Songs: Jesus, Your Love; Only Your Love

Except it be of Him, there's no substance.
And there's a cost: Absolutely everything.

There's no half-way, to Jesus. We're either for or against Him. 

As the heart of the matter.

I had no idea, before being shown, resentment and hatred even existed against Him in my heart--He took a month, showing me. And for all the many years prior, I'd maintained belief that I had some sort of sidelong respect for Jesus. I'd had myself convinced I sincerely cared about Him, even still refusing to acknowledge His (sole, exclusive) ownership of myself, my life, my will, and my ways (not as though I'm perfectly obedient, unfortunately, but He works out our sanctification).

Same is for us all, though--He is Lord. Master.
Whether we want Him to be or not. 

Fact is, He's God, Creator, and Master of all. Being King of all, He is exclusively sovereign in majesty, power, and might--in glory, dominion, and wisdom--explicitly means He's the author and ultimate authority of us all.
Whether we like it or not.

I thought I was just fine with Him being God, for a long while--never realizing I was only okay with the idea of Him being God, but not the practical application in terms of what it means of my life and my will.

Means He has the right to tell me what to do, and when and how. As He sees fit. 

Means He has the exclusive right to ordain the way my life proceeds. Period. 

I was enraged to be unavoidably confronted with that fact, initially: Utterly indignant. Offended. Utterly resentful of His right to exercise prerogative over and in "my" life...over me.

And, eventually--over a month-long course of being unavoidably and continually reminded of His sovereign right to my life and my will and my ways--there was also presented the fact that His sovereign domain would be effected in me, whether I liked it or not. There was only a choice, of sorts: willingly bow to His sovereign right to my life here and now, or do so against my will hereafter and unto the eternal torment cemented by my refusal to submit in the here and now. 

With a choice like that, which isn't a choice, the choice was obvious (ultimately, after being confronted with it for a month...increasingly clarified). And especially given my penchant for doing things to spite myself, as resentment in my heart was so prevalent, to throw myself headlong into submission to His sovereignty was very willfully done even to spite my emotions.

And again and again, He's asked me to count the cost. Without knowing details, but knowing expectation of loss. Losing all things, moreover, in a sense...to Him.

Whatever would obscure devotion and pursuit of Him would rather be taken than allowed to remain. And He's merciful enough and kind enough to do so.

But He gives gifts, too.
In ways which won't obscure, but will help to draw nearer to Him.

Entering into difficulties for the sake of pursuing Christ--knowing they will come, even if only silently acknowledged--is worthwhile: Exceedingly better to have Him than all the world. Better to have Him and absolutely nothing else, than to lack any possible knowledge of Him and yet have anything else which obscures vision of Him.
That is pretty much the choice. In everything.

He helps. He has to--we're not so much capable of doing or even properly wanting, so contorted by sin's machinations that even the best of intentions are often sullied by sorely mixed motives. Well meaning, and yet divided.

But His love is sufficient. His mercies endure.
He will deliver us even from ourselves, if we would but ask.
And seeking Him, He gives all we need and so much more than we could ever dream to hope for...of needs and joys and blessings and fellowship and peace and all which is good. Prospering in Him, even being utterly bankrupt of the world.

In so much as He will keep me, I will not compromise. And yet it's only as He keeps me that I'm able to refrain.

I am very much prayerfully seeking His guidance in a particular matter which has unexpectedly overwhelmed me, entirely. Especially as seeming to drive me further to Christ, rather than distracting from Him: I'm in unknown territory, completely. Blind, except that He would have mercy and direct.

I will trust the Lord.
And eventually I will sleep, too.

Song: Live Like You're Loved, and a few thoughts.

I'm working on being willing and able to really listen to this. By which I mean I'm praying the Lord will help. And expecting He will. And attempting to continue and draw nearer in the meantime. Waiting.

Funny, how there's such a difference between listening and hearing, even. I have consistently and continually been blind to so much which is apparently obvious to most folks. Majoring in the minors, oblivious to the majors. So to speak.

Which has been one of the points of difficulty, coming to know and trust the Lord. He has said things, and I see evidences of His love. And...He does manifest grace to me, for me, through me. But still...still...I manage to doubt He could possibly love me.

Which is bad. In so many ways.

I've just been wrong about so many things, so many times. Being right about anything seems utterly inconceivable. Impossible, even.

So, I have to leave myself out of this. And just take Him at His word. And experience the glorious wonder of His Presence. And the absolute joy of His love. And the brilliance of His peace.

Because if I think about it, at all, except as just accepting...it all disintegrates beneath the weight of self-consciousness and fearfulness.

It took a long time to get to a point of being able to accept His love, and He was merciful enough to have it be in such a way that I was totally dazed and incapacitated from having ability to even do anything other than be amazed.

Yet now that He's allowing me to know Him more and choose more wholeheartedly, increasingly to love Him...I will choose to do so. No matter what. Trusting He will keep me, even when my heart fears being crushed and utterly destroyed, yet again.

