Love and Truth

This attached quote/pic seems very much to speak to a core concern regarding so many things. It def was the point of contention which used to absolutely enrage me in consideration of what I perceived to be Christianity, at least.

In order to legitimately continue to follow Jesus Christ as a disciple, there's implicit requirement that utmost credence be give to the singular matter He said was absolutely vital to rightly-doing all things else: The Greatest Commandments are about love, thus deeming love the focal point for utmost ardent study and prayerful pursuit.

Makes sense to me, anyway. I've prayed about it. And read. A lot. Because my life has definitely been--and still is--riddled by a host of unloving things done against God, against others, and also against myself. So, for love to be the greatest call, the highest calling, THE commandment of commandments--it has to be taken seriously and seriously endeavored, especially having so consistently failed. Only and explicitly by the grace of God, even now, is love being learned and embodied, to any and increasing extent.

So, this past year, I've really been striving to know what love actually is--because if I'm somehow going to manifest something, it seems reasonable that I probably need to have some basic idea what it actually is, even as to recognize it...at the very least. This, in the recent past, has progressively evolved into what is now a study of what it means to embody a love which is neither self-seeking nor even self-concerned (nor self-demeaning/self-deprecating, though, to note: an entire other consideration which would take many words, also).

This is legit, though: The pursuit of actual, God-seeking and people-serving love is intense. A big thing. The biggest. The following bit of writing is brief reflection which touches on various points of consideration along this recent way, while some of the most immediately following bits are almost excerpted straight from Scripture. Which--another thing that's proven rather frustrating (exciting) to find over course of this pursuit, as a whole, is that reading through excerpts or passages or even the whole doesn't ever provoke total comprehensive grasp of the breadth of intent and meaning. This, especially as each bit of writing is always both distinctly and also contextually meaningful--within immediate context plus also within the entirety.

Thus, absolutely every topic requires a lot of focused study, ongoing meditation even upon related concepts, and pursuit unto both immediate and contextual understanding--explicit, implicit, and conceptual. So, each unto the next, as any meaning is further grasped it allows for a broader contemplation of other matters which are yet tangentially related across the span of the all--each revelation is ever unto further revelation and broader understanding of both parts and the whole.

It took four years to get to a point where anything whatsoever even started to make any sort of comprehensible, actual sense--of any of Scripture. And even now--an additional two years in--certain topics are only beginning to make sense, even as oft in such a way as only clearly indicates depths of meaning which are yet further beyond immediate grasp, regarding related topics: Studying, while ever being directed unto what to study.

Just to say: All of this...is very time consuming, but whatever. It's fascinating. And if the last year's worth of effort in this direction is any indication, I'll probably be studying and learning love and what it means to love...at least for the rest of my life, without ever beginning to actually exhaust that particular thread.

Love, though...
Love is not fearful, anxious, nor arrogant, but is trusting, patient, hope-filled, and steadfast. Love serves others rather than seeking to serve itself. Love doesn't mock differences, even as steadfastly refraining from being compromised. Love admits wrongs, seeks peace, desires to walk in compassion--all without forsaking or compromising truth. Love might not agree nor condone, but it's not easily angered and it is enduringly kind. Love speaks truth as best can ever be done, always for the sake of loving God and others more than self.

Many things to learn, to become. But by grace: Vital necessities. So, the Lord's helping me figure it all out, step by step--despite chaos attempting to interfere or dissuade, fair constantly. Eh. smile emoticon

Love is the greatest commandment, is all: 1) Love God absolutely, 2) Love others selflessly. Everything else which is righteous and good proceeds out of the state of being required as to attain unto and embody each of these to any true and increasing degree. Such love intrinsically requires essential self-denial so to embody the implicit selflessness foundational unto development of each: Love entails an active pursuit of the good of another, which inherently requires concertedly turning away from expending resources (of emotional, mental, physical, financial means or whatever else) unto self. Basic economics: limited resources exist, if you use them on one thing, you no longer have them to use on something else. Love is as that, in a way: Acting to pursue God and to pursue the good of someone other than self turns that same energy and ardency away from what would any-otherwise be pursuit of in-anywise-exclusive-of-God-and-others self-interest. Love isn't self-seeking, so anything which purports to be "love" which is inherently concerned with self-gratification, self-interest, or self-indulgence...isn't love of God or of others, but is selfishness. There are only the two--selfish or selfless. ("To be or not to be?," in a sense, yah.)

