Another day to just give up. The past two nights have been an absolute blessing, being able to discuss Scripture and the Lord for hours at a time. To a point of being freed from so many concerns again.
But there's pain that comes, too. Remembering.
And then circumstances shift, as well.
He's faithful, though. And I will pursue and love the Lord with all I am, at the expense of absolutely everything else for howsoever long as He'll keep me and allow me and give me strength and will to do so, which I hope and pray will be for all eternity. He seems to promise as much, so that's enough.
It hurts, being cast aside. Being ignored. Being misunderstood and mocked and derided and undermined and all the rest. But I count Jesus dear, above all. And it's an honor and a privilege to be counted worthy to sympathize with Him, in any regard, as to endure sufferings alike His own though so utterly pale in comparison. So brief and small and next to nothing.
Tiny things.
And yet for Him to count any of us worth revealing Himself to, at that level. As to understand and know and share in His sufferings. Even as He's grieved, still, over so much.
To be called and given privilege of entering after Him, in and through His love. To love in the midst of pain. To rejoice in the midst of grief. To respond with compassion when reviled. Though to small and very brief extents, then still to be allowed to enter in to understanding, as to share.
And there's so much more to it than that, even. But to love is to want to endure alongside. To love is to want to bear the burdens in whatever way possible and permitted. Yet to be permitted and invited in to so sharing and enduring is a privilege.
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