Even in the midst of apparent peace, trials come. Gladly so, for opportunity to more clearly see Christ and more deeply rest in a burgeoning trust in His sovereign all-sufficiency.
Always, there seems the temptation to fear, lingering around the edges. Fear of trials, fear of lack of apparent tribulation, fear of faltering, fear of inability, fear of ailment, fear of even triviality.
Fear.
It's insidious, even creeping in ways which would purport to be beneficial--fear of falling short, fear of continuing less diligently, fear of neglecting necessities, fear of improperly tending time...
...which, except for the consistency of such fear--being one which edges toward anxiety, rather than one which is composed of a reverential awe of God's majesty and a trembling wonder at the power which He wields...and, predominantly moreover, a sense of dire urgency to follow His will and be conformed to His image which is rooted in such love for Him as incites that such all-encompassing longing to draw ever nearer...
Fear which doesn't entail reverential worship, awestruck prostration before such omnipotence and wisdom, and even perhaps a terror founded in sheer revulsion at the thought of injuriously maligning, treating, or regarding One so utterly beloved--as even might be wont to happen, unthinkingly, without utmost care, utmost diligence to seeking always to be mindful to giving place to His leading...
...fear which is, rather, otherwise grounded in any sort of self-reference, whether as a matter of self-preservation in terms of one's concept self-esteemed behavior or as reference to what's perceived to be lost in terms of perception of others...
...is not good.
If it takes the focus off the Lord and puts it on self and surroundings, it's distracting rather than promoting pursuit of righteousness unto God. Which...ultimately, is only ours in Christ, regardless--even as He calls us to walk in His ways, then we can only do so in His power, as directed by and kept by His Spirit. Moment by moment, and not as a manner of self-direction, self-will, nor fleshly ability.
Any good we walk in is according to what He designed, prior to our creation, is the thing. There's just always that balance to the process, as in everything: we're not meant to be listlessly drifting, mindlessly sifting through modes of thought and process, all while lackadaisically wending in pursuit of nothing more than absolute necessities of life...but nor are we meant to be rapaciously latching onto absolutely any and every purportedly good cause which comes to mind--as though sincere obedience lies in continually and unceasingly doing whatsoever and all sundry matter of acts which might be generally rationalized as righteous.
The distinction is a matter of focus, a matter of inspiration, a matter of incitation to action. Not even merely a matter of internal or external prompting, though. But whether as a matter of having been inspired unto action by the Spirit.
And there's so much misinformation and disinformation abounding, at the moment, on all sides in reference to that sort of prompting...
...He does often speak as a still, small voice...
...and yet, that alone isn't sufficient (generally) to incite action, without continued prayer in tandem and ardent (moreover: desperate) seeking in Scripture, as to ascertain the true source of such a "word."
And, then, other times...circumstances just completely open up, and peace reigns in terms of a movement hither or thither...while yet again accompanied by unceasing prayer and devoted searching of Scripture for accord.
But those who know His Voice...will follow Him.
Will heed His call.
And will be led by Him.
...we just happen to live in an entirely self-indulgent culture of fear, is all, where a couple of particular manifestations of that in terms of general...conception of these matters...often hold sway when it comes to "instruction."
Either "free for all"--diving head-first into whatsoever seeming supernatural event occurs, with Scripture and prayer as an after-thought or even perceived as entirely separate considerations aside of whatever other seeming "manifestations" occur...eisegetically considered, moreover...
...or such a diminution of current spiritual manifestations and leadings and promptings of the Holy Spirit as does reasonably equate to a near-total denouncement of supernatural provision...despite His continued supernatural manifestations per both regeneration and sanctification of each and every member of the Church from its inception, immediately subsequent to Christ's ascension, and as will continue until the day He returns.
Painful.
On the one side, fear of "restricting God," (to be succinct, although this isn't an entirely apt way of phrasing the core matter, being more descriptive of only certain subsects within such division) by refraining from "fully giving in to the Spirit," as though God would somehow be incapable of absolutely and completely overwhelming the will and way and manner of any and all creatures in existence, at whim, were He so capricious.
On the other side, fear of "erring against Scripture," (again, not the most apt term but a slight...characterization...which loosely embodies the manner and state of mind which less precisely colors thinking) as a fastidiously and scrupulously developed manner of approach to Scripture and practice of worship tends to allow impression that any given individual is thus as precisely able to prevent and recover from theological error per the powers of mere human reason and diligence...when, prior to His work in us, drawing us into the truth of God, in the Gospel of Christ...we all were so wholeheartedly and wholemindedly opposed to Truth as to have been utterly blind to it, requiring God to draw us and reveal truth, or else we'd have continued blind all and ever onward...but, yet, in so elucidating truth, does He then leave us to our own faculties as to refrain from error, if we wouldn't recognize it except that He made it apparent, in the first place?
Holiness is something worth considering, on both points, as it means that our own understanding will ever fall short of truth. He has often described Himself in ways which were given terms that were accessible to our reason, our means of understanding--metaphors, most often. But...consider the conversation with Moses. It seems often said that His response, upon being asked who Moses should say had sent him...that, "I Am That I Am"....largely signifies His preeminence and His complete otherness...in that there is nothing known to which we could compare Him, as to really, sincerely know Him on His own terms. He is wholly unlike all things. Or, perhaps it would be better to say...
...nothing in all of creation can in any way adequately compare to Him as to even remotely serve as even merely a reference for the truth of how vast is His transcendence beyond all which is known...
And, so...
