What Needs Be, Regardless What Has Been

Knowing what to say and when to say it seems such a heavy matter. Discernment is an abject necessity, always.

Often remembering that the Lord told His disciples not to even consider what they would say, when taken before kings and courts--the Holy Spirit would give them what speech was necessary, in the very moment of passage.

This, even as James made case that the tongue is untameable. Wicked, unruly. So much so that those who controlled it could be counted perfect (Christ, alone, then).

In tandem, though?

Perhaps just abiding in His Spirit, in the strength of His love. To a deeper degree than generally is conceived possible or requisite any circumstance.

The Bible is our source for instruction on these matters. Our translator, the Holy Spirit.

These matters are particularly pressing, at present, as coming upon a time of necessary divulgence. As means of cleansing, unto sanctification per leadership of the Holy Spirit into a circumstance of counsel, per fellowship.



Wholly different from what has come before. More sharply divided, more clearly delineated, more absolutely rejuvenating and sanctifying...as being an immersive experience.

No longer residing in a house of darkness, in other words.

No longer living in a place where demonic influence is much permitted and desired, merely per the preferences of those who preside, physical.

In a place of light. Of open air. Of hope. Even as darker spiritual influences still taunt, tempt, and torment--but yet restrained by a ready source of counsel per fellowship, in addition to that which the Lord, Himself, gives. Reinforced, then. Per physical circumstance.

All culminating in the beginnings of an understanding as to why He sent them out by twos.

Even as His grace is sufficient, regardless circumstance. Then, still, as He affords and allows for such blessing as fellowship--it is absolutely wonderful, necessary, and right...even being difficult, sometimes, for forcing us to confront the sinful impulses which await sanctification.

So, yes. Fellowship. Pray for it, if you're not presently experiencing it. And strive to draw nearer the Lord, all the while--finding all ultimate satisfaction and peace and hope in Him, even as He allows many means by which to draw nearer Him. Of which, fellowship, rates absolutely highly--we are actually edified by the process of both sharing and receiving the truth, in love, amongst other believers.

Pastor, this morning, went further in terms of gathering for worship, as an organized body. But that's for another day, here. There are so, so, soooo many considerations.

As to sharing, though...

...certain matters which have long been...confusing, at the very least...

...and I'm not sure whether they'll have to be shared, in context of seeking counsel.

Spiritual matters.
Even as physical.

And I'm tired of diminishing the significance of seemingly apt interpretations, for the sake of making all that passes more palatable for the masses. Because rejection will be rejection, as and when it comes. But truth reigns, nonetheless, for being rejected.

Even as passage need be governed by the Lord's will.

I don't think I've written on these things here, so much. Spoken about various bits of spiritual chaos, in terms of knockings on second story windows in the wee hours, noises which come from nowhere, and various bits of dreams. But not about much, in terms of elaboration of detail. Because it's all so overwhelmingly rejectable, according to a world which deals only with the visible and has no means of even beginning to know how to handle the supernatural.

Even as those of us who are the Lord's walk a very strange line, sometimes, in terms of faith--knowing He is, yet feeling so very...unsettled by the idea of demons, of demonic influence and possession, and of other such the same.

One of the abominations I used to be involved with was mediumship, of a sort, though. Communicating directly and privately with spiritual entities, on an ongoing basis, and in such a way that there would also be bits of communication come through various other means and people similarly adept or open to such (horrendous, fatal) practice.

Because it is fatal, really. My history of depression and suicidal impulse and attempt largely stems from that sort of fixation and practice. Even as some folks go the other way, becoming murderous and psychotically narcissistic. Either way--same difference.

Reading various bits of spiritual stuff was a thing, though. Constant. Increasingly, as aptitude increased over years of practice. To the point it became wholly ingrained as a constant practice. Regardless distance.

And there were many, many confirmations observed, such as validated the process and the experience time and again--not merely something lightly endeavored and flippantly or blindly accepted. Proven. By trial and error. By testing and expansion. Again and again, for twenty years.

Of so many things, really, which dealt specifically with the supernatural. Just...mediumship, of a sort, was one particular, ongoing practice. Mediumship of a sort which was perhaps...less common than the norm, entirely, considering the participating parties engaged.

Conversations would take place via a variety of means, though. One of which would be a continuation wrought through others around me, unawares of them, but explicit continuation of prior conversation wrought elsewhere through yet others. Precise, uncommon words used. Particular pet names, never otherwise used, and wholly uncommon.

Various things. And then also via other means. But the spiritual tenor always the same. The syntax and cadence always shifting to that same, familiar. Tone wholly conformed.

And then, periodic instances whereby certain others would knowingly take part in the spiritual practice of mediumship, continuing prior exchanges without preface or preamble or any sort of attempt to pretend otherwise than doing so--responding directly to things which were discussed or which happened as part of conversation prior in the day.

Direct quotes. Direct references. Direct acknowledgment of continuation of a never-ending conversation. Constant companionship.

