By God's Grace

I will trust the Lord. I don't understand His ways, except to have borne witness of His goodness and His power. He evidences these again and again. In so many ways.

He evidences His love to me, in so many ways. Even in ways which utterly devastate me, for the incomprehensibility of being loved and cherished. So unworthy, so undeserving, yet so overwhelmed and full of joy to be loved by Him.

And...the cross. The cross He bore says it all. If not for love, He could have at any moment chosen for the pain and humiliation to end--love of the Father and love of us held Him. For the sake of the Father and for our sakes, whom He bought and redeemed--salvaged from sin into relationship with Him--He endured. Love and power sufficient to overcome death.

I want to speak in terms of "always" and "never" so often, regarding my own tendencies and experiences, but...the truth is somewhere in between, more generally. And I tried so many wretched things, prior to surrendering to Christ--attempting to find peace and meaning. I returned to Him, only after finding all else empty...and upon fear of death. 

He's been teaching me that it's not necessary (nor good, as it turns out) to run the gamut, attempting to discover every single aspect of a situation from the outset, in general. Rather, then, I'm learning to trust the Lord more fully and just go where He would lead. Regardless of fear. He keeps me still, in suffering. He gives me a song, in the midst of terror. 

To be open, to be honest, though? That, He's also teaching. It's a rare blessing, even when it hurts. But sometimes it's cause for joy, too. 

I just hope and pray that the Lord will continue to help me with these things--with trust, with hope that doesn't dishonor Him, and with honesty even in difficult situations where it means a long period of struggle as to align with God's will. I know He will help, though, because He's willing and it's what He does. 

Psalm 343O magnify the LORD with me,
            And let us exalt His name together.
      4I sought the LORD, and He answered me,
            And delivered me from all my fears.
      5They looked to Him and were radiant,
            And their faces will never be ashamed.
      6This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
            And saved him out of all his troubles.
      7The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him,
            And rescues them.
      8O taste and see that the LORD is good;
            How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
      9O fear the LORD, you His saints;
            For to those who fear Him there is no want.