There may well be nutritional value therewith, but the process of imbibing isn't quite as easy as one would expect (still, far better than spontaneously adapting to a diet of woodland insects without having prior experience of so consuming).
In other words, life is strange.
A particular point of foremost concern over course of the past few months has come into a new stage of comprehension, yet again. This, in terms of the distinctions elicit in discernment between Spirit-ordained church discipline and flesh-founded tendency unto divisiveness.
Far too readily do we all tend toward that latter, in terms of attempt to discern sanctification even according to Scripture. Which, moreover, is shades whereby the verse restricting against the "private" interpretations of Scripture. As opposed to what I've more generally heard preached, wherein (to varying degrees of implication/open declaration) there's a claim made that individuals are not to attempt to understand the Word of God on their own...without other people. No mention of the Holy Spirit's role in teaching, no. Just that folks aren't to study it "in a void," socially speaking.
However, if you read the subsequent verse, you might note that Peter was talking of how people weren't to interpret it themselves...according to man's understanding...as Scripture was given by the Holy Spirit... ..of which, the next following thought would be that, as it was given by the Holy Spirit, then so must it be interpreted by the Holy Spirit.
Not as though the Spirit doesn't allow us to go through the process of doing certain things as to allow Him to guide comprehension (think in terms of how "the best commentary on the Bible is the Bible").. ..but, still, unless we're letting the Spirit lead comprehension, we're off-track.
Which is where I've become increasingly confounded in terms of the methods of initial "orthodoxy" adopted by the church, as a whole. Wherein folks did "what made sense" to them. And why I need to look more deeply into that, to understand the Spirit's work, along those terms.
Just...deviating from the guidance of the Holy Spirit, yet still asserting the dominance of Scripture according to physical, mental, emotional, natural and whatsoever combination of solely man-derived means ends with things like the Inquisition. Which, in ways, is yet being played out, today.
Per means of the divisive spirit which arises out of the tendency to assert dominance in personal ability to interpret. I've done it, I've experienced it, I see it very frequently. And it's a constant battle not to slip entirely into that mentality, on and on again. "Looking in from the outside" on what others do, and seeing the splinter in the eyes of others.
The Lord will use what He will use to try, chastise, guide, instruct, teach, admonish, mold, sanctify, and save each of us. And it's been pointed out to me, time and again...that the work of the Holy Spirit is sacred beyond my ability to truly appreciate for...thus, the greatest necessity is to honor that such work by refraining from making snap-judgments (or any judgments, most times). No condemnation, in other words.
One of the wonderful sisters who has been sharing with me put it in terms of something she'd recently read, composed by Christian medical professional (seriously paraphrased):
In the medical field, you look for signs of life. And when they're there--no matter how weak they are--you do everything you can to support life. But in Christianity, we too often look for signs of death, instead. Rather than focusing on signs of life--no matter how fragile or tenuous they might seem...we seek signs of death--we look for error and disease. So, we seriously need to learn from the medical profession, on that count. We must rejoice when we detect any signs of life and do everything within our power to help them flourish.We can pick things apart a million ways to Sunday, without ever approaching detection of God's purpose or work. All we know are the bits and pieces He's shared with us directly, in the Scripture. And whatsoever else He shares with us, howsoever else He so directs.
In case it's not obvious, I tend to overcomplicate everything beyond reason. That, more obviously, is nothing new. Not something which just started overnight, upon conversion.
Granted, though, prior to conversion this such tendency was of an ultimately destructive nature. Those who were near enough to share in such thoughts, to receive them or peruse them whereabouts they ever did lay...ones who were more observant and thoughtful often warned of the dangers inherent of such tendencies. For one, as it exists outside of reliance upon Christ, the eventual outcome is existential nihilism--coming to view things as their essence, merely, rather than of possessing any value themselves...compounded by realization of fundamental lack of inherent meaning, period. However, past that point, in looking to the peculiarity of recurrence in thematic operation and relational nature of matters existent...the mere fact of such recurrent schema indicates a baseline order, a baseline structure reflected and reflective throughout all of existence...from the nature of the operation of thought and emotion, to the nature of the structure of the body's systems, to the operating paradigms persistent throughout varying societies, to the order by which the universe seems to operate magnetically. There are parallels, in other words, in the way things operate.