Thereabouts seems to lie the heart of the paradox of our condition--an enigma of subjectively seeking transcendence unto objectivity, as unto realm of an absolute, so as to actually love. And there is a Way, but it's difficult to discern: Self-consumption and the cares of the world make it nearly impossible, is all, except for grace: Deliverance from self is required.

One major distraction along that course is that there are so many purported means unto and as to love which don't espouse inherent, explicit requirement of self-denial as part of loving. But, again, any purported love which turns to seek its own comforts and security rather than 1)pursuing God's will as 2)unto the good of others...actively asserts self to an actual exclusion of truly loving either God or others. Self-exaltation is not loving, for actively exalting self at the expense of otherwise endeavoring to love God, which would overflow unto actual love of others. (Any love which neglects truth isn't love but indulgence: Love seeks true, actual good of a beloved. The source of any actual truth must ultimately be an absolute. A Creator of all which exists must ultimately be the absolute fount of any truth which is actual. Where there is purported truth, if it has deviated from the absolute trith sufficient to anywise contradict the absolute, it has erred and is no longer actual. Discovery of the absolute is necessary as to discern actuality of purported derivatives. Likewise, in order to pursue any actual good, there's requirement of knowing actual truth regarding what's being endeavored. The only way to know is to work from the absolute--without the existence of absolutes, nothing could be established as true. And if nothing could be established as true, then something must be true, as "nothing is true," must be either true or false--either of which constitutes an absolute, indicating the existence of absolute truth. So, if anything at all is a truth, then there's an absolute from which it has derived. .. Absolutes establish whether a purported truth is actually true, of whether purported good is actual good, of whether love is actual love. Now, as goes actual acceptance of truth, even proven true?...that's an entirely different beast: something about free will.)

So-called self-love, though--concerted self-indulgence--isn't actually love. It's empty exaltation, actively distracting from a pursuit of truth, as at the simultaneous expense of loving God, which likewise constitutes having actively chosen to neglect the actual good of all. Which isn't loving. Love seeks to do good, never to even unintentionally harm or encourage harm of others. Nor perhaps even to silently observe such harm.

It's painful...difficult...to look in the mirror and see these things are the case: Difficult, to see that a constant desire for comfort and self-preservation and good reputation mitigates and diminishes and actually degrades and compromises my pursuit of and action according to truth, thus even besmirching the love of God and likewise also compromising my love for others. It's very hard to acknowledge and accept that consistent self-seeking and self-indulgence doesn't do me nor anyone else any favors, but only builds and reinforces walls that have long trapped me in a prison of my own making, even blocking God's love and love from others from unmitigatedly entering in.

Touching base with others along the way in guarded fashion never comprehensively worked a restorative good, on the whole: Such guarded love often did sincerely and blessedly preserve from utter despair, but yet had no power to fully deliver from desolation...and while it oft blessedly and sincerely afforded glorious moments of sanctuary in the midst of both friends and family, it never provided peace which lastingly permeated the core of isolation.

Momentary flashes of light do graciously brighten a room, as moments of camaraderie do truly warm unto compassion--even engendering actual, selfless love whenever self is completely forgotten in the midst of a truly open interaction. But as soon as self-regard returns in any way, the curtain falls and the light fades. And, then, there had always been a matter of remaining so far removed from God (largely per a semi-conscious refusal to even attempt to approach Him on His own terms, having ever been hurt by the church--become indignantly insistent upon charting my own path to His truths) that such similar-effect blockades against Him kept His love and peace away, nearly always.

Now, the cares of the world still often obscure awareness of Him-- whenever any-present concern for self emerges, it diminishes the embracing warmth of His love unto me (incomprehensibly, loving Him any-truly and ardently is to be likewise encompassed by the warmth of His love).

To love self or seek to exalt self--rather than graciously receiving whatever comes, while seeking to love, selflessly--occludes the possibility of love, like a curtain fallen against the morning light.

A vicious cycle. Needing deliverance.

Actual need is for kindling a constant, blazing fire in the hearth, though. We, none, have the proper tinder, but have to seek for it. Asking without ceasing, moreover.

I never even realized all this was so dire a problem--and has been, over all the many years of my life--until now and recently. I'm just going to continue praying for further deliverance, is all. The Lord has proven faithful to do these things, again and again: He's done so much already. Through death, hell, and the fire...preserved and delivered.

Just to love.

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

 If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

 Love never dies.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8

(crossposted)