Lord willing, there will be time here again sometime in the nearish future. So many minor, yet compelling changes lately, plus so many heavy contemplations, have held my attention and efforts elsewhere.
He continues to keep me, without regard to my constant failures and insufficiencies. Or rather, maybe that really is the course, as Jesus said He did come to seek and to save that which was lost. That those who were blind might have sight, just as the dead would live at the sound of His voice.
Constantly, I'm reminded of my inability to do right or be good enough in my own strength. I'm plagued by realizations of my own brusqueness, impatience, and uncaring nature--but only with simultaneous arising of a longing to be made over in these areas, as one who is gentle, patient, and loving. So to be more like Him. Charitable of spirit, thought, and deed.
To be less self-consumed--that is the grief and desire of my heart. Yet, longing to be thus while without departure from truth--not to seek to care as the world cares, with a view only to promoting others' self-indulgences in pursuit of pleasures and esteem...but caring as He cares.
Regardless, point being is there's been a lot of time given to deeper realization of my own natural (i.e., fallen) nature's opposition to God and godliness--and, moreover, the inability to be godly except that it be His work, in effect and per instance by His Spirit. He is able.