Despite that, superficially, everything seems wholly subject to chaos...there seems an inherent element of randomness present in all which occurs...and that all which is seems entirely unrelated to all else, per the fact of existing singularly unto itself.. ..despite those seeming things.. ..looking deeper unveils persistent paradigms of operation, which belies the appearance of chaos as a valid operating paradigm.
If you look far enough, you'll see it. If you look deep enough, you'll start to "comprehend" the apparent mechanisms of operation. They all seemed concentric. Expansively concentric. Reflexively concentric about some invisible point of nature by which all operated. Yet, along each level of operation, some common dynamics could be discerned as apparent and reflective unto all other levels. ...to put in terms of one field... ...like, what-with sociology viewing the operating dynamic of a nation as determined along particular orders of function, whereby necessary functions are adopted by each particular "company" within the nation (health-care, government, education--to name a few examples) and that each of those would have particular subsets of rules for operation within each which yet reflected the same baseline order of division which determined the need for each of those such divisions of specialization. And on, and on, and on. Functionality, in a term. Functional analysis.
But those same sorts of needs are persistent and existent within each realm of study. Those same particular sorts of divisions. Given different terms, perhaps...but the persistence of function is very recurrent.
Thus, thematic.
Okay, so what-with all that. ...and then, also applied to religion. Compare and contrast. Functional analysis. Determination of validity in purported means and methods. And what stands alone?
Christ.
I couldn't presently explain, in depth, on that particular. He absolutely astounds me beyond my ability to comprehend His magnitude. Which...kinda', sorta' is the nature of infinity.
I'd just never experienced infinity before Him, directly. Even degrees of mathematical infinity, quantum infinity, or any other of a sort...are linear, compared to Christ. Those all...are relative to our concepts of what such a thing as infinity truly is, so they're still described according to our ability to perceive such a thing.
Christ ultimately defies conception. Ultimately, He exceeds comprehension. Despite which, though...He has revealed Himself to us. In meaningful ways. On our terms, so as that we can approach Him. So as that we can know Him. Not just know of Him. Know Him.
In terms of all the rest, even. Yet, still, as Himself.
It's the knowing Christ which is definitive in salvation, as becoming known.
So, whatsoever terms we come to know Him personally on...how are we to say that someone else doesn't know Him, just because their terms of engagement with Him are varied to some blatant degree, divergent from those of our own?
Like what-with considering that fellow preacher, contemporary of Jonathan Edwards, who "did not believe in the supernatural"...does that necessarily indicate that he didn't have a saving knowledge of Christ Jesus? No, it didn't.
Just as, despite being able to say that much with certainty, I yet cannot conclude the opposite is true with the same degree of absolute certainty. Only the Lord knows are hearts. Only God knows which of us are His own. And, while He will/may/does often reveal that to those who are His own...that doesn't mean He has to, in order for it to be true.
God isn't obligated to operate on our terms, is all. He meets us. He has come to us, to save us from ourselves. And He does guide and save those who are His own. For His own name's sake, because of His goodness and faithfulness and mercy and righteousness. And because He loves.
It's just too much a tendency to think that, just because I understand certain things and have certain interaction with the Lord along particular lines...that somehow the approach or understanding of others, differing significantly from my own Scriptural understandings and prayerful continuation...is somehow less valid. Which is severely self-righteous and wholly untrue.
Everyone who is the Lord's has their own relationship with Him. Par for the course, as inherent of salvation--spiritual rebirth implicit of such a development, as per saving knowledge of Christ, Himself. Again, though, that doesn't mean that just because someone has a particular relationship with him which is more focused on devotion to Him per the course of ardent theological study, as opposed to ardent public worship, as opposed to ardent private prayer and study, as opposed to devout pursuit of clarifying doctrinal profundities, as opposed to quiet and deeply compassionate service to those found in need...or whatsoever else variations upon personal pursuits unto the greatest commandment as to love God with all one's heart, soul, and mind... ...those variations don't mean any particular approach is greater or lesser than another, nor necessarily invalid or valid in and of themselves. Only the Lord knows the heart, ultimately.
