Put Off the Old Self

He is faithful to answer prayer. No matter how the darkness attempts to rage, at times, it can go only as far as He allows and no further.

To realize that our God is one who restrains evil, lest suffering be so far worse in the world than it is...can be so difficult, in the face of abject pain. That He would allow pain and even ordain it is hard to comprehend, at times.

And yet the curse of death, the curse of disease, the curse of suffering...are all ordained as the results of breaking God's moral law. He ordained moral order and we have broken it. We have broken all of His laws.

All of them, in as far as we have been able. Pressing to the very reaches of depravity, even now.

Mocking Him to His face by attempting to uncover Him on our terms, simultaneous of ardent refusal to acknowledge the truth of who He is.

These aren't small matters. They're not light. They're no trivial.

We're not entitled to know Him, is the thing. Merely, He is willing.

On His terms, and not our own.

And we rage against even that, as though we somehow had ought be catered to in our desires to approach Him according to just any means of approach. So long as we, in some capacity, believe we intend well.

Problem is, though, that very stance is one in direct, flagrant opposition to God.

To simultaneously assert a sense of self-worth and self-righteousness in approaching the Creator of the Universe and owner of all which is in it...

...is the height of arrogance. Basically saying that, because we are created, then we are equivalent unto our Creator...in power, in significance, in worth. Claiming that the free will which He gives us would be erred against, if He would deign ordain any particular requirements upon us, as unto Him.

All of which ignores the fact that free will only exists within the scope which He ordained it. And no further. Which basically means...free will isn't free. It's a gift. And a gift with limitations preset by the giver.

Because He has that prerogative. We don't.
We didn't create ourselves. He created us.

He owns us. All the earth and everything on it is His.

Check His word.

It's not up to us to approve of what He does, to approve of God. Rather, we are given to tremble at the reality of the fact that it's only by His grace that we've not already destroyed ourselves completely. And at any moment, He could choose to remove His restraining arm. And the very evil which we have glutted ourselves on would absolutely overwhelm.

Were it not for love, perhaps. Love such that He even sent His son to die--a markedly gruesome picture which does indeed evidence the depths of how atrocious sin is, that such an act would be the means of having it overcome. Unto death, death on the cross.

His own son. For love of us. That whoever believes on Christ would have the life of God restored, within, as a new heart be given in place of the heart of stone, loving wickedness, delighting in evil.

He will eventually right all things, though. He will bring all things into total subjection.
But awaits, even now, seeking more would be reconciled through Christ as not to endure wrath He willingly bore on our behalf.

Ultimately, it's not a choice, is the thing. We didn't choose to be born. And despite that some attempt to take matters into their own hands (self-included, on all counts), we have not chosen to bear death. These things are given, by God. One, as grace, per His divine will so to do. The other, as a result of having ever erred against Him.

And yet we continually choose death. I despair of it, the ongoing giving in to temptation. But it drives to a deeper reliance upon God, as the only deliverer.

He's been faithful. Ongoing, incrementally fulfilling all things according to His Word.

Which He will do. Period.
All the more reason to seek to know what that means.

Brief Mention of Battle

Maintaining resolve in the midst of a battle isn't a matter of choice. Especially when, in truth, the attack has come because of advances for the cause of the Lord. Pressing in to Him, pressing onward for the sake of the Kingdom of God, pursuing Him with a desire unto utmost abandon.

Such is anathema to the enemy.

But Jesus said that the gates of hell would not prevail against us.

Again and again, these past many months, that brief bit of Scripture has come back to mind. People of God talking about the purpose of a gate, especially in context of Christ's statement.

A gate can keep people in, but that's really not the purpose. In Christ, we're freed from the dominion of sin, so the gates of Hell no longer constitute our domain. Rather, being translated into Christ's Kingdom...we have become enemies of the former.

And those who follow Christ are given, by Him, to act. Even be it in prayer, as always in prayer primarily do we advance...

...then however He gives us to move, to act, to do, to speak, to seek Him...

...so long as we're warring against our own flesh, still, as being in the midst of the world yet not longer of it...

...then our very lives constitute an offense to the powers of the world. Our very existence is set against the powers of wickedness, the spiritual powers of this world, the prince of darkness. The accuser.

That cannot be avoided, in following Christ. It's just a matter of fact. And all the more reason to die daily to the flesh, that by God's grace and mercies, made new every day...we would give no place to the devil.

None.

I know these aren't comfortable things to talk about, in a lot of ways. Given the last few weeks in my own life, and whatever other reasons the Lord has for so allowing, taking an open stance on this matter is of importance.

I once sought to bargain with satan. I once attempted to make a pact. And I don't know if that's why there've been the threats and attempted bouts of nonsense, or if it's only par for the course of coming to Christ...but there've been threats made again, openly, these past couple weeks.

And, quite frankly, it's beginning to have been old. It's nonsense.

My life is in God's hands. Jesus Christ purchased it with His blood, with His suffering, with His life. My soul is hid in Him, and all that I am is His. So, these threats are as unto a dead man walking by the power of God, alone. I don't think they quite have begun to grasp that yet, but it's the case.

And the Lord has been so merciful to me as to have had that be a continual waking, experiential reality, even so as to know the truth of it all the more blatantly, humbled and grateful.

The Lord will work it out, though. He must, and He will, because His is the power, and the kingdom, and the glory, forever. It's only my place, our place...to obey. To trust and obey, listening diligently to the Shepherd who leads in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

He will guide through the valley of the shadow of death. He never forsakes. A mighty warrior is our God. Even death He overcame in short order. Nothing can stand against Him, ultimately. When He moves, creation trembles.

He will show Himself mighty on behalf of those who strive to live uprightly before Him, those who believe Him and trust in Him wholly. Those who seek Him.

Jesus is willing. He made sacrifice that these things could be done, by Him unto us. Through Him. God Incarnate.

So, when the enemy comes, I will trust my Lord to raise up a standard against him and drive them all out as though purged by the very breath of God. For His banner over us is love, which casts out fear. And covers a multitude of sins.

Our Redeemer lives.

Darkness Will Not Overcome

How much I want to just proclaim Christ's goodness, His faithfulness, and how transformative His love has been and is.

He continues answering prayers. Not just a bit at a time, not just periodically, but every single moment.

The peace and encompassing wonder of His abiding love--never wavering, through each storm that's come and gone even within this short span of having walked consciously with Him, surrendered...

...His continual presence is an answered prayer.

