Still confounded by theology.

Hm. There's a partial inclination toward sleep at this juncture, but no real impetus. Too much yet to do, considering the many hours spent elsewhere, today.

Learning about so many things, right now, and I have no idea why. Something will entirely randomly come to mind or catch my eye, and five hours later, there's been a perusal of three or four different topics to varying degrees of depth and intensity. He takes me to sites, and something will catch at my attention to the extent that there's no inclination to do else but read. ...considering, lately, that reading has been historical in nature? Yeah--not something which has ever been of interest, except now there's developed in me a fascination with the development of the church...of the Church.

No idea why.

Same as with theological considerations. They seem largely pointless, in terms of actually, legitimately fellowshipping with the Lord. Just...oh, what was it?...some 19th century book preliminarily perused earlier, regarding certain theological constraints of Methodism.. ..and it all makes sense, but it's ultimately just logical pursuit of an adequate expression for the infinitely  ineffable being and ways of God. Which, really--okay, there's absolutely and completely nothing wrong with that. Personally, there's a great deal of enjoyment wrought from spending time contemplating the Lord, as to find more vastly expressive and gloriously revelatory means of considering His majesty, to the umpteenth variety of degrees in means of approach.

It's a wondrously fulfilling past-time--contemplating the Lord. Meditating upon His precepts. Delighting in Him, even as to hope to somehow share that joy unto another beloved soul so as to revel in fellowship unto His glory!

But, increasingly, the more familiar He becomes to me (thus, ultimately, the more overwhelmingly awe-inspiring and fearsome and wonderful and beloved)...the less concern there is about adhering to distinctions which serve as points of disagreement, or even potential points of disagreement.

Just...the more clear and in-focus He becomes, the less sense it makes to adhere to perceptions of superiority or exclusion, according to my own expressed accounts of interpretation/appreciation of His majesty and His miraculous works. ...this, increasingly for realizing that even coming to know Him more nearly and dearly entails a broadening in scope and interpretation which refuses to be completely mired upon single points, in favor of seeking a greater degree of His Truth.

So, then, even knowing my own perspective is limited, moment-to-moment, by the yet-restricted breadths of my comprehension of His infinitude...howbeit one could then truly disdain someone else's interpretations or stances in regard to Him, truly? Rather, any points for potential concern serve moreover as a reminder of my own persistent foibles and need for prayer unto further deliverance into clarity of revelation. So, then, just to pray for them and for myself.

For the Lord is good, and mighty to save. He will deliver.

Lot of things being considered, in the above. Some gentle rebukes the Spirit has yet again, recently, given me. And meditation upon them, even as concerns the ideas considered last writing.

Because, yeah--I crave with all my heart to be whatsoever the Lord wills. And having read that He desired His people to be holy, as He is holy...then I yearn for that. Yet, even realizing the course is to remain in Him, spiritually, always...still, I need the grace as to do so. Which He will provide, per His will. Just...according to His will, as to time and development.

So many things going on. And there's nothing to be concerned about, because Jesus is sovereign. Just, my patience is yet being tried and tested--praise the Lord for His mercies! One step at a time, waiting on Him.

So, so many things.

God bless you all.

...

Addendum*

Okay, so after reading the Scriptures given for this, a moment's more to write.

Not sure at what juncture or if any discussion of various circumstances regarding demonic oppression have been covered, these past many months...aside of mentioning the hearing and such of certain things...

...but, research this evening yielded way to a blog by someone who, by all accounts, legitimately has insight. To what end, I don't know. But...well, when I'd sought counsel in regard to the oppression/possession of a family member from a pastor, back in August/September, I was told I had the authority to handle it, myself. And...well, yeah.

Any of us who are believers do, and if this sort of stuff is going to continue manifesting (with discernment of the state of things given by the Holy Spirit), then perhaps the course is set to learn. Just, same as likely anyone, there's been a yearning to have someone with whom direct verbal exchange can be made, as regards these matters. I'm...not sure...about the eventual permissibility of discussing these things with the spiritual leaders at the church I've been attending, recently. I keep asking about it, after the fact, and getting a resounding "No." Without any indication of why or whether it's a time-sensitive disclosure, yet awaiting the proper passage of time. ...so as not to be yielded to the great inquisition, in regard to discussing such matters, for one.

One of these days, that's likely going to happen. No point inciting it, pre-emptively.

...

Just to say...because, retrospectively, it still is somewhat humbling, in an amusing sort of way.

The looks people give, when they ask for justification or rationalization or explanation for some action, course of action, or perspective which doesn't whatsoever make sense by any apparent rationale... ...and the only response they receive, on any count, is a completely chipper, very assured, "Oh, I prayed about it!" followed by a modest smile and curt nod, without any further comment...

...those looks never get through in the moment they're received. But, in retrospect, the speechless perplexity evoked, seeming universally...?

Very strange, considering.

I mean, seriously. If you're going to pray about something--a decision or action of any sort, especially--then aren't you either going to wait on a response or just not act, if you're resolved to do whatsoever is the will of the Lord?

Granted, it means exercising patience. And remaining in prayer. And trusting in the Lord. And waiting upon Him in all things, ultimately.

But what's all that, compared to knowing that through faith can we please the Lord, and that obedience is better than sacrifice, to Him? Seriously.

Not that it's a particular forte, no, but...it's just been beat into my head, over the course of having been lavished with mercy...that my plans come to naught but destruction (largely self-destruction, always). And, given that Jesus Christ is my Lord...and that He is wonderful, and faithful, and loving, and all works to the good of those who love Him...it just kind of follows that His plans for me are far preferable to any bit of nonsense I might contrive, apart from Him.

Which, again, entails a lot of exercise of patience, so to do. Like now.
But...there's such joy to be found in waiting on the Lord, as a time to seek Him ardently, too.

So, really--total win-win. Even given that one particular circumstance as currently on hold, pending His revealed direction, is one which wholly tends (pretty universally) toward a great deal of anxiety. But, no. I refuse. It's an opportunity to trust Him, and He has never failed me.

He is faithful. Always. And He's faithful in this, too.
Merely, I'm just periodically giving into bits of impatience.
Terrible.

No more of that. He'll provide, as He always has--by whatsoever means He wills.
Hallelujah, for His goodness!