So, we're just not to judge in terms of completely casting someone or something off as wholly outside of providence. We are to love. Christ is judge. We are not. We can know a tree by its fruit, He said. But even then...mustn't love be the course, rather than condemnation?
Hadn't we ought rather to pray and to approach with humility...as the Lord guides...rather than to cast aspersions.
I'm just still confounded at my own snap judgments. I'm still praying for deliverance from that such tendency. For, ever having heard someone out, detecting particular strains of deceit or idolatry or pride or malice or whatsoever else which I've so loathed in myself...that doesn't mean that I can then loathe them in that other, but should rather be compassionate. Loving. Pointing to Christ, rather than to self. Loving and pointing to Christ. In tandem.
Because what worked for me may not necessarily be the course for another. And the very Biblical passages which were those which the Lord used to convict, exhort, edify, and deliver me...through prayerful meditation...may not be the same as that which another person might need. He speaks to each of us differently, even through the very same Scriptures, sometimes. So, even as I can learn more about the Lord by hearing someone else's interpretation of a particular Scripture which has meant something entirely different to me, even within the very same context of Scripture and life-circumstances.. ..ultimately, I'm to love the Lord, and to love my sister or brother, rather than to cast doubt upon their interpretations.
So, yes...Sola Scriptura...as keeping with Peter's admonition that it not be interpreted without the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
If I hadn't spent a few years, in the early 2000s, learning to intentionally layer meaning for individual interpretation...I doubt I'd understand how significant a thing the idea of being guided in interpretation of Scripture is. Nor would it likely make entirely so much sense that different people can read the exact same phrase in the Bible and all have utterly different interpretations. ..the latter of these has so much further been elucidated according to further study in terms of the general logistics of effective communication.
Both and the all is true, though. A single phrase can mean multiple things. Particularly according to both intent and interpretation. So, interpretation varies as intended by the author according to expectation of the audience's perspective of particular phrases and syntax and words, and further will interpretation vary in accordance with the recipient's temporal perspective.
Think of this:
apple
...
The word brings to mind a dark red, shiny apple with miniscule darker spots, a brief stem, rounded moreso than elongated, with a slightly narrower base than top, slightly lumpy in shape, without bruise, without scars.
If you thought of that exact same thing when you read and thought of "apple," I'd be pretty surprised.
Not impossible, no. But...it's not necessarily likely. Your thought might have entailed a green apple. Or, a Macintosh apple. Or a Granny Smith apple. Or maybe a basket of apples.
Or maybe a tree. Or maybe a child holding an apple.
Just...the possibilities are as limitless as are the number of folks who might contemplate the word. To an extent revolving around the word itself, even as perhaps in instance opposing the word's general interpretation.
If that can be true for a single word...why would we expect different, in regard to concepts and their proper application? And, in that particular, furthermore why would we then--having the author as a personal guide--not seek for assistance in proper interpretation from the author, Himself?
Even as in terms of how some put it, whereby the best way to interpret Scripture is using Scripture. That's still...in a loose sense...letting the author interpret Himself, for you.
The way the Lord guides interpretation for me is not going to be the same as for you. Same as the way He guides you is going to be different than for me. Except that there will be some striking similarities, in terms of Christ, Himself. There must be, as course according to the testing of spirits unto validity.
Those who are the Lord's do recognize His voice, ultimately.
I'll read the Bible, then listen to preachers, then pray, then read the works of other authors, then fellowship regarding the all which the Lord is revealing, then on and on. Some folks maybe just solely study the Word. Maybe some only go to church.
I'm not sure where attending church is going, right now. The place I've been so blessed as to attend is absolutely wonderful in its teaching and fellowship and being so blessed as to spend time with others who know the Lord and are so welcoming and loving as they are...has exceeded all hope and expectation. Just...there's been noted a need, increasingly evidenced these past many weeks, to endeavor some other particulars which necessarily will restrict my ability to continue to attend weekly. Given time conflict. I'm still praying on that count (have been for the past few weeks), despite having yesterday and today made apparent my willingness to accommodate the need to both parties involved.