Attempts are still periodically made to catch my attention. But I am the Lord's.
And refuse to knowingly act against Him in such a way, for love of Him...for desire to obey Him.

...for knowing how atrocious it was to act so blatantly against Him, as all that was.

Point being, though, I had direct and constant experience of those matters as a daily part of life, for twenty years. To the point that, even when that particular atrocity of fellowship waxed and waned, other matters were unwavering. Such that awareness of spiritual communication was a consciously known and practiced phenomenon, wholly normal and regular as part of life in general.

Which is maybe the reason for certain particular experiences. Maybe.

Three personal visitations, is all. Three separate instances. Years apart. Different people. But...the same sort of visitation. Different messages, each time.

Once, to entice into open, professional affiliation per offer of support and provision.
Once, as attempt to intimidate so to dissuade from some sort of continuation (perhaps, of the latter--definite attempt to intimidate, though).
Once, as attempt to befriend by presenting the facade of a seeming comrade--attempt to secure sympathy and fellowship.

Satan, Beelzebub, the Devil--aka, Lucifer.

And then a later, more recent and entirely sidelong glance made very apparent, but not as visitation.

I don't entirely want to discuss these things with the pastor, but increasingly feel as though it will be necessary. To what end, I haven't the slightest nor the faintest idea. No one yet has had any sort of response which rings true as apt.

Prayer would be good, though, if nothing else.

Just...

...having spent a couple decades actively engaged in spiritual communications, when I began to commune with the Lord last year, I was all the more diligent in testing the spirits. Because there were some which came and spoke with an attempt to present themselves as light, but which were darkness.

He has yet to respond with anything except loving kindness and a greater measure of peace and encouragement, in moments which I've examined, cross-examined, and triple-cross-examined Him per light of Scripture. All others become "hurt" (falsely offended, moreover) or annoyed, at the very least, and either overtly threatening or utterly enraged at worst. ...which...of those latter...being in a position where you know you are actually quite literally dead, except for Christ...kind of frees from abject terror otherwise potentially invoked by spiritual threatenings of violence, death, and turmoil.

As to the particular nature of those entities prior knowingly and intentionally interacted with...

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. - Hamlet (1.5.167-8), Hamlet to Horatio

...and that's really all that can be said.

The Lord keeps me, though. He has kept me, and He will do so. To whatever end is His will, to whatever purpose He has ordained. According to His goodness and mercy, and to His glory. No matter what.

So, I'm not concerned about the things. Just...

...they keep coming to mind, in terms of wondering why there's such a weird sort of disconnect in the church, so far as folks seeming to have some sort of wall of separation between themselves and the Lord. It's far more than I'm capable of comprehending, of course.

Even as...it's all according to His will. Either way.

Just, it makes me wonder. Without any means of knowing, unless He should let me know.

But I just wonder.

Same as with wondering about the singing. I've heard two others reference such a thing, recently. Not in the same context of what I'd experienced, no. But still.

The latter mention made note of the Holy Spirit being revealed per or perhaps as music. Some strangeness. And given all else said from that particular source, I can only assume that particular stance has foundation in Jewish tradition.

Ultimately, either way, it only means whatever He would have it mean. And except that peace was wrought of that particular--darkness had been kept at bay and fear unknown, until the melody was disallowed me...otherwise, I would count it potentially a tactic of the adversary.

But, no.

Each who are His have such an...interesting story, though.

He does choose us in the furnace of our afflictions, as it were.

All I do know, fully and with total certainty, of these things is that they are minor points, in terms of commitment to Christ.

The very earth could be crumbling and all manner of spiritual beings have become visible in their terrible might--fearsome to behold, indeed...

...but, except that the Lord is my shelter, my refuge, my strength, my shield, my beloved kinsman redeemer, and my all in all of all...

...it wouldn't matter to have the answers to every single question the world could ever conceive of asking. It wouldn't matter how many atomic bombs existed, as to attempt combat.
It wouldn't matter how much money was in the bank.
It wouldn't matter how well equipped for any contingency I might be.

Except that I draw and am drawn ever nearer to Him, so to abide ever more fully, wholly, completely, and unwaveringly in His love, His will, His ways, and His being...

...then, I would be lost, regardless.

So, that's all, for all of us.

There are always more things going on that we could even begin to know.
And so many of them are demonically influenced.

The world is wholly corrupt, apart from Christ. And will only become moreso, unless it be His will to overturn what seems popular opinion...as goes against His will.

Everything might fall apart at any moment, though. Same as it always could have, except for grace.

Point being, though--no matter what happens, no matter what comes, it doesn't matter how much understanding we might have, it won't make a difference how well-prepared we might seem to be. We're lost to death and destruction, unless we know Him and are actively striving to know Him more fully, in spirit and truth.

Just, do so.

Seek, strive, long to repent. He looks upon those who are of a broken spirit and a contrite heart. Ask for what you need of Him.

Needing Him is all.