I will love the Lord, and He will help. And any pain He would allow to come to me, along the while of opening more completely to Him? I know He's good, so I know it will be to a good end...and to a deeper experience of His fellowship and love, moreover. I would do anything to be nearer Him.

Because of that, "hello" always feels slightly like "goodbye," though. There's awareness that Jesus has to come first. Period. And knowledge that He will keep me in such a position as to ensure that's the case. For my own good. Because it's what's right and good and anything else reaps destruction.

But that doesn't necessarily mean, perhaps, that He won't allow me longstanding fellowship with others. Maybe. However He wills. I am just incapable of comprehending how that could be possible without detracting from devotion to the Lord, and while pressing toward further devotion to Him moreover..

...it's not enough to merely refrain from detracting. There's abject need to direct toward Christ. Otherwise, it may not be as obviously destructive, but no less yields death per stagnation.

Nope. Just no.

So. Again and again, there've been things which I've expected were totally impossible that He's manifest in ways which were utterly, incomprehensibly wonderful beyond what I would ever have even dared to dream to hope for, let alone to ask. Again and again. Even now, of particular fellowship.

So...I'm just going to trust Him. And love Him. And let Him lead.
Because He's worthy. And because I want to do so.

Psalm 68

Bible > KJV > Psalm 68 ◄ Psalm 68 ► King James Bible Let God's Enemies Be Scattered! 1{To the chief Musician, A Psalm or Song of David.} Let God arise, let his enemies be scattered: let them also that hate him flee before him. 2As smoke is driven away, so drive them away: as wax melteth before the fire, so let the wicked perish at the presence of God. 3But let the righteous be glad; let them rejoice before God: yea, let them exceedingly rejoice. 4Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: extol him that rideth upon the heavens by his name JAH, and rejoice before him. 5A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. 6God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land. 7O God, when thou wentest forth before thy people, when thou didst march through the wilderness; Selah: 8The earth shook, the heavens also dropped at the presence of God: even Sinai itself was movedat the presence of God, the God of Israel. 9Thou, O God, didst send a plentiful rain, whereby thou didst confirm thine inheritance, when it was weary. 10Thy congregation hath dwelt therein: thou, O God, hast prepared of thy goodness for the poor. 11The Lord gave the word: great was the company of those that published it. 12Kings of armies did flee apace: and she that tarried at home divided the spoil. 13Though ye have lien among the pots, yet shall ye be as the wings of a dove covered with silver, and her feathers with yellow gold. 14When the Almighty scattered kings in it, it was white as snow in Salmon. 15The hill of God is as the hill of Bashan; an high hill as the hill of Bashan. 16Why leap ye, ye high hills? this isthe hill which God desireth to dwell in; yea, the LORD will dwell in it for ever. 17The chariots of God are twenty thousand, even thousands of angels: the Lord is among them, as in Sinai, in the holy place. 18Thou hast ascended on high, thou hast led captivity captive: thou hast received gifts for men; yea, for the rebellious also, that the LORD God might dwell among them. 19Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah. 20He that is our God is the God of salvation; and unto GOD the Lord belong the issues from death. 21But God shall wound the head of his enemies, and the hairy scalp of such an one as goeth on still in his trespasses. 22The Lord said, I will bring again from Bashan, I will bring my people again from the depths of the sea: 23That thy foot may be dipped in the blood of thine enemies, andthe tongue of thy dogs in the same. 24They have seen thy goings, O God; even the goings of my God, my King, in the sanctuary. 25The singers went before, the players on instruments followedafter; among them were the damsels playing with timbrels. 26Bless ye God in the congregations, even the Lord, from the fountain of Israel. 27There is little Benjamin with their ruler, the princes of Judah andtheir council, the princes of Zebulun, and the princes of Naphtali. 28Thy God hath commanded thy strength: strengthen, O God, that which thou hast wrought for us. 29Because of thy temple at Jerusalem shall kings bring presents unto thee. 30Rebuke the company of spearmen, the multitude of the bulls, with the calves of the people, till every one submit himself with pieces of silver: scatter thou the people that delight in war. 31Princes shall come out of Egypt; Ethiopia shall soon stretch out her hands unto God. 32Sing unto God, ye kingdoms of the earth; O sing praises unto the Lord; Selah: 33To him that rideth upon the heavens of heavens, which wereof old; lo, he doth send out his voice, and that a mighty voice. 34Ascribe ye strength unto God: his excellency is over Israel, and his strength is in the clouds. 35O God, thou art terrible out of thy holy places: the God of Israel is he that giveth strength and power unto his people. Blessed be God.