And my only regret related to that is regarding my own continued penchant still to mentally stray, even into temptation. How wretched, to be held rapt by the love of a diligent and attendant Father, whose every intention is for my good and for the good of all my brothers and sisters...yet, still, to continually turn away from Him, allowing my heart to wane in fervor.

Maybe all generations and all times have really struggled with the idea of love, though. Because, really, even as it's been told me so many times by my sisters in Christ this past year...the idea that it's not possible to actually know or experience pure, true love apart from the love of God...

...is a difficult concept.

Mostly because I remember the good times, too, of camaraderie with others who didn't know Christ. I don't know to what extent any heart is ever given to ulterior motives, to selfishness in the midst of fellowship. I can't even recognize the true state of my own heart unless the Lord reveals it to me--which, this too has struck me all the more, recently.

These things are true. They're very painful to consider, for the implications surrounding. But, even as i hang my head to acknowledge it...these things are true.

Love apart from God is tainted by sin, although He is so gracious as to have preserved true reflections of His own pure love in certain forms between others. Some parental-child relationships have that sort of pure, untainted love, I'm sure. I would imagine. From what I see and hear.

Just as some platonic relationships have what approaches agape love--true desire for the good and well-being of one's friend. To such extent that there are those who stage interventions for suffering and struggling beloved friends, despite how difficult that must be--in terms of likelihood of rejection, bitterness, strife, and what in modern society might seem to be an infringement upon personal liberty...but out of actual, effective love, to risk displeasure and rejection for the sake of attempting to pursue ultimate well-being rather than temporary peace.

And then, there's forgiveness between friends, too...which is of love, selfless, in ways. And of mercy.

By God's grace, it is.

We aren't responsible for the existence of these things, is the point. And we don't tend to them in ways which helps them flourish--not apart from the good which He originally intended and instilled in us, prior to sin. What vestiges of that good remain, to His glory and according to His merciful restraints...those remnants of good, even you could say encoded in our DNA--made in the image of our Creator, as to love and be merciful...

...those remnants are reason enough to love Him more, knowing He's responsible. And further reason to love one another more deeply, too, as further reminded that He's the Creator of all which is, and His love for each of us is steadfast. Even as some will remain opposed to Him, choosing judgment rather than reconciliation through Christ...His love is no less. Another very hard truth.

He would prefer that none would perish. Yet He won't force the unwilling to submit prior to the appointed time. He'll allow rebellion until that time when He has appointed all things to come into subjection to the truth of who He is.

Even bringing many to salvation, still, in the meantime until then.

On which point I'm currently utterly transfixed, in terms of His mercy. This, both to myself, and in terms of prayer for those whom I love who are still in a state of abject hostility to the true God, the God of Abraham.

There are many. And prayer will continue. He's been answering. He's been saving.
He's working mightily in the lives of a couple of those who are utterly dearest to me, even as it is all the more heart-wrenching to realize the pain to come through process of denying self as to come to Christ...it's worth it.

I know that, from experience.

It's worth it to forsake everything, to have Him, to know Him, to serve Him.

But even then, the forsaking is done according to His will--not necessarily haphazardly nor thoughtlessly nor frantically. He asks for restraint and obedience, submission and humility.
Brokenness and contrition are par for the course.

None of these are easy to bear, especially at first, especially when flesh is so wont to remain utterly prevalent in attempting to bear the weight of all things, still, rather than keeping submission to Christ.

The Lord, though, He works these things out in us. He's shown me this in my own life. Bit by bit. Step by step. Moment by moment.

Even as He answers prayer for those around me in ways which are recognized as direct response.
He is answering. He has been. Increasingly blatantly.

I have trusted Him, and He has tested me. And will continue, both counts. Neither by my own strength nor by anything good in me, but by the Spirit of Christ in me, who strengthens and guides.
He is all which is good in me.

And the greatest desire is to completely be purged of self, so to be wholly submissive to Him, walking in full measure of the knowledge of His Spirit, even so to have the very mind of the Lord. For the sake of His glory, for the sake of those whom He would have as His, whom He purchased with His precious blood.

And He will do this. Because He has said that He will fulfill whatever's asked according to His will, believing.

So many who are beloved to me are in New Orleans. Many whom I can no longer get to speak with me, because of my proclamations of Christ--toeing the line is not good, and blatant profession has been off-putting. Even especially in terms of how wretched I've been all my life, apart from Christ--wholly undependable, duplicitous, hypocritical, judgmental, flippant, unsympathetic, and arrogant, not to mention other, similarly nefarious tendencies which had long-distorted my ways and proven total lack of moral integrity.

I don't even know the depths of how wretched I've been--the Lord revealed a week ago something that has been so long-standing an entirely pervasive wretchedness that...the entirety of what had been my sense of self has been utterly broken, but gladly for having realized how absolutely flawed, marked by sin I am.

Arrogant. Proud. Self-exultant and self-exalting.

Must trust Him to keep me, all the more, as not to be continually carried along by such horrible, incompassionate stance.

It goes.

And in the midst of a consideration of love, it goes.
He has to do these things, though, or they won't be done. We only see what we're blind to when sight has been restored. We who are so long lost and maimed...can't find our way, can't be made whole in our own strength.

God can do these things. He's willing, through Christ.

When we seek Him. He will.

So, to see prayers answered...

...He is relentless. And it's effortless for Him--just part of who He is, how He is, just in being.

So to know the gospel is going out as a live performance in New Orleans, this weekend?...inviting locals to come?...even as the whole thing is going to be broadcast live on FOX?

Let revival start there, then, if He wills. Where sin has abounded, let grace all the more abound.
I certainly did so horribly as to add to the burden of sin in that city, for years. Even to the point of death, multiple times over--God has been so gracious to spare me, time and time again--but let grace abound. That sin would be overturned. That repentant hearts would seek Him, in spirit and truth.

Unto salvation. Peace with God. Reconciliation in Christ.

There, and to the nation, and to the world.
He makes the wisdom of man foolishness, with His foolishness being of higher wisdom that we can even begin to conceive. The preaching of the cross for the salvation of many.

So many seeds to be sown.
And no matter how man or demon may attempt to interfere, Christ is sovereign and His will be done. On earth as it is in heaven, His will is done. The truth will overshadow all.

To the glory of His name, then. Lord, let it be.

If that broadcast is live, then perhaps there will even be international viewers. Perhaps there will be satellite feed throughout the world, then and there. I have someone else whom I need to call, tomorrow.

Lord, have mercy on us all.
Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us all, we are sinners.

