He Knows Isolation

Even in the midst of companions Christ was somewhat derided. Scoffed at. Mocked. Misunderstood and thus undermined. Periodic.

What must it have been for Him, to say that his mother, sisters, brothers were those who obeyed the will of God, refusing to exit the assembly? Was it then that they had come to collect him, thinking him insane? Or some other time?

And at the point when they did go to collect him because they believed he'd lost his mind...if it wasn't that moment, then how did that end? How did it go? And even with his closest disciples convinced he was completely talking nonsense, when trying to tell them of his impending crucifixion...

...how must that have been?

To speak the truth, expressing the direst of directives--willingly to be entered, yet at such cost. And enough to be grieved unto blood.

To talk of it, openly, and be completely...ignored, rebuked, mocked, and ultimately fearfully avoided.

To be turned away from. Again and again. And again.

Yet never by the Father.

Who even allotted that two saints would convene to yield discussion of that direst and dearest of all historical events, prior to embarking--miraculously convening, the blending of worlds for moments' time. Encouragement, solidarity.

But to be so alone. In the midst of so many--continually thronging around in pursuit of him, yet incapable of wholly receiving the truth until he made way.

Why wouldn't he rejoice to find faith that knew him capable of speaking his will into being from afar? Why wouldn't he grieve that those nearest and closest to him ever doubted?

Yet unwavering trust in the Father. Unwavering devotion.

It pleased him to do the will of the Father. That he did nothing of his own accord. Nothing except the Father's bidding, as directed. It even pleased the Father that our Lord would exhibit mastery of obedience through suffering. He was proven perfect in some incomprehensible way, thus.

Are we better than him?
Yet it's his strength we walk in or we crumble and are crushed entirely, incapable of rejoicing in the midst of endless trials.

Naught but to surrender wholly to his mercies, incapable of aught else.

...

Very much longing for a cave, at present. Though it would be as fearful, just in different ways. More familiar ways, at least. The Lord is not allowing it.

Rather, the opposite.

Instead of focusing on failures and feeling like a failure, I will let the Lord and keep asking the Lord to help me remember what and who he has said I am. And will remember, along those lines, that his will is done regardless and surmounting whatsoever else. Ultimately.

He will and does work all things for good to those who love him.
Even what's most painful and heart-wrenching.