Songs: Psalm 19, More

◄ Psalm 147 ►

King James Bible It is Good to Sing Praises to Our God (Romans 3:1-8; Hebrews 10:1-18) 1Praise ye the LORD: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely. 2The LORD doth build up Jerusalem: he gathereth together the outcasts of Israel. 3He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. 4He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them all by theirnames. 5Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding isinfinite. 6The LORD lifteth up the meek: he casteth the wicked down to the ground. 7Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God: 8Who covereth the heaven with clouds, who prepareth rain for the earth, who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains. 9He giveth to the beast his food, and to the young ravens which cry. 10He delighteth not in the strength of the horse: he taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man. 11The LORD taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy. 12Praise the LORD, O Jerusalem; praise thy God, O Zion. 13For he hath strengthened the bars of thy gates; he hath blessed thy children within thee. 14He maketh peace in thy borders, and filleth thee with the finest of the wheat. 15He sendeth forth his commandment upon earth: his word runneth very swiftly. 16He giveth snow like wool: he scattereth the hoarfrost like ashes. 17He casteth forth his ice like morsels: who can stand before his cold? 18He sendeth out his word, and melteth them: he causeth his wind to blow, and the waters flow. 19He sheweth his word unto Jacob, his statutes and his judgments unto Israel. 20He hath not dealt so with any nation: and as for his judgments, they have not known them. Praise ye the LORD. Bible > KJV > Isaiah 40 ◄ Isaiah 40 ► King James Bible Prepare the Way for the Lord (Matthew 3:1-12; Mark 1:1-8; Luke 3:1-20; John 1:19-28) 1Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God. 2Speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned: for she hath received of the LORD'S hand double for all her sins. 3The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the LORD, make straight in the desert a highway for our God. 4Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain: 5And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it. The Word of the Lord Stands Forever (1 Peter 1:22-25) 6The voice said, Cry. And he said, What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field: 7The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the LORD bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass. 8The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever. Here is Your God! 9O Zion, that bringest good tidings, get thee up into the high mountain; O Jerusalem, that bringest good tidings, lift up thy voice with strength; lift it up, be not afraid; say unto the cities of Judah, Behold your God! 10Behold, the Lord GOD will come with strong hand, and his arm shall rule for him: behold, his reward iswith him, and his work before him. 11He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry themin his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young. 12Who hath measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, and meted out heaven with the span, and comprehended the dust of the earth in a measure, and weighed the mountains in scales, and the hills in a balance? 13Who hath directed the Spirit of the LORD, or being his counseller hath taught him? 14With whom took he counsel, and who instructed him, and taught him in the path of judgment, and taught him knowledge, and shewed to him the way of understanding? 15Behold, the nations are as a drop of a bucket, and are counted as the small dust of the balance: behold, he taketh up the isles as a very little thing. 16And Lebanon is not sufficient to burn, nor the beasts thereof sufficient for a burnt offering. 17All nations before him are as nothing; and they are counted to him less than nothing, and vanity. 18To whom then will ye liken God? or what likeness will ye compare unto him? 19The workman melteth a graven image, and the goldsmith spreadeth it over with gold, and casteth silver chains. 20He that is so impoverished that he hath no oblation chooseth a tree that will not rot; he seeketh unto him a cunning workman to prepare a graven image, that shall not be moved. 21Have ye not known? have ye not heard? hath it not been told you from the beginning? have ye not understood from the foundations of the earth? 22It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in: 23That bringeth the princes to nothing; he maketh the judges of the earth as vanity. 24Yea, they shall not be planted; yea, they shall not be sown: yea, their stock shall not take root in the earth: and he shall also blow upon them, and they shall wither, and the whirlwind shall take them away as stubble. 25To whom then will ye liken me, or shall I be equal? saith the Holy One. 26Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth. 27Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the LORD, and my judgment is passed over from my God? 28Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. 29He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. 30Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: 31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Song: You Are Loved

Songs: You Never Let Go, Can't Be Moved

Song: You Are My Hiding Place, His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Song: May the Words of My Mouth (Psalm 19), Hebrews 12

Hebrews 12English Standard Version (ESV)

Jesus, Founder and Perfecter of Our Faith

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Do Not Grow Weary

3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
    nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and chastises every son whom he receives.”

7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. 14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; 16 that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. 17 For you know that afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.

A Kingdom That Cannot Be Shaken

18 For you have not come to what may be touched, a blazing fire and darkness and gloom and a tempest 19 and the sound of a trumpet and a voice whose words made the hearers beg that no further messages be spoken to them. 20 For they could not endure the order that was given, “If even a beast touches the mountain, it shall be stoned.” 21 Indeed, so terrifying was the sight that Moses said, “I tremble with fear.” 22 But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, 23 and to the assembly[a] of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, 24 and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

²⁵ See that you do not refuse him who is speaking. For if they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape if we reject him who warns from heaven. ²⁶ At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” ²⁷ This phrase, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of things that are shaken—that is, things that have been made—in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. ²⁸ Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, ²⁹ for our God is a consuming fire.

Song: Do Not Be Afraid