Abiding in Christ--oh, the joy of perpetual sanctuary!

So, this. To write about this. This, which is. And which is the only thing which has made life possible, whatsoever. ...the only thing which makes it desirable.

The only thing which gives breath to life, and life to thoughts, and thought to words, words to the breath which is life.

For months now, this is what has so utterly transfixed thought as to utterly still it into submission, given as the state of being exists so far beyond logic as to wholly stymie any attempt it begins as to unravel that which is.

So, then to ask, how can one even speak of such a thing with any clarity, if logic stands utterly destroyed before the reality of that which is?

Being given words--as before...given breath, to live...given life, to think...given thought, unto words...then, given words, as unto that which is the breath of life.

There's yet so much which perpetually seeks to destroy that blessed accord. So, so much. External thoughts which come, seeking to distract from it. Not nearly so many of them at present, no--they come and go, sometimes coming in like a flood, all at once and so numerous in the mounted assault that one would wonder at how to keep one's head above water so to breath...except that the blessed accord is that which raises a standard against them, maintaining peace within the direst storm so long as shelter is continually sought within that abiding accord, to then driving them all away.

Back into repose, then, and always deeper--resting in the peace which abides unto love. Resting always in that blessed peace, that blessed love, that blessed clarity which eradicates all which otherwise seeks to destroy.

The Lord has been so good. He IS good. And always will be.

I can't describe the inexplicable, but can give it utterance. That's the distinction which bears greatest mention, apparently, even as it's not something which can be understood without suspending logic just a bit.

One core component thereof has come by way of that which is our reasonable service.

Three things given which were vital meditations, as experienced even if not having been read yet, at the outset of this all having come to an ever deepening, ever more vital, ever more real and wholly truthful fellowship with the Lord, Himself...as realized communion with the Holy Spirit...as Paul spoke of to so many, so often.

He has led me into all of this, is all. Absolutely, from the outset--otherwise, I'd have never desired fellowship, except that He put that desire in my heart. I would have never desired to know Him, except that He made me capable of such a desire and led me in a way which revealed the consistency of that particular desire into knowledge per understanding/comprehension.

And, as He says: Freely you have received, freely give.

No one except those whom He has foreordained to know Him may do so, even as many who are foreordained as to be saved may yet be completely in bondage and utterly stricken away from both knowledge and desire for Him as He is...unto that salvation which He brought, the redemption of the world through propitiation for our sins. And He is rightly, justly due those whom He had so redeemed through higher price than ever could have been conceived to be paid, except that it was His merciful and righteous design, transcending comprehension per such holiness and majesty and grace and power as exceeds human reason.

It is ALWAYS enough to know that, even in not knowing, yet HE does know. And always has, and always will. As it has ever been truly written of Him, even betimes directly on His behalf, and as it truly is.

But, yes, these following things were given repeatedly unto meditation, along the course. Attempt has been made to edit as to relay the way they read, and ever have read, in heart and mind--emphasis added is representative of the emphasis received while reading. This, even as emphasis shifts time to time and has consistently exceeded onto things which aren't restricted to Scripture.

These which follow, though, have all been "given repeatedly to meditation" meaning they've been sporadically brought to mind continually for months. Every time they come to mind, compulsion to  dwell upon each has simultaneously arisen.

Zephaniah 2:3 - Amplified Bible

SEEK THE LORD [inquire for Him, inquire of Him, and require Him as the foremost necessity of your life], all you humble of the land who have acted in compliance with His revealed will {and} have kept His commandments; seek righteousness, seek humility [inquire for them, require them as vital]. It may be you will be hidden in the day of the Lord's anger.

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Matthew 6
34 So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.

30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and green and tomorrow is tossed into the furnace, will He not much more surely clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear?

32 For the Gentiles (heathen) wish for and crave and diligently seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows well that you need them all.

33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Philippians 4:6Amplified Bible (AMP)

 Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition ([a]definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.

Luke 10
27And he answered, "YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."

Proverbs 3

5TRUST IN THE LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

6in ALL your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.^a

5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Psalm 46
10Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

...and those are just a few. Not that they're entirely ingrained in memory, aside of a few. Just...every time the gist would come to mind, there would be the compulsion to read it as recorded. Again and again, and again, until things started to make sense.

There've been a series of choices, is all. As is the case with anything.

