To love.

And, another thing:

Yes, so as the Lord guides, I'll humble myself as to learn doctrine (to whatsoever degree He enables).

But I will not be dissuaded from walking with God. I don't care who else wants to tell me I'm wrong for seeking Christ wholeheartedly to the exclusion of whatsoever else there may be.
I don't care what else it yields in others, so far as random attacks go.

The Lord has let me see that, generally speaking, the stuff that folks have been flinging at me in such anger, with such vehemence and vitriol...it's not really them, per se.

Which is a very strange space to be in, realizing that. The implications, so far as refraining from answering "in the same spirit" are that much more sincerely embraced, now. As is the necessity of love, in response. There is no law against love. Nothing can come against it, to conquer.

The love of God does ultimately conquer all. Not my love, nor any individual's love, per se...but the love of God.

Christ conquers all.

So, that's the whole of the law. Love God with everything within me, and love others to such an extent as God provides me capacity.

There's no law against that. It is the whole of the law.

So, it kind of trumps whatsoever else sort of "card" is played. Love is your Ace.
Only...abiding in Christ, so long as we truly do, we're to play that Ace every time.
Trusting that, ever so many times as we throw it on the table, we've still got that many more in our hand.

Because, when you're dealing in terms of the one who Created probability and statistics...

...you're not exactly bound by the so-called laws of nature. You're bound by His laws. Which equates to being freed from pretty much all else. Given that the whole of His law is love.

Just try it. Seriously.

I'm learning how to love, even now. I'm terrible at it. Absolutely horrible at loving.

It's easier for me to tell people "Jesus loves you," than for me to tell them "I love you," and look them anywhere near in the eye for hours thereafter. I would rather run away. Would rather "act it out" in completely inconspicuous ways which are completely untraceable back to me (difficult to find such things, thus far).

Even family. Which is where the Lord has begun my education on that count.
Learning to love them. And not just to say it, but to actually express it...openly, even. Like, by hugging and stuff...eventually, probably.

It's humiliating to admit that I don't have any clue how to love my family.

Love isn't picking apart things and trying to figure out how to assemble them for more efficient operation.

Love isn't retreating into a corner at all hours, and ardently but only praying for them but never interacting.

Love also isn't hyper-analyzing every single instance of interaction as to determine motive, intent, and derivatives of perspective. Definitely not.

It's not really viewing everything as a "them" and "me" scenario, either.

So...I've wound down what it's not...

...what is it, then?

Listening. For the sake of being able to share a moment.
For the sake of enjoying someone's company and being able to be there with them.

Without experiencing a compulsion to "fix" them in some way, no matter what seems off-kilter (just a tad with the beam in my own eye, eh?). No. Because that tendency...oh, so very obviously is shameful and I'm utterly ashamed of myself for having dwelt in that land so very, very long.

I couldn't even fix myself. I mean, seriously. The Lord did everything which is now good and all whatsoever is stable.

How absolutely wretched it has been, for me to judge and to look for things which need help. I mean, seriously. Yeah, so there's the tendency to want to justify myself, justify my existence--let alone my presence, anywhere I happen to be...apologizing for just existing... ...which must be released to the Lord, because it does tend to give way into all the rest of this horrendous madness concerning the judging of others. The Lord is the only one who can justify any of us--and we're justified in Him, even then...not in ourselves. So...yeah.

It's as a bunch of servants running around, each trying to act as though we're truly situated in the authority of our Master... ...bossing one another around for the sake of expressing dominance, so as to perceive our own closeness to the Master per our "similar" superiority. When He is not like that, at all.

He simply is sovereign. He doesn't have to exert His dominance openly, as to express the truth of it being so. He is completely superior...supremely above all...and, yet, He doesn't have to flaunt it in ways as to mock our inferiority--pointing our deficiencies out, in opposition to His complete sufficiency, in order to ever assert the truth of those things. He doesn't need to do those things. He doesn't do them. He can do as He will. And He seems oft to just love--without even crushing us all into extinction, despite the atrocities we continually commit as scorning His infinite goodness... He allows us to do those things, loving seemingly nonetheless...yet drawing some to Himself, as to openly evidence His mercy, His goodness, His glory, His love...in being exceedingly good to those who are called...because He can. And so, resting in Him, trusting in Him... ...the One above all, who is good and loving and merciful and just. Resting in Him, then, can we love one another, too. Rather than continuing to rush around attempting to exercise authority in His name... ...which is not as He does... ...then, we can do as He does do--we can love.

Love has a power which has only just begun to even nudge its way into my awareness.

Unadulterated love. The love of God. As God loves. Chaste, pure, holy, unequivocal, unconditional, all-consuming, all-encompassing love. Yet not mindless. Entirely individual, entirely personal, and yet completely non-exclusive.

It's just beyond my comprehension, to think of such love.

Yet, love is the thing. Love conquers all, somehow.

Whereas... Hate (and all its permutations) distorts. Hate contorts. Hate decomposes. Hate destroys. Hate kills.

Love heals. Love conquers even through surrender. Love edifies. Love magnifies. Love gives life.

But only the love of God. Christ's love, in us. Through us.

So, we must love. We must all learn to love. As God loves.

I pray the Lord opens all our hearts, our minds, and our eyes and ears, to the desperate need for love in the world, to the blatant practicality of love, and to an ardent desire for greater capacity to receive His love and thus a resultant expansion in our capacity for yielding to the expression of love to all those whom we encounter; all, through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit as our guide in so seeking and doing, according to Christ's love for us all, and I believe the Father will open these pathways in and through us. Praise the Lord for His goodness and mercy, forever!