Many Things...Including My Utmost for His Highest, Oct. 3.

The Sphere Of Ministration

This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting. — Mark9:29 “Why could not we cast him out?” The answer lies in a personal relationship to Jesus Christ. This kind can come forth by nothing but by concentration and redoubled concentration on Him. We can ever remain powerless, as were the disciples, by trying to do God’s work not in concentration on His power, but by ideas drawn from our own temperament. We slander God by our very eagerness to work for Him without knowing Him. You are brought face to face with a difficult case and nothing happens externally, and yet you know that emancipation will be given because you are concentrated on Jesus Christ. This is your line of service — to see that there is nothing between Jesus and yourself. Is there? If there is, you must get through it, not by ignoring it in irritation, or by mounting up, but by facing it and getting through it into the presence of Jesus Christ, then that very thing, and all you have been through in connection with it, will glorify Jesus Christ in a way you will never know till you see Him face to face. We must be able to mount up with wings as eagles; but we must also know how to come down. The power of the saint lies in the coming down and the living down. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me,” said Paul, and the things he referred to were mostly humiliating things. It is in our power to refuse to be humiliated and to say — “No, thank you, I much prefer to be on the mountain top with God.” Can I face things as they actually are in the light of the reality of Jesus Christ, or do things as they are efface altogether my faith in Him, and put me into a panic?

The mountain top experiences have been utterly terrifying too, though, in their own peculiar way:

Being ever stalked, while having no recourse but to trust the Lord for protection, direction, and security? Being absolutely isolated, vulnerable, and completely at the mercy of my God's will for my continued existence? For such a mote of dust, as this? Hardly a speck, but that He should care?

Then for the sunrise, though, the brilliance of the stars pealing through unsullied darkness--and even the thicket of cloud-cover reverberating the evening light--but for these things of beauty..?

...and for the great engulfing of that very flame which is His presence...for the weight of Christ's love?

...for the sake of walking ever more completely aware of His presence, every day to face Death would be too infrequent. 

Begging to go home bears no response except reminder of what remains. And reminder of otherwise unwillingness to be loosed. Torn, then. Just so homesick.

Won't come by my hand, though--for love of Christ, who loves me. If the searing of cigarette smoke is sufficiently harmful to grieve Him, then far more would anything further--courting harm, courting death...just, no.

So, He preserves me from myself, as much as anything. His love stays my hand. Stills my will. 

A dark figure loomed large the other night, though. And I was told to sleep. There was terror, there, waiting to snare. Seeking to trap, perhaps. 

But I slept. Hidden beneath the shelter of His wings. 

Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 

I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,

My God, in whom I trust!”

3 

For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper

And from the deadly pestilence.

4 

He will cover you with His pinions,

And under His wings you may seek refuge;

His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

5 

You will not be afraid of the terror by night,

Or of the arrow that flies by day;

6 

Of the pestilence that [a]stalks in darkness,

Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.

7 

A thousand may fall at your side

And ten thousand at your right hand,

But it shall not approach you.

8 

You will only look on with your eyes

And see the recompense of the wicked.

9 

[b]For you have made the Lord, my refuge,

Even the Most High, your dwelling place.

10 

No evil will befall you,

Nor will any plague come near your [c]tent.

11 

For He will give His angels charge concerning you,

To guard you in all your ways.

12 

They will bear you up in their hands,

That you do not strike your foot against a stone.

13 

You will tread upon the lion and cobra,

The young lion and the [d]serpent you will trample down.

¹⁴ 

“Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;

I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.

¹⁵ 

“He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in [e]trouble;

I will rescue him and honor him.

¹⁶ 

“With [f]a long life I will satisfy him

And [g]let him see My salvation.”

At some point...maybe a tent would be nice. Been praying about that for a little over a year, now.