No one who was born into a middle class family just wakes up one day a millionaire. Just doesn't happen. A series of choices are involved, which culminate unto mass changes.
Whereas, even if (in this horridly secular/fleshly example) someone becomes a millionaire "overnight" via lottery winnings or lawsuit settlement or any such--still, a series of choices enacted culminate in the "progress." The choice to buy the ticket. The choice to hire a lawyer. The choice to start a business and devote every hour to ensuring its success. The choice to plan. The choice to pursue a "personal goal."

The thing is...no matter what a person perceives as their "long term" choice/goal, every day onward constitutes further culmination toward that end. Even if the daily choices amount to "being lazy" or "cultivating knowledge" or "saving lives" or "watching television," still...each choice contributes to the whole of what a person's life is...and, just as much as it's the case on an hour-by-hour basis, it's every bit as much the case on a year-by-year basis, a decade-by-decade basis, and so on.

Further, though--no matter how intricately wrought our plans are, no matter how broad and how deep our insight into the future nor how vast our ability to manipulate circumstances...there is not a person on this earth who can control for every factor, nor who was exercise complete dominion over the way every single detail which comes to pass in a moment cumulatively plays out. No matter how many people we have working for us, even...regardless of how vast the global-scale of our dominion and observation and control. Not a one on this earth has the ability to exercise control to such an extent that any one of us can anticipate every potential eventuality, as to even be adequately prepared...let alone be able to so masterfully control how things play out, as they manifest, individually, societally, or globally as to truly be in control of circumstances. No matter how vast your domain, even perceived as over your personal terrain...you can't even control for every thought which might seek entry to your mind, except as to decide which to cherish, which to entertain, which to banish, which to maintain.

And I know this next is likely going to sound very odd, unless you've actually experienced it...

...if you're thinking in all directions at all times, even, you still can't wholly control where things will come from and to what end they'll go, unless you actively take a stance in discerning origin and directing flow. But, again, therein it's a matter of response. Not a matter of control.

And the whole deal with being "open to the universe" in that sort of way? I learned the hard way that it will cost you. Your sanity, for one--if you're basically operating as a "net" which filters the "waters" of whatever's going around...you end up snagging some seriously heinous stuff, sometimes, just as a part of the process. And the worst thing in that ever occurring is that the most heinous of those things are the ones which present themselves as wholly good and wholly right and completely beneficial...even going so far as to offer a really jaundiced version of peace and "spiritual prosperity."
 Some even offer material prosperity, too, actually. There's a LOT of that going around, apparently.

Point being, apparently, that you can achieve states of "enlightenment" which are false positives. I know, for having tread there, in various of them, for many years. Only...there's this thing that's always been a driving force, within, which just refuses to cease striving for greater revelation of truth.
Nothing has ever been able to quell it, although walking in the Spirit keeps me satisfied.

Yet hungering and thirsting for more, even as always satisfied.

However, though, this very same driving force has always meant that...past a certain point, all those other false positives started to fall apart under the force of continued pursuit. There would be a certain point achieved, then a moment wherein dissatisfaction would come, as no matter which direction was then looked upon...no greater height was perceived, for pursuit. No greater trial, unto further revelation. Nothing more, just more of the same.

Please don't mistake me--all of those many divergences in pursuit were wholly an abomination. That's known beyond the frames of comprehension, now.

And, even this...desire for more...this longing for an eternity of greater revelation? I can no more explain it to you or where it came from than I can explain to you why the wind is. All I can do is describe what it seems to feel like, using words which are prompted into thought.

All I can do is tell you about grace and reinforce the fact that God is good and that He is more real than You and I could ever even begin to comprehend. And that His ways and thoughts are beyond our ability to conceive of even the vastness of separation from our own...and that they are holy, they are good, and they are from everlasting to everlasting.

Point of being is that there's so much more than you and I could ever conceive of, which goes on constantly all around, within, and about us...and that it's all so finely wrought and intricately interwoven with all else which is that we would be utterly destroyed into a permanent paralysis of thought if we were to even glimpse only the true breadth for just a moment--let alone even the height, width, and depth. I don't understand these things, but know them.