Which would mean alternating Sundays for attendance at the church which has been such a wonder. Even as, despite hoping to be able to attend Wednesday evenings, there's not ability to do so given some particularly blessed obligations.
Got to stop. Just...now...reading through the text conversations with my friend who is gone. It was so much more recent that I'd thought. He'd last texted me in May, and I never responded. I knew Christ in May. He passed away on July 18. And I had never responded. I never talked to him about Jesus. Oh, Lord...that others may have...that he might have called out, in those final moments..
...he was in a place of such despair, always. And, prior to coming to a saving knowledge of the Lord...yet having found solace in fellowship...I had been glibly, adamantly insistent that "we have the power to control our own destinies and happiness." I only ever mentioned church. Never Christ. Not once. Not even once.
Because I expected that I knew what my friend's response would be...I never even tried. I just stopped talking to him, instead. Knowing it would be entirely impossible to talk to him without talking about Jesus, so refraining from talking at all rather than to deny the Lord. Afraid. Knowing it wasn't possible to converse without mentioning the Lord, then, so just withdrawing completely rather than even trying... ...it had just been so difficult, even, not to talk about church. So very, very difficult. And...church, as a place of solace. Tormenting to refrain from talking about it, to a minor extent. As opposed to talking about Christ...the deliverer of my soul who changed everything in my life, in an instant...? How much deeper the torment in attempting to refrain from mention.
I just...still on that, again. No.
I will do as the Lord bids. No matter how it terrifies me--He guides me through, He walks with me. He holds my hand through the entire process, including going so far as giving the words. So, I will do as He bids. Prayerfully. Not jumping ahead. But neither refraining from action. Just...as He bids.
I am terrified, every single time, to speak His name aloud in public. Terrified. But there just comes that peace which overwhelms that entirely, upon praying and surrendering. And whatsoever comes must...and is given. Even as there's generally the desire to share more, more boldly. Still, whatsoever the opportunity is...I pray. And sometimes, there's nothing more than to append "Lord willing" to a variety of statements. Or to mention prayer. Or to talk about church. Even longing to say more, so much more. Just...having been derided for how asinine it is to mentioning praying to someone who's not a Christian, recently, I am all the more reminded of the necessity of being a bolder witness.
But I can't do it, on my own terms.
I have to pray. The Lord has to give me the words...give me the boldness...give me the peace, as to even overcome the petrification which otherwise does entirely stifle even speech.
Prior to being converted, I'd been working at public speaking...working up to it. "Fake it till you make it," sort of strategy. Whereby I had been in positions which required speaking to crowds. Both at work, in a few instances, and given scholarly pursuits. Even partaking in such pasttimes as karaoke as a means of attempting to quell the terror of public "performance." I did do it. I did speak, and I did sing, publicly. Terrified, every time. Just...then, in the same sense which wandering down dark streets at 3am alone (literally) was undertaken. In defiance. In open opposition to the fear. Doing those things because of the fear. To "overcome" it.
That point never came. No matter how large the crowd--whether 1, 300, or 1000...the same fear. Now, it has to be surrendered to the Lord, is all. Rather than letting it control either entirely away from action or into defiant action, pre-emptive of the Lord's will.
Only by grace. I couldn't do it, otherwise. It's not within me, except that I abide in Christ, to be able to do anything except succumb to fear. Just...He overcame, so that I can share in His victory. So, I'll not let it control me, any longer. He will lead me, He will guide me, and when the time comes to do the things upcoming, He will give me all the necessary prompting at that very moment, and in each subsequent, so as to do.
...
Back to the other, though.
...
