My Utmost for His Highest 1/5

The Afterwards Of The Life Of Power

Whither I go, thou canst not follow Me now; but thou shalt follow Me afterwards. — John 13:36 “And when He had spoken this, He saith unto him, Follow Me.” Three years before, Jesus had said — “Follow Me,” and Peter had followed easily, the fascination of Jesus was upon him, he did not need the Holy Spirit to help him to do it. Then he came to the place where he denied Jesus, and his heart broke. Then he received the Holy Spirit, and now Jesus says again — “Follow Me.” There is no figure in front now saving the Lord Jesus Christ. The first “Follow Me” had nothing mystical in it, it was an external following; now it is a following in internal martyrdom (cf. John 21:18). Between these times Peter had denied Jesus with oaths and curses, he had come to the end of himself and all his self-sufficiency; there was not one strand of himself he would ever rely upon again, and in his destitution he was in a fit condition to receive an impartation from the risen Lord. “He breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost.” No matter what changes God has wrought in you, never rely upon them, build only on a Person, the Lord Jesus Christ, and on the Spirit He gives. All our vows and resolutions end in denial because we have no power to carry them out. When we have come to the end of ourselves, not in imagination but really, we are able to receive the Holy Spirit. “Receive ye the Holy Ghost” — the idea is that of invasion. There is only one lodestar in the life now, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Acts 19:1-7

1And it came to pass, that, while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul having passed through the upper coasts came to Ephesus: and finding certain disciples, 2He said unto them, Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed? And they said unto him, We have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost. 3And he said unto them, Unto what then were ye baptized? And they said, Unto John's baptism.4Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus. 5When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 6And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied. 7And all the men were about twelve.

1 Corinthians 12:12-31

12For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ. 13For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.

14For the body is not one member, but many. 15If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? 16And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? 17If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? 18But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. 19And if they were all one member, where were the body? 20But now are they many members, yet but one body. 21And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. 22Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: 23And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. 24For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked: 25That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. 26And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

27Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

28And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues. 29Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles? 30Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret? 31But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.

Luke 11:13

...worth spending time praying about and seeking the Lord regarding. Especially given the wealth of blatant distraction, destructive counterfeit, and willful delusion run amok. Unto holiness or self-indulgence?, is one point to ponder. Glorifying man or God? All things are to be done in an orderly way, as it goes. Not haphazardly, chaotically.

And we're all at the mercy of God, ultimately. I'm just going to accept and ask for any help He would allow and afford and provide, so much as it's given to attempt. Still with no idea what's going on, but yah. Stuff.

Helped significantly to be sheltered against despair, though. And against many things which utterly overwhelmed, before. Not as though I don't still fail regularly. But...yeah. The difference is humbling. Same as things got a lot more trying and intense afterward. And I'd thought it was overwhelming, before.

Had no idea.
Still learning. Learning how to let go, moreover.

And continuing to ask. Because there's need of Him. And need of mortification of self, which He alone can truly accomplish in a way which is beneficial and unto sanctification rather than being merely destructive (penance is not helpful).

For all I know, everyone who is His could already have received of Him the baptism. I have no idea. But it definitely came after much prayer, devotion, study, and seeking, months after salvation, for me. And not in a church. Unexpectedly, though after ongoing asking and seeking.
Even with just asking Him whether it was a "thing." Or whether it was all distraction and harmful.

Taking Him at His word constitutes an endless search for meaning and truth, and is entirely overwhelming. Checking, double-checking, triple-checking, cross-referencing, and seeking comprehensive insight...yet trust.

Just seek the Word, that's all. Seek what the Lord has said.