But it's not my place to understand, as I'm ever reminded. I don't need to understand, is the thing. What I need to do...is to trust. And just acknowledge Him in all my ways, always. He has it all in hand, after all. Oh, thank You, Lord...that's such a big relief, not to feel compelled to worry about understanding all the world and all creation, any longer. Just...relying on the fact that I know the Creator, and He knows all about everything. And He lets me know what I need to know, when I need to know it.

Not that I never goof up, no. I'm still learning. I'm still growing into complete conformation to His will...as my most ardent desire. To do His will. Whatever it may be, whether it kills me or entails suffering or howsoever it goes--none of that matters, given that I know that His grace is always sufficient. Every time I've suffered, He's sustained me and kept me from succumbing. To the extent that sometimes even physical pain is suspended from experience.

Again--I don't understand any of what my life has been, except to know that it's wholly a testament to His incomprehensible mercy, His insurmountable grace, and His absolute glory.

Things are just increasingly different, now. Constantly. On a daily basis, except for when distraction is entertained and succumbed to--wholly my loss, though, to ever succumb...the joy of growing in the Lord exceeds any hope of satisfaction to such a degree that it's continually astonishing to experience, thus always an increasingly desirable course. A matter of always being satisfied AND always longing for more--a paradoxical state which has no compare and is desirable above all things.

Just to know Him. And to be known by Him. His Presence...His constantly abiding Presence...is the air I breathe and the only thing worth knowing. HE is the ONLY person/thing/experience worth knowing/having/pursuing. Even as, abiding in/with/per Him...all others become truly loved and the joy known in desiring to serve them can only eclipsed by the joy of actually serving.

And I'm still growing in those ways. Daily, as He leads me.

The choices, though...

...I can describe in detail to you the thoughts, actions, reactions, and developments which have charted and marked my own course to this point. However, I can't definitively say that the course which was mine will be even nearly akin to that which was anyone else's. I can't say that what worked for me will work for you. All I can tell you is that...if you want it enough, if you desire true knowledge of Him sincerely, if you yearn for true fellowship with Him consistently unto constantly...

...you will receive. Period.

I don't know when. I don't know how. I don't know in what way your deepening knowledge of Him will manifest, nor in which direction, nor to what end.

But I do know that if you seek after Jesus Christ, He will answer you. Seek after the true Christ as recorded in the Bible, is all. There are those who are presently attempting to deceive the world, claiming a variation yet upon His holy name as for themselves. Many in the churches, these days.

This, though...is why the Bible is so vital, if/when it IS available as a resource. Granted, the Lord is completely capable of doing anything and everything...He always has been, always will be sovereign and omnipotent...so, if He so desires, He could and may disciple some folks who don't have access to the Bible. He's been doing so in Middle Eastern countries for a few years, now--without even the intervention of evangelists/missionaries, He's been revealing Himself to Muslims in the truth of who He is and saving their souls and discipling them howsoever He's been doing so...for a few years, now. Strictly as a work of the Holy Spirit, He's been manifesting His glory to folks who not only don't have Bibles but who would be killed for getting one.

That...is completely different from where we stand, you and I. Reading this, right now, means you have unrestricted access to a variety of resources on the internet. the Bible being one

He will not excuse us from utilizing those things He puts at our disposal as a means of drawing nearer to Him, so long as it's His will to exercise utility through particular objects/resources.

Just...He can speak through anything. He can/does speak directly as an internal witness. He can/does speak through both the saved and unsaved. He can/does speak through anything and everything, as He so wills. And He has an established record of having chosen to speak through certain people, over the course of creation. Certain of whom bore written record of His Word.

The catching point thereabouts has always been that...words are only words, lest He should animate them. Dust is only dust, lest He breathe life. And especially in the context of Scripture...unless the Holy Spirit guides reading and guides interpretation--consciously so or not, to the reader...unless He does so, the words will be lifeless and without depth or breadth. Unless the Holy Spirit has breathed life into the spirit of the person reading, then breathing life into their ability to comprehend His meaning...the Bible will seem dry and lifeless and without meaning.

I know this for having attempted to read it prior to conversion. I know this for having (later than the immediately preceding mention of a point in time) disciplined myself to read and reread parts of Scripture, prior to being converted. It was like chewing on straw. Tasteless, lifeless..."merely" a rather tedious book with an entirely controversial history.

I remember that. But it's entirely different, now.