He Is Merciful, Otherwise We'd All Be Lost: Should We Not Likewise Seek Mercy?

We long for things in this world that destroy us. This breaks down to being anything that's not purely good, in both intent and effect, in all directions.

As opposed to, say, like a personal battle that's been a point of petitioning the Lord's assistance for myself--stuff like eating fast food. It's convenient, so the (potential) stress of taking time to cook is ruled out...it's cheap (can be), in terms of immediate financial investment, and it satisfies an overt need for food. On any of those fronts (and perhaps some that haven't come to mind), rationale could be presented for the acceptability of fast food as a reasonable option. The immediate harms aren't absolutely evident, either in terms of the "support" per consumption of supply-side practices or in terms of the personal effects such a practice can have, to harm health, if it's regularly done.

I'm speaking metaphorically here, while citing something specific the Lord has been making clear to me, in terms of an inherent hypocrisy of doing such things while yet maintaining any sort of condescension (judgment) of struggles others face against various self-indulgences.

Sin is self-indulgence, in a lot of ways. And that's a really heavy statement to just leave hanging, but so be it, for now.

None of us have room for judgment, is the thing. We are to work out our own salvation, while only ever prayerfully attempting to speak truth into the lives of those we love, out of love for them, when and if the Lord ever strikes us to do so.

I'm still coming out of another round of attempted discrimination of truth, which led to so much arrogance and bitterness and divisiveness, rather than inspiring love and mercy and prayerful interaction.

He's showing me, yet again, how very and absolutely dependent we all are upon Him even just to recognize truth. Period.

We're completely incapable of recognizing truth, apart from His direct intervention. Because of what sin has done to utterly cloud our minds, largely.

But perhaps also because we were created dependent upon our Creator. And that's the way it was meant to be, so anything else amounts to deviation.

Carnal minds turned against Him.

He softens hearts and hardens them. He has mercy on whom He will have mercy. And yet, He's said that He won't ever turn away someone who seeks Him. Earnestly seeks Him. He has said that He will be found by those who seek Him earnestly, requiring Him as an utmost necessity.

He's our only hope. His love our only true shelter.

All else is absolute madness. Increasingly chaotic. The pace is so fierce at this point that memory seems to have pretty much disappeared--attempting to be like God, we make ourselves fools. We just aren't capable of operating in any way akin to Him, and the more ardently we attempt to approach unto that, the more we utterly destroy ourselves by deviating from the truth of our innate nature, over the course of the process.

He's told us time and again that's the way things are ordered in His universe. He has told us that if we act in ways which are against created order, it works death. Death to all things, really. To reason, to morality, to sanity, to logic, to understanding, to wisdom, to sincerity, to hope, to peace, to family, to society, to love.

The last days were expected to come to such a point that the hearts of many would grow cold.
Not just stone hearts, where fathers and mothers still loved children. But lacking all emotion, is what that verse always says to me.

I've been there. I've experienced that. And to a degree, am still seeking the Lord would further shed His love abroad in my heart, in increasing measure--because what love there is, it's still so shallow, so cold that self-interest often gives way to self-indulgence rather than submission to the will of God in Christ. Rather to have a pizza than set the money aside for charity, for the kingdom.

He's convicting me of that, and I praise Him for it. Except that He delivers me from myself, there's just no hope. And this perhaps to be a lifelong battle. Against self-indulgence. A war against sinful desires of the flesh, for ease, and comfort, and self-congratulations.

His love is sufficient to such an extent that self-interest actually only scoffs at the depths of His actual regard. He knows so much better what's needed, what's required, and what's good and right for each of us, unto deliverance into greater reaches of His peace and love, that it will ever more overflow to others...He knows these things so much better than we do. We have need only to trust Him.

Rather than indulging anxiety. Rather than being frightened of shadows in the night that whisper of personal insufficiency and circumstantial hostilities. These are all lies, only keeping truth from being held in the highest esteem.

Surrender to Christ. The world is absolute chaos, but just seek Jesus. He is trustworthy. He is faithful. His love covers a multitude of sins. And He leads in paths of righteousness for His own name's sake. Even through the valley of the shadow of Death, but His rod and staff are a comfort.

His constant Presence, ever more clearly experienced, per ardent pursuit of Him...per ardent desire for the joy of His regard...per seeking Him, worshipping in spirit and truth...

...is worth all and anything, just to know.

He is worth any and all sacrifices. He is.
And the most humbling matter regarding that is to know that even when sacrifice comes, He's ever present to guide and comfort through the storm. His love ever overflowing, to soothe and heal both oneself and those others whomever He ordains to be served through the overflow of His beneficence.

He's not a hard taskmaster, even as self-denial is required just to pursue Him.
He's not cruel, even as we each have to bear our own cross to follow Him.

These things are for the good of our souls, and He's already borne them for us, so even to help us bear them in pursuit of Him--so great is His love and kindness, His grace and mercy unto us.
He will meet us wherever we are, but He won't leave us in the ditch. We have to come out of the darkness to walk in the light.

Not mixed nature. Not a fractured heart, but made whole. Not lukewarm, but blazing with a passion for His kingdom and to know Him.

They physical indulgences which distract from that passion for Him and for the actual good of others stifles that flame, though, with every further indulgence. Except for grace, is all. Yet, to desire Him is to desire to be even more impassioned to serve Him, increasingly so. Such as makes for desire against those things which detract from ardent pursuit of Him--a desire against those things which numb the senses, dull the pain of separation, or give a sense of unreality to the actual urgency of the call to follow and serve Him.

Our flesh would rather have no trials, no pains--the harder we're pushed, the more strenuously we're tested, the more excruciatingly we're squeezed, the more we will find absolutely no recourse except to all the more completely, fully, and consciously rely all the more wholeheartedly upon a conscious fellowship with Jesus. Bearing His regard, even just to survive the day--blessed, ever to know it, and rejoicing in suffering for the sake of knowing Him more clearly. Though the path to that...is so painful...still, He comforts in ways all along the way. Because He is the Way.

Coming to know Him, even in His sufferings. Sharing them. Even as to have His mind.

These are things which are maybe impossible to describe, and they seem too sacred to touch passingly with words that can only hope to hint at truth without being about to reveal, except that He were to make it so, regardless.

But the things spoken in Scripture weren't flippantly done. Purposefully.

