One Step at a Time, That's All

Coming through so many things right now. A place of further surrender and trust.

One thing the Lord has made increasingly vital over course of the past many months is that there comes a point where trusting Him is known and realized as the only actual option for proceeding. Up to a certain point of surrender--seeking His guidance and depending upon Him--there's still easy possibility of conjuring up ideas of "self-sufficiency" and "independent ability to perceive what's necessary."

Put another way, walking with Him--walking in surrender and dependence, needing His help for every step--past a point the waters are too deep except to just keep one's eyes on Jesus or otherwise completely be overwhelmed in the sea and by the waves. Walking with Him at the shoreline, comparatively, there's still a sense of security in self--there's awareness that if eyes are taken off of Christ, the depths are perhaps ankle or knee deep and possible to walk through without divine intervention. Which...is misguided, a misunderstanding of the state of the world's fallenness, at core.

Really, what's then "stood upon" is the delusions which previously held sway. Not a solid or steady foundation as "ground." But a return to the delusions rife in all the world--perhaps played out in varying ways, to varying degrees and per varied expression, yet fundamentally the same--arisen per perceived self-reliance apart from God. Worshipping the creature rather than Creator, given over to the delusions preferred.

Point being, whether walking with Jesus along the shoreline or upon the sea at its greatest depths, the only place of solidity and security and safety and direction is of keeping one's eyes and heart and mind focused on Him. Period.

Yet, He keeps us. Those who are His. He directs us in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Not as a public showing, either. But as a matter of His own integrity. He doesn't have to prove Himself in front of others. He has, already: He created this world and ordained its order and the generation of each and every one to ever exist. He is His own proof. Self-replete. We are the ones who aren't complete in and of ourselves. We're only complete as we're restored to right relationship with Him. And that, by the grace of Christ's work on the cross and resurrection, is a work He has ordained to be enacted over the course of each our lives as we walk with Him in and into eternity.

In, given that if we know Him we exist in Him--joined to Him spiritually, having died with Him on the cross. To know Him is to have eternal life. So we are seated with Him in heaven, even as we're still walking out our lives in the flesh here, too. Learning of Him, along the while. Learning trust, learning to rejoice in the midst of absolute turmoil and grief. Learning surrender in the midst of heartache and loss and devastation. Learning humility under the weight of misrepresentation, misunderstanding, and persecutions. Learning love and compassion along the while of being mistreated, abused, betrayed, and abandoned. Learning to live for Him, alone, in the midst of temptations on all sides to seek our own and to seek that which the world touts as utmost necessity to basic survival, or otherwise to die.

It's not a matter of giving up, though there is surrender to Christ and giving up in His direction. But it's a matter of learning to love Him, having come to love Him more than life and everything in this world. Just to long to love Him more. Trusting Him to direct, instruct, correct, guide, and provide whatever is necessary. Even as with Paul, who was without food, shelter, and even clothing at times, still recognizing the prosperity possessed in Christ and trusting Him to provide and direct to whatever is necessary at the times needed. Even as through work. Even as through receiving. Even as through unexpected provisions of goods and needs, by means which make sense only in context of realizing our God is the one who truly owns everything which exists. He may not call it all for collection at every moment of every day, but it is all His. Period.

So wading through, now, ankle deep but kept aloft by His love. Confusions still swim around me, but I know my God will restore me to where He would have me be. And I will wait upon His mercies, though I still flail a bit and flounder. Except that He holds me suspended, still, I'd have many times had the waters come and stay above my head. Though my gaze wanders, then, seeking purchase in the midst of circumstances which are beyond anything I can handle solitarily--battles within, difficulties surrounding, and so much which is unknown and painful--yet, still, He grasps my hand and pulls me back from sinking entirely. He is with us in the storm. Even if He comes walking alongside and somewhat veiled in the midst of the fog, still He's there. Always. Bidding us come, walk with Him. One step at a time. Just onward.