And I couldn't tell you when it changed, because I'd been clinging to it as respite for a couple of years before anything ever started to make sense...I just KNEW that there was always an incomprehensible peace come from reading, increasingly so as time passed. Whereas initially it was a nuisance adopted as a means of conforming myself to what was internally deemed an expected thus required portion of adopting Christian faith...I read and forced myself to read because I'd prayed the prayer out of terror for my life and terror over the depravity of the life I was leading...I forced myself to read, because the terror insisted that I absolutely had to be saved and I knew that being saved meant that a person read the Bible, so I HAD to read the Bible.

Only, again...there's so much to everything. One simple decision doesn't generally an entire life make, although...sometimes it does. In my case, it took years for conversion to occur. It took years, I say, because it was in June 2010 that I said the prayer. But it wasn't until this recent spring that anything in the Bible became utterly alive to me. And it wasn't until this recent spring that I started finding sin completely disgusting and fearful and intolerable for myself...even as there's still so much temptation, and so many failings which run periodic even as decreasing in frequency.

There have been so many, many contributing factors.

Which, just as much as reading the Bible was a course taken after "praying the prayer," so was...a weird sort of sidelong praying. I knew I was supposed to pray, but didn't at all feel comfortable doing it even privately...yet knew it was something that "had to happen" in a Christian. So, I "prayed." And I don't know how often it was--probably just during particularly strange circumstances. Moreso, there was just this weird sort of backwards glance at God that was ongoing. Like...I'd say things to people and tag on "Thank God," or tell them to be blessed, without mentioning God but feeling as though He was kind of implied and that it was a safe way to go.

I talked at Him, whenever I did "pray." I didn't talk to Him, though. Kind of like...say, if you were standing in a public restroom, beside someone at the vanity/mirror...and you don't know one another, so you don't greet one another...and there's a restroom attendant...and that other person is not going anywhere, but you're finished...and the attendant is looking at you, standing between you and the door really...so you just say something to them in passing, out of guilt maybe tossing a quarter into their tip basket...and you rush out. Very awkward it was, in other words. Forced.

And when it was actually talking "to" Him, there was nothing except desperation and fear and pain and begging for all the many earthly comforts. Never asking Him for anything of Himself. Never asking Him anything, except when it suited my entirely self-seeking and shallow needs/wants/desires/concerns.

And I went to church. To a place (places) where there I experienced supernatural peace and comfort and...conviction, eventually, of a sort. Even though the whole time, at first, it was a matter of knowing I was supposed to go...it turned into something compelling, in and of itself, to hear the Bible spoken in ways which never made sense during personal attempts to read...and it gave me hope. There was a compulsion to going to church. Praising became something real, very very gradually. And it got to the point where the only place I ever experienced any degree of abiding peace was at church or while listening to sermons...even just reading the Word didn't go so deep, for so long.

But everything changed, this recent spring.

Everything.

He became real in a way never experienced before. In the midst of complete calamity--total mental, physical, emotional devastation...trust in Him came to fore. Then, increased desire to be in church. Then, desire to read of Him...and something happened, wherein Bible verses started to stick in my mind with veracity and insistence. Certain ones just leapt up from nowhere, sporadically. And I'd dwell on them, becoming more and more curious of them...of what they meant, of how they fit in to my own life--surely they had to, or they wouldn't have been on my mind, was the thought. And prayer changed completely. Prayer changed most drastically in May. After going to listen to a pastor, hearing him talk about something done in another church one time--how, after hearing the entire church "testify" in such a way that everyone was further depressed at how hopeless and completely downtrodden they all were...he set a chair in front of the congregation, in the middle of the chapel...and told them to imagine Jesus sitting there...then asked them what they wanted to say to Him about what He'd been doing in their lives.

He said they completely changed their testimony, glorifying Him.

...just, hearing all that...driving the hour back to where I was staying it crossed my mind that if the pastor could do that in a church, to such effect...why couldn't I also imagine Jesus riding passenger in the car with me?

And I did. And...at that point...I couldn't speak His name. It was too uncomfortable, still...even though I longed to be able to--it pained me not to be able to. I wanted to speak to Him, though. So, imagining Him in the vehicle with me, I just spoke to Him as though He were there, asked Him if there was anything else I could call Him. My mind went to a book my mom used to have...one I'd read and enjoyed, years ago, and hadn't thought of in decades. By Girzone. Joshua. And...then it came to mind...Yeshua.