...on the one hand, we would unthinkingly and rather haphazardly seek for any supernatural experience, without arduously seeking to ensure it's Him and wholly of Him?...when He gave us multiple direct admonitions to do so, with absolutely every spirit?...and even every thought we have?...so as not to be deceived, because--as He warned--there would be many who would attempt spiritual deception.
...and, on the other hand, we would be so self-assured as to think that we're capable of somehow keeping ourselves free from error, if we just apply ourselves to the effort, and otherwise seek to just refrain from engaging in anything which can't be absolutely pin-pointed according to our own utterly finite understandings of even Scripture (no matter how many thousands of years of research and development has gone into this process, to think that a few thousand years is sufficient to build anything even resembling consistency and inerrancy--not in terms of Scripture, but in terms of traditions of understanding--is perhaps walking a line that too much resembles the Pharisaical traditions of a couple thousand years ago)?...such that, if something isn't immediately apparent according to either tradition or modern modes of thought, then it's reasoned against and discarded just as readily as if it were ours to dictate such matters?...when we were told not to rely on our own understanding, in at least explicit terms?...that our understanding is presently darkened, and will remain so until the day of our total sanctification?...such that we are to be led by the Spirit of God, and trust in Him for understanding and direction?...rather than ourselves?...rather than tradition?
So.
Fear.
We are supposed to be acting in unity, rather than forming camp upon camp upon camp and arguing over the various meanings of words and traditions. Rather than clinging to the teaching of particularly favored saints, as a means of self-identifying within the ranks.
We're supposed to have acknowledged that there are and will be different functions to be performed by different members, different churches, different sects of the same body of Christ, universal.
And I'm as guilty as everyone. Perhaps moreso, for continuing the lament so publicly...or for having fallen into error on all sides, except for the grace of God which continually delivers from even persistent temptation to yet again and ever again fall prey. But all our collective guilt notwithstanding, our obligation to one another remains.
Rather than to fling rocks, words, arguments, ire, or even pity...
...we are to pray for one another.
And if serious error exists, we are to seek in all love and humility to restore one another to the faith.
Which would surely be worth every effort and not something necessarily a hasty matter, in any case at all. But very prayerfully entered in, with much love, with sincere pleading in terms which foster love and an ardent view to Christ at all the outset and entirely throughout all dialogue, such that differences are seen only in light of who Christ is, and not in terms of mere human considerations and preference.
We are all prone to factions. Ever from the beginning of sin, we were wont to make a decision which gave an appearance of personal directive, unto end of personal expression, in a manner of speaking: differentiation. We sought individualism, individualization...self-expression, in a sense. Out of curiosity, desire to exalt self per acquiring a higher perspective, and even a manner of action which gave sense of self-esteem as being self-directed rather than subject to authority.
Thing is, we're all under a higher authority whether we like it or not. And in seeking to exalt our own means to know Him, experience Him, worship Him, seek Him, and even diligently devote ourselves to pursuing His righteousness...we are no less acting as did Eve. Subjugation of self to the will of God, the ways of God, and a right understanding of Him...aren't processes which we control means of achieving nor of maintaining.
Slipping into error isn't even something we can refrain from, regardless our intent and desire to refrain from doing so--except for grace, we would all have remained fallen and we would all yet fall again. He is our hope and our sufficiency. Our portion and our inheritance.
Our King.
So, where is the love?
Where is the desire for reconciliation, rather than further delineation and division?
...or further reaches of depravity, according to whatsoever bend to which one tends?
Love isn't wanton.
It inspires to devotion.
It inspires to obedience.
It inspires to desire deeper knowledge of the Beloved.
It inspires to love all which is beloved of one's love.
Not to divide.
Not to glut oneself on experience, without ardent concern for the Beloved's response to such indiscriminate giving to all directions.
Not to be satisfied with substitutions, imitations, or alternatives.
But to desire always more, always deeper devotion and expression of itself...of love.
...in increasingly thoughtful and meaningful ways, according to an increasing knowledge of what one's Beloved prefers, NOT according to what oneself prefers--forsaking one's own preferences, increasingly, at the joy of pleasing the object of devout affection.
Not self-exalting, but self effacing--without remark as doing such, without consciousness of doing so, but as a matter of seeking to give more deeply to another in such a way as just results in an increasing loss of concern over self.
So many things.
Look at what He did, after all. He divested Himself of all but love, becoming human.
God, Himself. Creator of all which exists.
Creator of each one of us, who designed us and knew us before ever we were a thought to anyone else...loving us, ever prior.
So much so that He sent Christ, God Himself Incarnate, and yet thus Son of God...
...He loved us...loves us all...the world...
...so much that He sent His only begotten Son...
...a Son who loved so much that He walked wholly in obedience, all His life, even unto death on the cross...sacrificing Himself, bearing our sins...that as He died, was buried...and then was resurrected by the very power which works in us, now--His Holy Spirit...
...that we might live--seeing the truth of our wickedness, despite having lived a lifetime of blindness, but having been granted sight by His Spirit working in and amongst us, compelling us to turn from sin, turn to Christ for forgiveness and reconciliation...thus being united to Him in life, by being united also to His death and resurrection. Freed.
He did that. And we quibble over semantics. Even if heretical, then still, how dire is it yet except in light of Christ's sacrifice, resurrection, and total sovereignty?...and, then, dire moreso in terms of ardent longing to see restoration, rather than condemnation, given so incalculable a price as was paid for that such redemption...and so great a love as would and did inspire such sacrifice.
Let us be united.
Pray for one another.
Love.
