There's always more to a thing than precursory glances allow, even as there's more than ongoing study affords--there's always more, another level of revelation, with absolutely anything which remotely concerns the Lord and His ways and even knowledge of His ways.
He's infinite, so that's just part of the pursuit of Him.
Yet, it's been such a stumbling-block to become confounded around that realization, time to time--wanting so much for there to be an ultimate, finally comprehensive say on relative matters. Like marriage, and eschatological pursuits, and the nature of the Church, and the development of Believers, and the process of Salvation, and even on the extent of comprehending the nature of the work Christ accomplished incarnate, crucified, and resurrected. There seems possible an endless pursuit unto continual revelation in regard to everything which is the Lord's. Which...makes sense, entirely, but is so easy to lose sight of when fixating on a particular point of consideration...especially when it's something of a particular fascination, apparently.
I have to be careful of that. Sometimes it seems like certain fascinations in pursuit of knowledge of the Lord become so pressing that I start to lose sight of the Lord, Himself. If that makes any sense, put that way...
...just, like especially with eschatology, for example. Going so far into studying various theories and expositions on end-time prophecy and revelation...past a certain point, more emphasis becomes given to learning more and more about the way the prophecy is playing out in the world than is given to the sovereignty and majesty of the Lord as He who has given all which is of the fact of latter day events even being a "thing."
When the study, itself, takes precedence over my focus on the Lord...I have to go back to the Word as a whole, and to prayerful meditation upon the all, and into prayerful devotion and worship of the Lord, Himself, and communion with Him.
The fixation on marriage has been like that, all my life--something which just overtakes consideration of all else, throwing proper reverence and perspective out the window, when it comes through the door. So, yeah, that's kind of why hearing mention of it from so many quarters (of which you all have no means of knowing, except that I tell you it's been from so many sides, random)...hearing it mentioned so often in the past few weeks has been something which has ended up being a temptation to fret given into anxiety. A misstep on my account, in other words, to even be upended over the whole idea.
Thing which is the worst about it all, in retrospect, seems that in so compromising my focus on the Lord as to be in any fashion emotionally involved in the consideration...I've wrought variance unto any interpretation which comes. Maybe slight, but still...
...even if only in such a capacity that perspective is stunted...that it's wholly limited to merely what I've been willing to consider. Not to say that the bits considered don't encompass some amounts of the Lord's truth on the matter, but still...to have seen it as finite, in any capacity, is to have deviated from Him. Through emotionalism, largely.
It's so frustrating, as there's nothing can be done to get beyond that limitation in perspective except to pray and continue to seek the Lord even more ardently (for having realized internal blockade to revelation of Him, moreover). He'll deliver me from those blockades. He'll bring me to repentance and to healing, in whatever ways are necessary and good, as to be able to come to deeper revelation of Him. But to experience those stumbling-blocks is still painful in the immediate.
Gladly so, though, given that it inspires desire to pray through as necessary.
Something realized just a little while ago--I keep thinking about wanting desperately to somehow relay to a couple of folks who are in dire straits, unable to communicate verbally, the hope and promise in mentally communicating to Jesus what their needs are...because He'll fulfill those needs, then. Realized the truth of that. Prayer can move mountains. So long as we don't ask amiss--so long as we're not asking for stuff just to sate fleshly lusts and pride...then, asking in faith, we do receive all we ask for. And usually so much more, honestly.
Jesus always tends such precious care to one's needs.
And I don't know how well-applied the term actually is, to one who is eternal, but His patience exceeds comprehension. Just...He is so faithful, there's no means of even beginning to understand.
So many things, these past few weeks. And there are some things which...it would be nice, in one sense, to be able to talk about here...but, there's no peace with the idea of doing so. So, no doing.
Given all else and sundry that's been given to write here, that is absolutely mind-boggling at this juncture, but...I don't have to understand, just obey.
He has reasons which exceed our ability to reason. Thus, the best choice is always to trust His judgment. On all things.