We all perpetuate an astonishing amount of unrecognized duplicity, internal. Much of which is vastly self-contradictory (thus, counter-intuitive ultimately). Only Christ can bring us out of that which is detrimental. According to His will for each of us. As He is the author and the finisher of our faith...He perfects it. Along whatsoever line or dynamic He so deems as well and good for each individual. A lot of the time, there's only so much that's necessary...there's only so much that's vital...there's only so much that's tenable. He does know what is best for each of us, and He won't put us in situations which we do not need.
Including situations of martydom, along those lines. Which...to be absent from the body is to be present with Christ, so being delivered into eternity...no matter the pain entailed on this side...still..
...the Lord knows.
But that which is tenable isn't restricted to physical matters. Discernment and allowance of tenable mental, emotional, and social experiences is also exercised along the same line.
...which had been pointed out to me, Monday, by a sister. All to His glory, to our good. So, as some may not be capable of enduring a relationship with the Lord which consists primarily in knowing His Spirit and laws and ways according to a lifelong devotion to the study and assimilation of theology according to doctrinal delineations, others may flourish best according to the working of their salvation in Christ thereby. Even as others may feel completely lost and terrified at the prospect of exercising a course of spiritual discernment unto direct experience of interaction with the Lord within the natural as accordant with Scripture--even going so far as to decry the possibility as ludicrous or heretical, depending upon the extent of unfamiliarity with the potential...while others may be wholly suited to that experience, even inclusive of doctrinal studies.
It all depends upon who we are. None of us tempted according to anything which isn't common. Yet all of us coming from slightly different places.
For instance...do you think a sufi mystic...a practicing witch doctor...and a building contractor...would all be equally equipped for a similar education by the Holy Spirit, past the point of having come to a saving knowledge of Christ? One...used to dwelling in the realm of esoteric philosophies laced with ritual practices...the next...accustomed to ritual exercises which result in supernatural manifestation of their will (for some, including direct communication with demonic entities)...the lattermost...generally used to acting in terms of money and time, to the exclusion of philosophy and the "supernatural." They can all know the Lord...they can all be instantaneously transformed into a new creature, spiritually, by the power of the Gospel. ...same Gospel, same Christ... ...but are they going to be best suited to serve Him in the precise same way? Each background varies significantly from the other, each is uniquely positioned to best be able to reach people who are of a more similar background to their own. The Lord can make ways where there are none, so...there's nothing to say that the converted witch-doctor wouldn't have an effective ministry to lawyers and the contractor have an effective ministry to practicing witches...
...nothing to say that, whatsoever. The Lord will do as He wills, and we need to be kept humble so as to be best suited to His work...
...not assuming.
Just...will each have the exact same understanding of Christ? I don't personally know, but suspect that the Lord will manifest Himself in each of us as is best suited to what our desire for Him is...according to our willingness to submit and love and worship Him, wholeheartedly.
I've heard a few evangelists talk about the difference in ministry between serving in America and serving in remote countries...whereby folks elsewhere are willing to believe God for miracles, and they are manifested. Whereas, in more "scientifically advanced" countries...people are so full of science they reject the notion of being healed. They reject the idea of God being sovereign, divine, and capable of all.
I hear it in the tones of folks, many places.
But who are we to say what God will and won't do?
Who are we to say that He's "no longer in the miracle business?"
Seriously.
And, yet...if that's as much as some people can handle--just the idea of the true, living God...
...without those sorts of manifestations of His presence as were wrought regularly in the times of the original apostles...recorded in Acts..
...if people are uncomfortable with the idea of those such things, why would the God who loves them and wants them near Him force them to accept that aspect? ...especially when there's such reverent fear and devotion to Him, regardless?
As is the converse also true...
But we all want to polarize God. We want to see and know and experience Him according to a limited set of standards. Not according to everything or just anything written and recorded in the Bible about various ways in which He has revealed Himself to people, in the past...
...but according to maybe just a couple of those ways He'd revealed Himself.
...or, to be safer...maybe just according to one of those ways.
There's an ongoing debate regarding the reverence due the Lord, in terms of how we had ought to even approach Him.
How about...howsoever He deems necessary or desirable, at a given moment?
How about...howsoever He warrants, for a given individual?
Preaching the Gospel, and trusting God to do the rest.