The more I walk with Christ, is all, the more He seems to make it all more clear that He's the one carrying me, even dragging me along. Attention wanders constantly, and the more anxious are my desires to prevent myself from error, the further into error I wade. To such extent that, reaching a point of believing myself positioned well in the midst of a set of what's decided as good doctrine...has multiple times, now, been atmosphere for anxiety and divisiveness and arrogance and hypocrisy and self-righteousness to brew and overflow even into bitterness. To such extent that I even despaired of life, again, crying out to the One who has never left me...for mercy.

Just mercy.

I will share what He shows me, still, in hopes that even being very honest about my utter failures to be faithful have nonetheless been corrected and forgiven by a faithful Saviour whose love is far greater than any of our ability to sin.

He has been so merciful to me. Again, and again, and again.

Unto greater trust, for knowing Him more intimately through what He reveals of Himself even by revealing my own hardheartedness as foil--unto repentance and desire to be transformed.

Just seem Him. That's all I know. He's fearsome and mighty and powerful beyond reckoning--to be feared and reverenced. Unto a turning away from evil, even, so as to please the Almighty--the great lover of our souls, whose love is virtuous and pure...turning to Him, by turning away from evil.

He alone can guide. Dig in to Scripture, cling to His Presence, and don't look back.

Love and Truth

This attached quote/pic seems very much to speak to a core concern regarding so many things. It def was the point of contention which used to absolutely enrage me in consideration of what I perceived to be Christianity, at least.

In order to legitimately continue to follow Jesus Christ as a disciple, there's implicit requirement that utmost credence be give to the singular matter He said was absolutely vital to rightly-doing all things else: The Greatest Commandments are about love, thus deeming love the focal point for utmost ardent study and prayerful pursuit.

Makes sense to me, anyway. I've prayed about it. And read. A lot. Because my life has definitely been--and still is--riddled by a host of unloving things done against God, against others, and also against myself. So, for love to be the greatest call, the highest calling, THE commandment of commandments--it has to be taken seriously and seriously endeavored, especially having so consistently failed. Only and explicitly by the grace of God, even now, is love being learned and embodied, to any and increasing extent.

So, this past year, I've really been striving to know what love actually is--because if I'm somehow going to manifest something, it seems reasonable that I probably need to have some basic idea what it actually is, even as to recognize it...at the very least. This, in the recent past, has progressively evolved into what is now a study of what it means to embody a love which is neither self-seeking nor even self-concerned (nor self-demeaning/self-deprecating, though, to note: an entire other consideration which would take many words, also).

This is legit, though: The pursuit of actual, God-seeking and people-serving love is intense. A big thing. The biggest. The following bit of writing is brief reflection which touches on various points of consideration along this recent way, while some of the most immediately following bits are almost excerpted straight from Scripture. Which--another thing that's proven rather frustrating (exciting) to find over course of this pursuit, as a whole, is that reading through excerpts or passages or even the whole doesn't ever provoke total comprehensive grasp of the breadth of intent and meaning. This, especially as each bit of writing is always both distinctly and also contextually meaningful--within immediate context plus also within the entirety.

Thus, absolutely every topic requires a lot of focused study, ongoing meditation even upon related concepts, and pursuit unto both immediate and contextual understanding--explicit, implicit, and conceptual. So, each unto the next, as any meaning is further grasped it allows for a broader contemplation of other matters which are yet tangentially related across the span of the all--each revelation is ever unto further revelation and broader understanding of both parts and the whole.

It took four years to get to a point where anything whatsoever even started to make any sort of comprehensible, actual sense--of any of Scripture. And even now--an additional two years in--certain topics are only beginning to make sense, even as oft in such a way as only clearly indicates depths of meaning which are yet further beyond immediate grasp, regarding related topics: Studying, while ever being directed unto what to study.

Just to say: All of this...is very time consuming, but whatever. It's fascinating. And if the last year's worth of effort in this direction is any indication, I'll probably be studying and learning love and what it means to love...at least for the rest of my life, without ever beginning to actually exhaust that particular thread.

Love, though...
Love is not fearful, anxious, nor arrogant, but is trusting, patient, hope-filled, and steadfast. Love serves others rather than seeking to serve itself. Love doesn't mock differences, even as steadfastly refraining from being compromised. Love admits wrongs, seeks peace, desires to walk in compassion--all without forsaking or compromising truth. Love might not agree nor condone, but it's not easily angered and it is enduringly kind. Love speaks truth as best can ever be done, always for the sake of loving God and others more than self.

Many things to learn, to become. But by grace: Vital necessities. So, the Lord's helping me figure it all out, step by step--despite chaos attempting to interfere or dissuade, fair constantly. Eh. smile emoticon

Love is the greatest commandment, is all: 1) Love God absolutely, 2) Love others selflessly. Everything else which is righteous and good proceeds out of the state of being required as to attain unto and embody each of these to any true and increasing degree. Such love intrinsically requires essential self-denial so to embody the implicit selflessness foundational unto development of each: Love entails an active pursuit of the good of another, which inherently requires concertedly turning away from expending resources (of emotional, mental, physical, financial means or whatever else) unto self. Basic economics: limited resources exist, if you use them on one thing, you no longer have them to use on something else. Love is as that, in a way: Acting to pursue God and to pursue the good of someone other than self turns that same energy and ardency away from what would any-otherwise be pursuit of in-anywise-exclusive-of-God-and-others self-interest. Love isn't self-seeking, so anything which purports to be "love" which is inherently concerned with self-gratification, self-interest, or self-indulgence...isn't love of God or of others, but is selfishness. There are only the two--selfish or selfless. ("To be or not to be?," in a sense, yah.)

Thereabouts seems to lie the heart of the paradox of our condition--an enigma of subjectively seeking transcendence unto objectivity, as unto realm of an absolute, so as to actually love. And there is a Way, but it's difficult to discern: Self-consumption and the cares of the world make it nearly impossible, is all, except for grace: Deliverance from self is required.

One major distraction along that course is that there are so many purported means unto and as to love which don't espouse inherent, explicit requirement of self-denial as part of loving. But, again, any purported love which turns to seek its own comforts and security rather than 1)pursuing God's will as 2)unto the good of others...actively asserts self to an actual exclusion of truly loving either God or others. Self-exaltation is not loving, for actively exalting self at the expense of otherwise endeavoring to love God, which would overflow unto actual love of others. (Any love which neglects truth isn't love but indulgence: Love seeks true, actual good of a beloved. The source of any actual truth must ultimately be an absolute. A Creator of all which exists must ultimately be the absolute fount of any truth which is actual. Where there is purported truth, if it has deviated from the absolute trith sufficient to anywise contradict the absolute, it has erred and is no longer actual. Discovery of the absolute is necessary as to discern actuality of purported derivatives. Likewise, in order to pursue any actual good, there's requirement of knowing actual truth regarding what's being endeavored. The only way to know is to work from the absolute--without the existence of absolutes, nothing could be established as true. And if nothing could be established as true, then something must be true, as "nothing is true," must be either true or false--either of which constitutes an absolute, indicating the existence of absolute truth. So, if anything at all is a truth, then there's an absolute from which it has derived. .. Absolutes establish whether a purported truth is actually true, of whether purported good is actual good, of whether love is actual love. Now, as goes actual acceptance of truth, even proven true?...that's an entirely different beast: something about free will.)