At which point I completely freaked out and totally clammed up. Because, first off, I remembered hearing that the Joshua books were supposed to be a "type" of Jesus. But...I didn't know Yeshua from anywhere which was openly recollected. I couldn't identify where it came from, in other words.
I don't remember it being in the books. And I don't remember reading Yeshua anywhere. And I definitely don't remember ever prior relating that name to Jesus.

I had no recollection of hearing the word before, especially not in such a way as to have such a vivid and certain impression of it in my mind in regard to asking the Lord if there was anything else I could call Him. So, given paranoia being what it was (now there's not paranoia, but there is constant discernment--no anxiety required, just trust and hope and desire for truth)...I held that all out at arm's length and refused to go any further. Terrified that it had come from somewhere that might not add up. Terrified that the name had come from something other than Christ...and knowing, given experience, that there are so many, many things that want to speak to a person and tempt them into false security and false revelation...false peace and false salvation..

Knowing that, given some of the thoughts that had come, completely unbidden and similarly out of nowhere yet with insistence of their own...so many thoughts that had been attacking for the years prior to this instance in May, and the only way they'd been kept from taking over and becoming "real" to me was that I was terrified by them and kept them at arm's length...because there was always something, enticing though so many of them were...there was always something which just knew they were wrong, and increasingly did that awareness come to fore as those attacks had persisted.

But...I was afraid to trust what I'd heard.

So, as soon as I got "home"...researched. And...Yeshua HaMashiach....was His Hebrew name, from what all seems. Whether the tranliterated spelling is apt or not is largely inconsequential in terms of knowing Him, really...

But...it had been some point in the two months prior to that evening that another, equally significant development had occurred. And I'm not sure whether it was in March or in April. If April, then April 13th. If March, then likely either the 23rd or 30th. One of those three days, most likely. And, given all else which happened in April in such rapid succession...I really have to wonder that it was the 13th of April.

Either way, largely irrelevant except as a distracting point of curiosity which need be laid to rest.

Church had been sought, already. After giving in to beginning to trust in God above myself, in January...things changed slowly. But a desire to return to church and to listen to solid exposition on the Bible and about God and to spend time in the Presence of the Lord...all that came back, with increasing strength. Until I couldn't resist any longer. I had to go. had to

And did. On either the 23rd or 30th of March. Gladly. And...whether it was that service or the next one, or one of the two after that...there was communion one day, after one of the services. A different method of communion--two tables set up, a church elder at one, the pastor at the other...after service, everyone who wanted to then got in one of the lines and simultaneously received communion and prayer for whatsoever needs existed. I remember, I asked the pastor to pray for my need for direction...and maybe to be able to receive direction in obedience...and maybe for the ability to hear and understand the Lord... ...whatever it was, he prayed we would both receive it. And, while he was praying for me, I felt the Presence of the Lord come down...and, this yearning desperation just arose within me, longing to always be able to feel His Presence...and I asked Him, without words yet in words, for precisely that.

His Presence remained. And...just...my mind was completely awestruck. Humbled. It was just too precious, too wonderful, too peaceful, too loving, too good...and yet it was as it was. ...and almost immediately, certain things were noted as...lessening the degree to which His Presence was experienced. Certain conversation, certain responses which arose within me to conversation, certain things read, watched, listened to...altered the experience. Like...for instance...I used to still periodically like to switch from the Christian radio station to pop radio stations...to hear new tunes, some of which were "catchy." And, I used to still put on the iPod playlist with songs which I'd liked to sing along with. But...doing that equated to something like...internal sandpaper, now--like fingernails across a chalkboard...initially, just a mild, abiding discomfort was all I was able to perceive. But...I noticed that...if I just sat through that discomfort...if I just stayed with it and listened despite the discomfort...eventually, the discomfort would abate. But so would the experience of His Presence.

And I'd have to shut off whatever had been the source of discomfort. And pray. And listen to Christian music and praise alongside, to Him. And read the Bible...which had taken on a completely new flavor, abiding in His Presence.

Everything looked new, though. Being outside, hearing the bird songs, feeling the warmth of the sun, praising Him for the warmth of interaction with others at work, and glorying in the ability to praise Him all the while...? Everything was completely different. Utterly different.

