A Longing to Approach

We need to come awake. To reality.

People yet deny His existence. Rationalizing it a million ways and back, as though mere rationalization after the fact of having decided a wrong course then somehow makes it valid.

Not so.

A thing is and then might find explanation (according to His order is it so).

But not the other way around. Our words don't create reality.

And no matter how far we might go with any projected attempt at becoming so, yet still, we are not our own creators. Thus, nor the ones who control our destiny.

You created yourself no more than I did. Thus, neither are we ever capable of doing so, no matter how deep the attempt might reach as to rationalize it so or attempt a facade enacted per such course attempted, after the fact ever of being born.


So, then, we do even strip that "right" away from others, near indiscriminately, as though somehow it makes us akin also to God, as to've stepped in and enacted death.

No. No matter how wretched we are in our musings or attempt at control, yet we aren't in control of life nor of death, ultimately.

Even though our very breath may mock Him, yet He suffers us to live and die. We aren't sovereign, no matter how much we might attempt to manipulate or mimic or despoil or overcome His machinations. And no matter how extravagant or intricate our attempts, still they do nothing to even alter the barest breeze of His will. He allows. He permits. He suffers us continue along in ever-deepening delusion.

How near must His coming be, that there are those who have begun to awaken, in spirit and truth?

Not yet to self-deluded dreams of grandeur or self-indulgence, but to deeper love for Him and ardent desire for His presence...as mortifies self, apart.

Yet, He draws us near. He does. We can't even decide such a thing. We can't even come to desire it, apart from His beckoning we do so.

Oh, that we would desire Him wholly! No longer the fears of Israel! Fear that He would reveal Himself and the mere sight of Him and sound of His voice would strike us dead! Even as it could, then but to long to know Him, still...! Even as Moses desired to see His glory!

...as You would long to hear the voice of a beloved friend, to see the face of your parent after time...

Longing for a loved one. Desperate to see them again, missing them so sorely...

...that even fear of what might come is no longer a concern, in terms of just longing desperately for that blessed reunion! Or union!, as the case may be...

What would it be, to walk with Him, in spirit and full?

...which...really, is as we do, even now. Those who know Him, truly.

The thing is, there are constantly thoughts which attempt and will perhaps continue to attempt to exalt themselves against Him--attempting to bring focus back to self, off of Him. That, sometimes, is spiritual influence. Sometimes it's corruption of flesh.

There is a difference, and it is discernable. As He leads, though. And the thing is--it really doesn't matter to be able to distinguish. All that matters is to realize that something is attempting to exalt itself against Christ, then to bring it to heel.

By grace.

Because it's Him, by His will, according to His leading...and through His power, alone, that it's even possible to do so, on all such counts--to know, to do, and to experience success.

The joy it is to know Him, though...

Nothing compares. Nothing at all.

All else falls into shadow, intially, then completely falls away. Until there is no comparison, because there's nothing else.

I keep thinking back to my Grandmother's deathbed. Of the pain. And seeing it's sin which does this, which has done it. Yet, but for grace...there would be nothing else.

Period.

Nothing except pain, horror, anguish, terror, licentiousness, rage, bitterness, jealousy, self-consumption, and all things wretched and devastating. Fear, unabated.

But He is good, and so those things are kept restrained according to His order.

Soon, there will be Greek. Even strongly suspecting the original texts were Hebrew. Still.

Pray for the church. Pray that He will be glorified. Pray that He will raise a testimony for Himself amongst all the people of the world, that His name will be hallowed! He is and is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.