So-called self-love, though--concerted self-indulgence--isn't actually love. It's empty exaltation, actively distracting from a pursuit of truth, as at the simultaneous expense of loving God, which likewise constitutes having actively chosen to neglect the actual good of all. Which isn't loving. Love seeks to do good, never to even unintentionally harm or encourage harm of others. Nor perhaps even to silently observe such harm.

It's painful...difficult...to look in the mirror and see these things are the case: Difficult, to see that a constant desire for comfort and self-preservation and good reputation mitigates and diminishes and actually degrades and compromises my pursuit of and action according to truth, thus even besmirching the love of God and likewise also compromising my love for others. It's very hard to acknowledge and accept that consistent self-seeking and self-indulgence doesn't do me nor anyone else any favors, but only builds and reinforces walls that have long trapped me in a prison of my own making, even blocking God's love and love from others from unmitigatedly entering in.

Touching base with others along the way in guarded fashion never comprehensively worked a restorative good, on the whole: Such guarded love often did sincerely and blessedly preserve from utter despair, but yet had no power to fully deliver from desolation...and while it oft blessedly and sincerely afforded glorious moments of sanctuary in the midst of both friends and family, it never provided peace which lastingly permeated the core of isolation.

Momentary flashes of light do graciously brighten a room, as moments of camaraderie do truly warm unto compassion--even engendering actual, selfless love whenever self is completely forgotten in the midst of a truly open interaction. But as soon as self-regard returns in any way, the curtain falls and the light fades. And, then, there had always been a matter of remaining so far removed from God (largely per a semi-conscious refusal to even attempt to approach Him on His own terms, having ever been hurt by the church--become indignantly insistent upon charting my own path to His truths) that such similar-effect blockades against Him kept His love and peace away, nearly always.

Now, the cares of the world still often obscure awareness of Him-- whenever any-present concern for self emerges, it diminishes the embracing warmth of His love unto me (incomprehensibly, loving Him any-truly and ardently is to be likewise encompassed by the warmth of His love).

To love self or seek to exalt self--rather than graciously receiving whatever comes, while seeking to love, selflessly--occludes the possibility of love, like a curtain fallen against the morning light.

A vicious cycle. Needing deliverance.

Actual need is for kindling a constant, blazing fire in the hearth, though. We, none, have the proper tinder, but have to seek for it. Asking without ceasing, moreover.

I never even realized all this was so dire a problem--and has been, over all the many years of my life--until now and recently. I'm just going to continue praying for further deliverance, is all. The Lord has proven faithful to do these things, again and again: He's done so much already. Through death, hell, and the fire...preserved and delivered.

Just to love.

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

 If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

 Love never dies.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8

(crossposted)

On Being Led by the Holy Spirit and the Futility of Words: Or, God is Willing, Are We?

Recent events have again been trying. By the grace of God.

Writing here largely is about sharing whatever He's most recently revealed to me, almost always in terms of deliverance from long-standing (and even recently adopted) prejudices and misunderstandings and worldly reasonings. A lifelong process, this, and it seems that certain momentary bits of insight are still--clarion as they may be and revolutionary to thought, in each instance of revelation unto extrapolation--points of passage along a progressive path. Still, each bit only ever represents potential parts of the whole, as out-workings of ongoing striving unto a greater realization of the truth of who God is and what are His ways (even as to experientially know Him more intimately). In love, pursued--not a practical matter (though it's eminently practical to seek to know the Creator and Sustainer of life), nor a matter endeavored so to be more right, more correct, more adroit in comprehending and appropriating truth (though to truly come to know Him more intimately is to become increasingly more familiar with truth--as He is truth and things which aren't like Him pass away upon entering more deeply into His presence, as unto conformity to His nature).

But apt pursuit of Him is for the sake of love (i.e., the Greatest Commandment), although there are so many out-workings of such a pursuit considered desirable or good, in themselves: To love Him is to love truth. To love Him is to love others. To love Him is to love doing right. To love Him is to absolutely adore doing whatsoever would be pleasing to Him. Drawing nearer to Him pleases Him. To draw nearer to Him is to love Him more, as things which aren't like Him ever further pass away.

I don't know why things are cyclic, even like the prior essentially implies: drawing nearer to God (coming to know Him better) inspires greater faith, knowing Him better inspires deeper love for Him, loving Him more inspires desire to be more pleasing to Him (to obey Him: love Him, love others, do what's right, walk in faith), so the desire to be more pleasing inspires desire to have greater faith, and to come to greater faith we draw nearer to God.

I don't know why He's made things the way He has. I don't know why there's a continual process of striving, rather than arrival at a heart turned toward Him in love which remains fully emblazoned and impassioned to seek Him ardently without trial nor faltering. I don't fully know why He has made it so that there's such a struggle to remain ardently focused upon the truth of who He is, and why it's oft a struggle to maintain a heart undivided.

Except that I know He is good. And that all things work to good for those who are called by Him.

And, of myself, I know that my "way of being" is one which finds best fulfillment in having ruled out outliers--testing and retesting and testing again to ensure that the path being pursued is well and good and right. Testing all along the way to ensure the course isn't actually only a distraction or a detour from truth, from actual growth and progress. Because there have ever been minor points of distraction which lead to major points of error if pursued--all of life has been of that, and now that I am following truth in Christ...it's been no different, only within the realm of actual truth. There've continually been minor points of distraction, especially in terms of "doctrine," which deviate even if only slightly from the Spirit of God and His will...deviating so slightly as to seem initially innocuous. Although leading to some decidedly strange (id est, not of God) places, mentally and emotionally and spiritually. If taken according to my own understanding, alone, and even only taken according to a superficial assessment of Scripture...many of these particular (recent-ish) detours have been particularly insidious for having all appearances of rightness and goodness and wholesome intentions, especially. When what they've bred in my heart has been divisiveness, assuring my mind of its inherent abilities for maintaining conscious discernment of what is and isn't righteous.

