life which exists--propagate per encoding which is complex, intricate, and yet so utterly simplistic (four "letters," for all of living creation!?!?!?)?--defies explanation apart from the wisdom of a Creator.

Not to mention the fact that the universe exists at all, in abject defiance of all probability. Let alone according to such a finely tuned set of initial conditions as truly does defy all logical explanation apart from such a one as should wholly be recognized and known as God. A personal being, no less, given what exists.

So much, beyond comprehension. 

And there's this idea that we know so much that somehow we know enough as to rule God out. Absurd. We neither know what gravity is, nor consciousness, and apparently optical science doesn't even practice what they do know (in terms of myopia being correctable)--and howsoever many else such similar inconsistencies there are in our perception and practice of reality, there truly are many--all to say, we don't even know truth regarding what we think we do know to be true, so how much less do we truly know to be false what we don't conclusively know to be false? Preference doesn't equate to pronouncement, is all. 

Because, truly, we as a fallen species have a vested interest in preferring there to be no God: Thus, no accountability to anyone except ourselves, perhaps our societies, maybe the world at large--but if on terms which equate us all as equal, then still we're none at a loss to argue for legitimacy no matter how grievous our deeds or thoughts...so long as we speak well and give good sounding arguments which appeal to those of similar sentiment, then we're all still on equal footing. With no one to judge. 

Similarly, as long as panentheism or pantheism or deism or something of the sort is the adopted stance and preferred ideology, God is denigrated to a position of ostensible indifference, unintelligent permeation, or at "worst," equanimous oversight. At worst, with the most of these ideologies, there's a perceived need to earn standing by a process of doing "more good than evil." But even then, the standard is wholly subjective--self-referential, regardless the cultural precedent by which it's proceeded and propagated. 

All these, so as to avoid actually dealing with God. Making Him out to be something, rather than seeking to know what can be known--rather than desiring to comprehensively know what's true. Rather than desiring to know Him on His own terms, in other words. 

As, for there to be a God, then surely He's sufficiently wise and masterful as to make Himself known in terms which we can grasp. If He can manage DNA, it stands to reason He can manage communication with humans. Capisci? 

In fact, He went a step further than just dictating through humans, after having chosen a group to represent Himself and be the bearers of His revealed Word--He promised through them that He would come, Himself, in the flesh. God being God can do what He deems best. And being all-knowing and all-wise and all-good, whatsoever He deems as best truly is.

And He did choose to come and walk amongst us, as one of us yet also still God. Born of a virgin. Quiet, nondescript childhood. And, then a brief few years of public service. For which He was crucified as a blasphemer attempting political insurrection (the second being a tag-on to get the Romans to collude). He equated Himself with God. Thus the people whom God had chosen...or, really, not all of them--only those who had personal vested interests in doing things their way rather than acknowledging God...such as were in leadership and privilege who were refusing to seek God, themselves...

...well, many didn't recognize Him. And so they wanted Him killed. Because He was doing things which stirred the people up from under their control. Doing things like preaching a kingdom of humility and service and love and persecution, preaching that those who love God will submit to Him and seek to love Him more and walk in step with Him. To abide in Him, moreover. Because, as He put it--apart from Him, we can do nothing (good). He pleaded and rebuked. And He healed those who were impossible to heal. Paralytics. Lepers. The paralyzed. The blind. The dead. He raised the dead twice during His brief walk amongst us as open-professor of truth. Prior to raising Himself from the dead, that is.

He called God His Father. Making Himself thus equal to God, God the Son. And by the Spirit of God which came to dwell with Him upon His open commencement of public service, He healed many both spiritually and physically. Cast out many demons, too. Which...in the Western world isn't as much a thing: much easier to hide in plain sight, when everyone's too distracted by self-importance and busyness to care about reality, after all...

But at the name of Jesus, they do all still tremble--here, there, wherever. As should we.
And when He speaks, they submit. Still. As should we.

The Son of God, incarnate God. The servant of God, Son of God. By the Spirit of God, God as man walked amongst us and enacted and parabolized and pleaded truth to us, that we would return to Him.  And it's all on record now, that His call would continue to go out through the ages.

He who was the only never to turn astray from perfect good and perfect order then submitted Himself to enduring our consequence for having strayed from both. For the sins of the world He died.