That's such a strange thought, to me, every time it comes up. Just per the implications surrounding the saying. Telling Him that I trust His judgment... .
..as opposed to?
Seriously.
Just, it continually highlights how utterly fallible and weak-minded I am, every time. To even continually reach a point where it comes to mind to say, "I trust You," and "I trust Your judgment," to the one who gives my every breath. Kind of the core of the matter, as regards the difficulty we all seem to have in even now relating to Him...despite His indwelling Presence, the Holy Spirit. Even being indwelt by the Holy Spirit, still there's some weird disconnect between our spirit and our mind...our heart and our mind...wherein, somehow, we still manage to doubt.
Seriously--think about it. The God of the Universe lives, speaking as a witness to Truth, within you...guiding you into all truth and comforting you and reminding of all things the Lord has ever said...and that's a constant, upon conversion.
A constant. Jesus said so, and so it is. When we come to Jesus as our Savior, knowing the truth of His being God Incarnate, then dying on the cross as propitiation for our sins, overcoming death, hell, and the grave, resurrecting the third day, now ascended to heaven, reigning forever...once we know Him as such, He said we would receive the Holy Spirit, within.
So, the God of the Universe lives within us as a constant witness to our own spirit...and yet, somehow, in some completely warped fashion...we still manage to doubt.
How does that even...
It's some sort of perverse indulgence into surroundings, rather than reliance upon Truth.
The Holy Spirit is always witnessing to Jesus, directing to Him, and all which the Lord says is given unto us via the Holy Spirit. And yet we still doubt. It's such a tragedy, and worth much supplication, even as there had ought be constant rejoicing in the Presence of the Lord, indwelling.
Seriously.
I mean, how absolutely mind-blowingly phenomenal is that, even? ...the one who created us, who created everything, who loves us beyond all ability to even begin to comprehend, and who is guiding us and perfecting us and sanctifying us to Himself...is constantly with us, as dwelling within us. Always there. No matter what. No matter what we do. No matter where we go. No matter how horrible we act.
Along a more distended course, honestly, even the unsaved are constantly in the presence of the Lord, as He's omnipresent. He knows all. He sees all. And I can't even imagine the extent to which some things surely grieve Him, given the provision He has made for all unto salvation. And His wrath, even... ...I can't imagine how it's stoked against certain things. What a fearful thought. And people continue on, completely oblivious. Completely oblivious. Having been given over to a reprobate mind, as their lusts were wont.
He's always there, is the thing. Whether we accept Him or not--doesn't change a thing. He's still there. He's still God Most High. He's still entirely sufficient unto Himself, needing nothing yet having created and sought us unto Himself. No matter what we do, He doesn't waver.
No matter what we don't do, even. He's still who He is. All which He ever said He was, and will be forever. And I still can't wrap my mind around that, even to begin.
That's what makes it all the more heart-rending to see so many who outright reject even consideration of Him. That's what makes it all the more grievous to hear so many mock and taunt and ridicule His glorious name.
As though a child were laughing about trying to poke an untamed lion with a firebrand. It's only the patience of that majestic being which stays obliteration for such ignorance and blatant disrespect...mercy and grace abounding.
And yet folks somehow are distressed when suffering comes to themselves or others in the world...despite that so many people are actively running around, effectively throwing live cobras at all and sundry, by living in ways which constitute blatant defiance of God's will and His holiness.
We're the ones who've wrought havoc, who've unleashed chaos, who've unchained the vipers and lions upon the plains...by living in any-kind opposition to goodness, which is of God. We unleash that..."butterfly effect"-style.
Always, always, then...the prayer that He draws more and more unto Himself, for His name's sake...to His glory. That's the only comfort. That's the only cure. Being restored to fellowship with the Lord.
God bless you all. I'm just praying that we all continue to experience a higher degree of discipline in our means, methods, and experiences of fellowshipping with the Lord, in all ways, as to ever progress into deeper and more whole-hearted communion with Him.
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