So, all along the way, there's need of testing all things. I don't have to understand exactly what it is about certain doctrines that's actually the point of divergence--the Lord will most certainly explain these things to me, if I persist in asking Him on those points, especially. Whether through the work of others He's revealed them to, already, or through prayer and intense reading of Scripture. However--He does explain Himself to those who really want to know. To minor extents, at least, even as Scripture testifies to the truth of who He is and how and why He does what He does.

As far as being delivered from error goes, it's something that happens when the focus is on Jesus--not on man, nor on self. Also, being content to just sit in one place--in terms of relationship with God and depth of regard for Him--is definitely somewhat an option...but the more valid option is to persistently pursue Him to greater depths of knowledge and awareness and love and peace and deliverance and service and surrender and to all and sundry else which come by way of such pursuit of One who is eternal and gracious.

Put another way, "sitting still" seems odd (at best) when there's active opportunity to more intimately know the God of the universe.

And personally speaking, "sitting still" (aka, "resting on my laurels," "living off of yesterday's manna," etc.) leaves me in an apparent point of serious vulnerability: if I'm not actively pursuing something which is actually productive, it seems I'm always instead actually decomposing.

Either I'm progressing or regressing--there's never been a point of remaining "stationary" without some manner of madness cropping up as thoughts not actively engaged in attaining greater heights of awareness or understanding or satisfying curiosity...are not wont to remain inactive but rather becone increasingly disposed toward (increasingly) rancid amusements which ultimately lead to absolute, whole-hearted breakdown.

So, either I'm progressing and testing things all the while to ensure consistency with truth...or I'm faltering. And I don't recommend courting every single error on the planet just as to have first-hand knowledge of each, but being someone who's personally inclined to test the boundaries in all directions...there've been numerous boundaries crossed which need not have done, into error, and yet the Lord has had mercy on me. And not just mercy, but my appreciation for Him and my love for Him and my faith in Him has increased so much as a result of having it be more clearly evidenced, again and again and again, that it's only by grace that I'm not completely bonkers, and only by His grace that I'm not still laboring under even so many delusions as have tempted and even settled in, moment to moment, over course already of my active walk with Him, as a regenerated disciple.

For these reasons and many others, though, we're each responsible to discern truth in everything, according to the Holy Spirit's guidance--even our most respected and esteemed leaders of the faith were still human and not divine. Test all things. Not being suspicious or paranoid, either--trusting the Lord will give clarity, that He'll direct and deliver. But not being unwilling to hold up to the light of Scripture anything which causes a twinge of spiritual discomfort--that twinge may either be indication of need for repentance or of need for further clarification of a perhaps marginally twisted point of interpretation. We can trust Him to deliver us. We can trust Him to guide us. He will keep us, who are His. And yet we need to draw ever nearer to Him, all along the way, as temptations to err (even on the side of caution, quite frankly) are vast and insidious and seeking to trap us at every opportunity.

These are what's been seen by me, though. He is faithful. And I need Him. And I would be lost, except that He continually kept me. I'm not capable, in and of myself, of refraining from falling prey to all manner of deviations from His loving Spirit.

Perhaps it's the same, if to varying degrees and in varying ways, with all of us. Paul said we're none tempted except as is common to all of us.

And Peter also wrote that we're to have our faith tried in the fire, refined to become more valuable than gold. Jesus Himself even told John that we're to buy from Him riches which are of this kind...refined in fire.

So all the while, whenever we get to a point of thinking ourselves steadfast, bolstered against error--we're to be that much more vigilant, as such attitude evidences an aptitude to fall (pride comes before the fall, and self-reliance is an ostensibly prideful notion regarding spiritual pursuits). Those who believe they have things wholly ordered and rightly divided are the ones perhaps furthest from actually realizing the truth of our complete and utter reliance upon God's active and continual mercies and grace, is the thing. (None are worthy, but yet all are loved: He died for the world, that whosoever believes in Him would have the life of God.)

It's a difficult thing to the mind--having to accept personal incapacity, incapability, ineptitude: such as is our actual state, in terms of spiritual rightness. We're none of us in position to judge ourselves nor others, truthfully--all of us have had our vision clouded by the working of sin. Which is why we must open our lives to be judged by Scripture, by the living Spirit of God which interprets His Scripture to us--convicting us of sin, even as per viewing the truth of His goodness we're brought to repentance and into ardent desire to be conformed to Christ's will, to be led by Him in all righteousness, even for His Name's sake.

The problem, after all, is a matter of spiritual/mental/emotional righteousness--not of presenting a particular argument well, nor of acting consistently according to a way which seems right according to one's own understanding.

The problem, in terms of the general world/church view on this, though...is that we're just not capable of knowing or doing righteousness according to our own understanding, thus neither are we capable of maintaining it by our own strength, nor per the collective will of our highest earthly understandings. We just can't manage to be righteous before God, can't walk in a way that pleases Him. Not apart from Christ, that is.

That's another testament to our utter dependence upon Him in all things, such that we who are His will be led by His Spirit. Even as abiding in His love, as He did in the Father's.

As far as a "right exposition" of that particular matter goes (which is the same thing, put in two slightly different ways, as a matter to note)--if you can contrive to fully and inerrantly expound an explicitly spiritual matter in wholly carnal terms, according to understood methods of interpretation which aren't wholly and explicitly reliant upon God for the all, then you've deviated from the essence of what being led by the Spirit means even over the process of attempting to elaborate on the actual matter of being so led. (Except for grace, that is: His kindness is just incomprehensible, especially when contemplation our endless rebellions--His mercy overflows, despite the hardness of our hearts.)

Similarly to consider: Can you tell someone about your personal experience of the love of Jesus, and make such description itself be so explicit and encompassing as to effectively birth His love in their heart?

Or, likewise and yet "nearer to home," in terms of common carnal knowledge: Can you tell an aspiring-mother what the experience of loving a child is and have her wholly embody those principles unto an experiential knowledge of each which is apt, accurate...without her having yet conceived and birthed even long-desired child?