...I ask Him about Psalms a lot. There are manifold things therein. But the one thing which has just...confounded me..
...apparently, the Psalms, on one hand...are as an example to us, so that we can see how people have approached Him, in the past.
...and, I don't know about you all...but some of the stuff in there, reading it...I cringe in conviction over having been so short-sighted and self-centered and all such things...so irreverent...when I approach Him. But...again...there are those moments wherein I'm just too wrapped up in whatever nonsense has gotten in my head, there's nothing I can do but the likewise equivalent of a stream of self-pitying, other-resenting prayer for deliverance, just as to get through the moment.
But like one of the sisters at church told me an elder said, "He's a big God, He can handle it."
And there's no one else I'd rather take my mess to. No one else can do anything about it. He can. He lines me out. Gently, even. ...although there are times where a sharp rebuke isn't entirely out of order. Periodically.
Just...we have to go to Him. By whatever means. He won't leave us where He found us. But He'll meet us wherever we are. So long as we're searching for Him.
He found me in such a strange, terribly dark place. ...but He didn't leave me there. And the more time I spend with Him, the more precious and wonderful He is, to me.
So...there are certain things, still, which I hear and see others do in their relationship with Him which...just aren't right, for me. They don't jive with me. But...that doesn't necessarily mean they're wrong. Doesn't mean they'll never change, either. Even as it doesn't mean that my relationship with Him is any "better" than anyone else's. Not even if I can quote Scripture which "confirms" my relationship with the Lord...especially when given that the other can do the same.
There's just so much resentment, all around.
We all have a special relationship with Christ, any who has a relationship with Him has a special relationship with Him. Because it's personal. It's individual. It's private. No matter how distinctly we, any of us, could describe the ways and means and "logistics" of how it is between ourselves and the Savior... ...still, it would just be a personal testimony, not a description which will unwavering apply to each and everyone else who knows Him. Despite that there may be vast similarities.
...but, I don't know. My relationship with Christ is not such that He's ever translocuted me from one location to another, in defiance of basic tenets of time and space, as happened with Philip...or, at least, not to my knowledge. But, it's the same Christ, whom I know.
I've never raised a person from the dead, in the Lord's name, as did Paul...and Smith Wigglesworth...even though I serve and know the very same Christ Jesus.
Just...the descriptions of the experiences others have had with Him, with the risen Lord...make plain that they know Him on slightly different terms than I do. A more intimate, deeper relationship than my own, in those instances for sure. But, we can all aspire to that depth of fellowship, nonetheless.
Especially having the examples to strive toward.
...each as the Lord leads, is all. I would love to see that everyone would come into the same depth of fellowship with Christ as the Apostle Paul had, or as the Apostle Peter experienced...I would love to know Him so well, myself. But...what would it take? And would it require sacrifice of necessary duties, for those ordained to such duties? The Lord will order things as He sees necessary, to His glory and our good.
But who decides to what extent any gives unto one design or the other?
As far as it reads in Scripture, from all accounts it seems the work of the Holy Spirit is to ordain callings. Otherwise, wouldn't we all be teachers, since the Bible says such a thing is an office given? Or, wouldn't we all prophesy, since Paul said we had all ought to strive for the gift of prophecy? It's in the Bible, we're told to seek after the gifts. So, then, must it be all or none?
Without being able to methodologically determine who has what gift, according to naturally discernable means...has it thus become preferable to refute the reception of any gifts? ...since man has no "direct" means of telling, according to only Scripture...except as to be told that the gifts are given, and in other places read descriptions of what those gifts portionately entail...
Or, is it better to let the giver of the gift also yield the discernment of such a gift, unto the recipient. Thus, ordained by the Holy Spirit. Given and ordained.
People still passingly mention "callings" and "vocations," but how has such a thing become a concept yet distinct from the One who has "called?"
There are more questions than answers, right now. Except to constantly remember that the Holy Spirit does the work, and it's not necessary for me to either question or understand it in whole.
Which is well and good. Just to trust.
God bless you all.
No comments:
Post a Comment