Learning to trust. Such a strange concept, that it should be difficult to trust the Master of all that exists. How wretched must I be, to be able to in any way remain anxious over what goes or what may come...knowing the One who ordains, decrees, and allows everything which ever passes, to the utmost degree. And knowing that, as one whom He has forgiven, all things will work to good.
Whether to mine or no isn't a concern. To higher good is the concern. As to His glory.
That's all. Just to His glory, whatever comes.
Which...is a distinction the world just absolutely does not want to consider. Because it means things don't always lead to comfort and material success and apparent health and wellness. Even as one of the pastors I follow has made mention that God's purpose for us more largely is that we will be conformed to Christ's likeness--a process which isn't fraught with comfort and wellness according to the world's standards, by any means.
Death to self, in other words. As service to Him and to others. Poured out for all, He was. And we are to become conformed to His image.
...have you ever gone so far as to forget yourself? For moments at a time, to have no self-concept or self-awareness whatsoever.
If only it were so and always. Only to be aware of Him, wholly. Not caught up with all the nonsense which so wholly strives to beckon and consume attention, in this realm, all around--a two-fold attempt, it is: focus on all the things external, focus solely on self and what concerns.
Forsaking reality, by the course.
Something which came today, though (and I'm well aware all this is very loosely wrought, just as need be)...
...we claim ourselves loving, claim ourselves together. Yet the love we claim and purport to share is self-serving. Self-defined, thus it can only be self-serving, as seeing self primarily.
Doing what's right in our own eyes, per this, and calling it good, calling it goodwill, calling it merciful and compassionate. When every act, every intent, every thought, every design...is solely wrought per such limited understandings as can only come per finite perspectives (even attempting joint considerations, culminating contemplations), which ever are so flawed as to only mar what's sought to be salvaged. Corruption is inherent our every act, in other words, no matter how "good" the intention.
So even the most seemingly helpful endeavor--if founded upon and sourced from human efforts and intentions--only corrupts and degrades and diminishes and destroys. Even as attempting to save the world, thus we destroy it all the more rapidly.
Calling it love.
While destruction is enacted.
We do these things, except we depend upon Him for every act, every thought, every word.
...but how to do so?...how else, except to pray, trusting He will give us the desires of our hearts, if we delight in Him--placing those very desires within us, then that we may seek Him as they may be fulfilled per His further goodness, love, and mercy as so lavishly bestowed.
There's no time for more, right now. So many things, lately, there's not opportunity to reflect. But soon. As He wills, only.
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