You could describe features and reasons and out-workings of these things all day, but except that there's actual, personal experience of them--individually embarked and possessed and continually endeavored--words will only ever fall far short of what the actual experience and process is regarding any matter which is emotionally and spiritually known to the exclusion of physical and mental comprehension. The carnal mind is enmity against God. Exclusively spiritual matters, then, cannot be wholly embarked unto comprehension by the carnal mind, or otherwise they're degraded into a shadow of what their true nature is, as to be so "comprehended." It's a matter of which is "larger," in a sense. "Can you fit a school bus into a (standard) telephone booth?"-sort of deal. Some things are a matter of knowing and thus trusting God, Himself. We don't dictate to Him. He's beyond us. Entirely. Yet He loves us and does things for us in ways we can't even begin to comprehend, except to know they're just so because He told us about them in terms we could somewhat understand.

Like as with the actual event of regeneration, even.

I could provide numerous details pertaining to the vast differences I've thus far noted and been able to comprehend between prior ways of life and what life is like now, in Christ: manners of thought, emotion, spirit, and habit changed and being changed.
I could provide details descriptive of how odd and futile were many prior ways of thinking--now realized as definitively, drastically different manners of being which are both intimately and trepidatiously remembered...yet blessedly no longer prevalently active.
I could give terms descriptive of progressive recognition of and adaptation to an increasing experience of peace and hope and love, unexpectedly become manifest upon witnessing Christ's own love displayed, desiring (in that very moment) naught else to do with sin while longing only for Him: Such difference wasn't express as all old habits of thought and act instantly and fully falling away...but a foreignness was unexpectedly experienced of all matters (disconcerting, to say the least), even as some matters of prior habitual normalcy became utterly inconceivable for continuation: alcohol consumption, for one--prior unable to stop drinking, unable to drink in moderation, craving it almost constantly...and then, inexplicable lack of desire for it, unto a fear of being trapped by it again (not expecting to have been able to stop drinking, finding it so...then fearing to fall back), now to a point of humbly hoping to be kept even from temptation to ever return to such bondage. Two years, now. Two years free, after many years of bondage. Self-made, but no less captive.

I could tell you about so many things that Jesus has freed me from, but that won't make you free--He alone can do that.

I could tell you so many things that He's shown me--the ways He's taught me, the trials He's carried me through, the things He's revealed of Himself in Scripture (such a blessed steadfast touchstone and help!--for growth and continuation and testing of all thoughts and impulses, along the way)...
...I could tell You what it's been to come to know Him--to remain constantly, increasingly aware of His presence in such a way as maintains peace in the midst of abject terror and utter panic (yes--directly opposed, and yet...it's been the case numerous times), and what it's been to come to know and increasingly love all those whom He's created, yet also to have particular compulsion toward those who similarly know Him and love Him.
...I could talk to you about His heart, His mind, His thoughts, and the love He has for all of us (even those who despise Him). I could tell you about His utter purity and absolutely incomprehensible goodness--loving indiscriminately despite being utterly despised, loving unmitigatedly despite being egregiously mocked, loving consummately despite being ripped to shreds, completely demeaned, and maliciously degraded by every means at our then-present disposal. I could talk to you about the steadfastness of His all-consuming love even while we attempted by all means to break Him, to destroy Him, to utterly crush Him, to completely and wholly subject Him to all the wrath we could muster, out of absolute derision and abject hatred and complete loathing of such goodness and mercy and love and unmitigated purity in Him as made wholly evident our own absolute wretchedness and wickedness and depravity (even what we consider "slight" deviations are egregious offenses against an infinitely good God).

I could talk to you about His longing that all would be reconciled to Him, in love. Through His sacrifice that made a way. He endured the suffering, the pain of sin, the wrath due...

...I could talk to you about how vast a suffering that was, is...of sin endured by the sinless for the sake of our salvation from it...couldn't say much, for being unable to bear to look full upon the suffering of One who deserves only love, devastated..devastating.

...I could talk to you about what desolation actually is, in terms of what it is to be fully without Him, without His love, as consciously in an "outer darkness" for moments which seem an eternity. Abject pain of inconsolable loss--inexpressible, incomprehensible, mind-numbing until light began again to dawn. A resurrection of hope, in Him.
...but I could tell you of a tormented groaning and gnashing of teeth, where many thusly strike against darkness to no avail: having rejected the light of Christ's love, the truth of His sovereignty, the opportunity for forgiveness freely given...darkness engulfs the soul.

No air, is the nearest approximation--like suffocation. As though there were no air without His indiscriminate love, without His ineffable mercies, without His sustaining grace. Without His love, there was nothing but pain, torment..suffering...blind loathing.. Nothing else. Blind despair.

His love sustains. It overcomes and covers a multitude of sins. And casts out fear, where love reigns. Love makes ways where there are no ways. And brings the dead to life.

So, having seem what it is to be without Him--only having regarded Him from afar and not sincerely enough as acknowledge Him and submit to His as Lord God--I was so lost. But seeing His love, experiencing His love for us--even such love as sees all the wickedness and vile rebellion my life has been...

He saw all matters of my disdain and loathing of Him and was more intimately familiar with the truth of them than I even now am, despite having been given a glimpse...despite continually now seeking further points which yet require repentance...

...seeing His love which led Him willing to suffer for my salvation--fully aware of my hatred, yet loving me no less--that broke me. Seeing His absolute willingness to endure the brunt of what I'd done (done against Him, even--yet He was willing to endure the shame, the pain, the punishment), so to free me from even my hatred of Him...seeing that--though I despised Him, He looked on me with love...

...and gave Himself in my place, that I could be free from the wretchedness I'd actually chosen.

...seeing all that, as made sin utterly horrific in that instant...

...I could talk to you at length about what it is to witness His love, to see His sacrifice, even (of a particular, explicit sort) to have the mind of Christ.

But words won't make these things real for you as they unexpectedly and assuredly became for me, in an instant--an instant which yet continues to flourish, in effect.

He can make the words real, though. And if the experiential truth of His love is to be real to anyone, then it's only by His direct intervention that it can be so.

Asking about what it means to "walk in the Spirit" is not entirely the same but very like asking what it is to experience (single-instance vs. ongoing) the love of God in one's own heart--these are not disengaged effects of having studied Christ and having a right theology (though those things are means which He certainly uses to draw unto Himself), but these are matters intimately and wholly originating from, with, of, and by the One whom such leading and such love focuses upon...as incited, sustained, and propelled entirely by Him, in all actuality.

Such that being led by the Holy Spirit is not by any means such an impersonal matter as would be potentially codified into broadly prescriptive determinations as would be applicable unto any or all such progressive, yet individually-unprecedented instances as do cumulatively constitute each person's life. Otherwise, if there were an outline to follow (i.e., a step-by-step "how to walk by the Spirit," "how to have faith"), we'd not be led by Him but by the outline. Seeking to outline things like this, we actually undermine what the effective process really is: coming to know God, Himself, thus coming to trust Him more fully, and in trusting Him more completely, walking with a greater faith/trust in what He's said, so trusting His directions.