That all who believe in Him and trust in Him would be forgiven, healed, reconciled to God. Made new creatures. Incomprehensible, yet true.

He revealed these things. Systematically. Over the centuries. Even as having ordered there to be representations of so much of all the truth encoded in creation, itself--even in the very fabric of our beings.

And He didn't stay dead, is the thing. No one else in the history of time has ever resurrected themselves. Search the records. Chase the rabbit trails. Especially if you're internationally mobile. Like Lee Strobel or Josh McDowell--though, the extent to which they were physically able to investigate is unknown to me. The premise is the same--extensively seek truth. Search it out.

Of all the things worth knowing, then God is the utmost. Especially as He can be known. Personally.

Naught else compares.

Mercy for the Wretched

Learning so many things. Largely regarding my own insufficiencies and wretchedness, apart from God's grace.

I still desperately want to be able to construct flowcharts sufficient to prescribe proper action.
I still desperately want to perceive my understanding as sufficient to gauge what is right and good.
I still cling erroneously to the notion that I know what love is, per my own conceptions and experiences and interpretations of God's ways and wisdom and created order.

But He's been increasingly allowing me to see the utmost need for His guidance moment by moment in all things, such as to fail to know else except to turn to Him in prayer and seek out His Word, that by His Spirit He'll make straight the path before me. This, regarding some Everest-style circumstances, as goes interpersonal relationships. And corporate relationships. And professional relationships. And life. Daily.

I have failed for many months. A year? Utterly. At consistency and diligence. All the more to have appreciation for His mercy toward me, where comes His guidance, deliverance, and preservation. I say this somewhat tongue-in-cheek, as not meaning whatsoever what once I may have--I do not in any capacity despair of life, I am not in any capacity any longer (in the present moment, at least--this battle is still one waged regularly) despising myself...but merely say this in terms of what it is to stand before an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving, wholly good Creator God who sustains me, whom I have utterly been defiant of and despised per my actions again and again: I do not deserve life. Nor peace. Nor kindness. Nor mercy. Nor health. I deserve consequence adequate to the egregious wrongs I've done against Him who so love me as to know me in my mother's womb and love me, even there.

We all deserve such.

And yet His love is so much that, instead, He came in the flesh to walk amongst us and endure that righteous consequence of wrath, Himself. Satisfied my debt. Our debt. Into death. And overcame even death. Resurrected. That all who come to Him in truth will receive mercy rather than the consequence due us.

This is unfathomable. Incomprehensible.

He is trustworthy. Above all. As none else could ever be.

This God. This One God. This Only God.

He is trustworthy. For no matter how dire our circumstances, no matter how deep our despair, no matter how severe our suffering--and there are some beyond utterance--He is trustworthy, in the midst, as He endured and endures with us while yet continuing to extend the offer of mercies untold. Every day, mercies. Beyond measure.

One of the evangelists whom the Lord has been gracious to me through has discussed the difference between man's mercies and God's mercies as considering what one would face in a human court of law. Go before the judge with a few transgressions of the law having been confirmed by officers, and if it's a first offense perhaps the judge will have mercy. Yet, go again in a year with 100 of the same offenses, no matter how grieved you may be to have committed the same the judge is going to throw the book at you, so to speak: you will swiftly encounter consequence as pronounced by the judge.

But, of God? All the more treacherous and despicable are our deeds, in that higher court, as against perfect law, perfect justice, perfect good--and yet, if we come before Him knowing our guilt and embracing the truth of it openly...not rejoicing but contrite...come to Christ Jesus and He will have mercy. Having already paid the debt, Himself. Again and again. And all the more grieved are we, when this is the case--to love Him is to loathe the sin for which He sacrificed Himself to atone the consequence. And yet He forgives.

And even those who don't come, contrite, He is long-suffering toward primarily.
Rain falling upon the just and the unjust, even as the sun shines on both.

We humans aren't nearly so merciful.

All the more dire and grievous when those we love, whom He loves, wander. We must pray for one another. And speak loving words of truth to one another, prayerfully seeking reconciliation with truth. Even as, all the while, our utmost allegiance is to Christ--so, too, do we love those whom He loves.

Yet honoring God, first.

I am piecing through some things which are very grievous and trying, still, and may write openly. He will guide and guard, surely, as I continue to press on toward Christ Himself. Yet these are matters which have been wrestled with deeply and painfully for the past few years.