Especially the cross. No longer was it just a symbol of Christianity. The cross represented my Savior's sacrifice for me. It represented His unwavering love. It represented His unspeakable torment. And it represented the horror of realization that He suffered separation from the Father because of my sins, just so that I could be saved. ...the absolute desolation and despair of knowing that He suffered so incomprehensibly...because of all the wretched things I'd done, all the horrible things I'd indulged in--thinking them "passable" when, in truth, they were further burden upon His shoulders unto a torment beyond comprehension, just so that I wouldn't have to remain condemned under them..

...and Him, so precious beyond compare and so wonderful beyond comprehension...

...and I had done that, unto Him. He suffered for me, and yet I'd made choices which made His suffering necessary otherwise I'd remain condemned.

Now...it's known as so much more than that. My due wrath was meted upon the Son by the Father. He bore that, for me. For you. Propitiation for our sins.

Utterly unconscionable, that One so precious should suffer. One so incomparably wonderful...suffer such blatant rejection...as mockery, scorn, abandonment, ridicule, physical torture beyond human capacity to survive and then even still forced to bear further humiliations and ridicule and scorn as He silently bore it all and was made to carry the very cross upon which they massacred Him...made to carry it...bleeding, broken, rejected, abandoned...made to carry His own cross...upon which they--we...you and I, in our sins...the very cross upon which we hung Him to die. And He didn't shirk. He didn't plead. He didn't lament. He didn't complain.

He didn't forsake us, then, even as we were mocking Him in our sins.

He loved us, despite them. Enough to silently endure torment beyond reason, even unto a supernatural torment beyond comprehension.

And, all the while...all the while, He loved...all the while, He yet prayed for us...all the while, He loved without rebuke or error or faltering.

And, He gave His life. He gave up His life, to die. To be buried three days, to take captivity captive. Taking by force the keys of death, hell, and the grave--He arose, eradicating the hold which all had over man...becoming the Way, even as He had always been the only way. Oh, just that we should all seek Him! That we should all so ardently seek that narrow gate, which He is...that straight, narrow Way, which He is...

...He is all that's good.

The cross, though. Ever takes on new meaning, new depth. Even as seeing it unoccupied can send such a thrill, so does the symbol itself ever imply grief beyond measure. He lives. He reigns.
He is coming again.

His abiding Presence, though. Abiding always in His Presence.
I started talking to Him constantly. And the more I prayed, the more fulfilling and peaceful and real became His Presence. And the more I prayed, the more compelling and revelatory the Scriptures became.

Not in and of themselves, then, but as a matter of course through the revelation of the Holy Spirit dwelling within. Still, so often...there are so many things read time and time again which...then, for just a moment, it'll be as though I'd never read them before given a completely new depth of meaning and integration to the whole of life and the Lord and the Bible, itself.

And this has been true of all version of the Bible...of all English translations.
When read under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, though.

But then...anything done outside the guidance of the Holy Spirit is folly, just as a matter of the nature of so doing.

That's enough for now. It's an outlay of some significant factors.

First off...desiring the Lord, no matter what...understanding that it's impossible to even properly pursue Him, except that He leads a person in doing so.
Secondarily...seeking to know Him better...wanting to know Him for who He is, because of who He is.
Thirdly...loving Him wholeheartedly, which is something only He can manifest...but it's so very necessary as a part of seeking Him.
Fourthly...requiring Him. Settling for no substitutions or distractions. No imitations or detractions. Him, and Him alone. As THE vital necessity of living. Even knowing and realizing that it's entirely by grace that a person can even desire such a thing, thus He has to create the work and carry it out within us as to bring us into a place where He is duly required as the vital aspect of our existence.
Fifthly...asking Him for all these things, as so directed by the Spirit. Ask and ye shall receive. Those who ask not, have not. Ask and ask and ask again, and keep asking for the remainder of your life on this earth. We have to. We'll always need Him.
Sixthly...trust in Him to supply all these things and direct in whatever else need be. He alone brings us into a place of trust, through grace.
Seventh...seek greater faith, greater revelation of Him, greater obedience to His providential will. All, again, are only possible through grace.

That...is enough, for now. Even as it's still next to nothing, in terms of all the choices involved and all the steps taken and all the cross-examination and self-examination and research and study and reading and prayer and fellowship and further cross-examination endeavored and accomplished.

By grace, through faith. Always.