But we want methodology because we want and crave self-sufficiency as opposed to reliance upon God: Our flesh ever wages a war to regain dominion...a battle oft attempted on the front of esteeming carnal understanding, so to exalt worldly understanding and fleshly wisdom as our prevailing source of security and direction.

So, as goes all things, then it's mercy we have to seek in order to be kept, directed, and sanctified. And trials do much to exercise our faith, forcing a greater, more conscious reliance upon Him. Our hope is in a living God, though--not in principles. And what gifts we have are from Him.

Where there's the love of God in one's heart, then He instills and maintains it. And likewise, if we're led by His Spirit, then it's His doing. We're opposed to Him from start to finish, otherwise, according to the workings of our own minds. But that's the whole deal about "being led"--we're not the one doing the leading. Ours is a submissive role. We're led when we're being subject to direct, active intervention of the One doing the leading, or otherwise we're not being led. Even as to walk by the Spirit is then actively being led by the Holy Spirit of God; otherwise, we're actually just doing our own thing, according to our own understanding, but maybe attributing it to Him.

But, again, His mercies are so incomprehensible that He even leads despite our blindness to His leading, despite our unwillingness often, and regardless of our lack of acknowledgment of divine intervention. Because it's all about what He's done, any way it goes.

Trials just help to clarify realization of how vast and encompassing are His mercies, when we will actually look to Him in the midst of them. Because they're going to come, regardless where we turn when they come. Even if the worst you ever face in life is a hangnail, then still, the manifest disease and devastation wrought by sin will still impact your life in some regard...even as death is eventual.

He offers peace, love, joy, hope, and comfort. He doesn't ask us to pretend to be something we're not. He doesn't ask us to act like we're on top of the world regardless of how much we're hurting, if we're despairing even of life.

No, He just wants us to trust Him in the midst of the storm, in the midst of the pain, in the middle of the darkest night. Because He can sustain us, even there. No matter how dark the night, no matter how painful the tragedy.

We don't have to pretend we're not hurting. We just need to admit and embrace the fact that we do hurt and that our need for Him is so much greater than our ability to keep ourselves afloat. Because no matter what else we figure out, we're not actually going to be able to defeat death.

We can mimic things. We have adapted a facsimile of the creation of life, even, in terms of many things like cloning, and various likewise techniques. But we didn't create life. You can't create what already exists, you can only mimic or modify.

Same as we're not actually capable of "deleting" something from existence. We might exterminate hundreds of species from the planet, might drive them to extinction...but they won't have ceased to ever exist, they won't have ceased to have been, only to no longer walk among us. And with death, even as cellular die off is a constant fact of life, then the ending of life for each organism is no different. We may modify things, find "work-arounds," as it were...in a sense...but we won't have eradicated the "problem." Because we'll never be the Creator.

We can't be in control of those things which we did not create and cannot destroy. We cannot be God. It's just a fact of nature. Created beings will only ever be created beings, no matter what we might attempt otherwise--we can still only operate within the limits of our ordained being.

Which is where being led by the Spirit is such a vital matter, in terms of seeking conformity to Christ--the implication therein, still, is that there's a divide. Either be led by the Spirit or not. And if not, we're walking according to something else, then.

But who is in a higher position, as to know what's right and good and necessary, even if a thing seems incomprehensible? God is, is who. Our perspective is just too limited.

We can't figure everything out.

Because we're not God, Holmes.

And it's taken me basically 20 years to come back around to that realization, only on the other side of the fence, now. When it first became clear to me, I utterly despaired and absolutely despised the fact of that truth. Because the only way to know fully well whether all things are right and good and true and consistent is to have sufficient context as to accurately weigh and consider each and the all against all and the sundry.

In other words, the only way to be absolutely certain of knowing absolutely anything...is either to know absolute truth absolutely...or to know all things and thus be positioned so as to attempt unprejudiced discernment of what is right and what is good, what is well-ordered and what is false. Either to know, absolutely. Or to have sufficient context--all knowledge--as to be equipped to judge.

Because knowing partial amounts of truth only equips sufficiently to be partially equipped to discern between those particular matters most familiar...as to operate only within such context as is adequately known sufficiently to operate effectively according to what circumstances necessitate. But you wouldn't call a plumber (who, in this example, has no knowledge of combustion engines) to help you work on a diesel engine. And you would seek advice on baking chocolate chip cookies from an architectural engineer who never cooks and doesn't want to learn.

There's expertise of a sort, but within specific realms of knowledge. And while there are vast overlaps in overt mechanism, there's such differentiation that makes impossible the extrapolation of entire principles of operation from one specific realm unto another effectively in such instances as those cited. Ask a quantum physicist who happens to dislike urban living to point you to the best restaurant in Manhattan, without simultaneously allowing them the opportunity to "phone a friend" or "ask Google," and you get the point. One thing doesn't lead to knowledge of the others. And similarities in function don't equate to explicit similarities in active, practical form.

Not to say that it's impossible to deduce information. But not without proper context.

That's like walking in the Spirit. Being led by the Holy Spirit.

He knows things we don't.

Like...why did He keep Paul out of Asia and send him to Macedonia, at that one point? Do you know? I don't, but He does.

And He restrained them from preaching in Asia. He knows why. Which basically means that we don't have to, but we need to know Him well enough to be able and willing to heed His explicit, individual direction.

Which isn't necessarily always going to make sense to the physical world nor to the carnal mind. Or, maybe never--He alone knows what He wills of each of us. But we can know it's all for good.

Trying to argue against there being individual direction, explicit unto each, on this count...ultimately would undermine the utility of prayer, too, just as a head's up. You can't attack bits and pieces just because they're difficult to accept and impossible to explain or understand. Having God's perspective on it all, in truth and in full would be the only sustainable perspective from which to argue such a claim and have any hope of doing so without undermining the entirety of Scripture, simultaneous.

Trust is trust, any way you want to attempt to reinterpret what trust entails.
Faith is a matter of having been convinced we can trust God. Which, first off, requires you actually know He exists. It's not a blind thing, is the point of it all--it's in a living, active God.

And He's willing to make Himself known. He said so throughout all of Scripture in so many ways. And, Scripture itself, is an absolute testament to that fact.

Either seek to know Him or don't...but we'll all come face to face with Him, either way.

Enough, for now.