Something which has been passingly pondered on for months has regarded the way of being able to freely interact with those who don't know Christ.
That was a serious stumbling block, for a long while last year, given particulars of the way He led through conversion and initial sanctification. The clear, strong knowledge of the fate for those who don't ever come to know Christ in this life was (and still is) a heart-wrenching prospect.
Especially having come to know Christ in such a way as to have been shown that years of believed salvation were yet with only a mental nod to Him, while my heart yet despised Him. Having come to Him, at first, out of desperation to save my life...without regard for who He is or what it means to acknowledge Him as Lord.
I don't understand the process, and far finer minds than mine have long studied the Way of Christ, regarding salvation at regeneration...
...but the stopping point, now, has been in recognition of His sovereignty in these matters.
Not to make an argument either for or against "election," as it's commonly regarded, but such a cut-and-dry expression which seems oft moreso to serve as the basis for a persistent sense of superiority rather than unto that much further a debasement of self, into an utter humility for receiving so incomprehensible a gift...
...I can't help but wonder at such proper logic's tendency to reinforce separations, rather than instilling a greater compassion for those who are yet unconverted. For such a thing to exalt self rather than Christ and Godly love...
...or is it only that we improperly view, in such way as to exalt self?
Regardless, the result is what speaks. And to desire salvation for all, in so much as the Father would give...doesn't generally seem to allow for simultaneous contemplation of how only certain ones will come through.
He didn't call us to make those distinctions, though, even as He does and will sometimes show confirmation or make clear that a one is not yet converted. Still, we aren't the one who has called or predestined. Whosoever He has known would be His prize...well--He knows. We don't. We were only given the Commission to go to all the peoples of the earth. The highways and the byways. All nations.
He draws people from all walks and ways of life, as it goes. Whereas, we moreso (oft) prefer to gravitate to those we feel an affinity for or a kinship with, from appearances or superficial similarities or particular circumstances which arouse compassion. Even if these things only in effect, and not consciously done--still, those prejudices we're yet unaware of do play out in our tone, cadence, syntax, and body language. And may as oft be just as unconsciously interpreted, impactful.
So, if there's any part of us, then, which has a belief in "election" as something we can have prescience in regard to...whether acknowledged or not, whether conceived only in the darkest reaches of the heart yet being sanctified...then, still, but for grace that will impact our interactions. Even unto an ever-pressing urge to "discern" whether someone truly has been converted or not, for sake of satisfying our own curiosities, unto a desire for certainty...the tainting of a desire for His love to be known, having come under bearing of a(n if not stronger, then still persisting) desire to exert understanding unto ability to classify His work, classify people...according to our own understanding.
Rather than solely of love for Christ and love for others.
Why else would we be so admonished, throughout what comprises the New Testament, to test ourselves? We are to judge fruit, but if there's any bit of convolution thereabouts and therein, in terms of a worldly understanding, according to desire to classify rather than edify in Christ...there's some weirdness there which begs severe inquiry in light of Scripture and prayer.
And counsel, perhaps. Sound counsel, though.
Which...itself...is a whole other jar of potatoes (to totally obfuscate an idiom, as means of attempting to relay the nature of the thing).
So...where I have been, in other words...for these past many months, in part...is in the land of discrimination, according to these lines. Differentiating for the sake of classifying into "wrong" and "right" boxes, cum "sound" and "false."
When the truth apparently is moreso that while there are blatant points of falsehood, the truth itself being utterly narrow...it also still have such precise application to such an interminable array of wholly distinct circumstances (which many times oft are distinguishable only by minutiae, in practice and effect, rather than in appearance)...that Christ has to be sought in each and every single one, for His truth, His direction, His guidance, and foremost perhaps...His love come to bear on the situation.
Like as with Job, in a very broad and extreme case of example. Again, for recent mention.
His friends did speak truth, in part. But the truth they spoke had no bearing on the situation they were attempting to so-label and classify. Only, because of what seemed to them as utmost apparent indications that the truths they spoke were in fact and deed applicable to Job's situation...as a matter of reason and logic...
...without having sought God, first, they did effectively misspeak, missclassify, and malign God.
By speaking truth, in error.
I mean, seriously, how dire a warning should that peal for us all? I can't help but be humbled to note that folks who were apparently bosom buddies of Job, who was counted blameless by God, Himself...thus, who themselves much have in some measure walking (in general) in ways akin to Job's, as even to be so counted as utmost friends by him...
...that they would have knowledge of truth and yet so easily and readily misapply it, for having only seen what, by all accounts apparent, seemed to indicate those truths did apply...while yet completely erroneously spoken?
God had Job intercede for them, so they might be restored to His good graces. And even Job was set down by God, for so directly calling Him to account...even as He was ultimately, simultaneously given such grace as to be...basically, in way...justified by so doing. Justified, but not without being utterly humbled by the truth of He Whom he had called to account.
That is a weighty idea. Terrible and tremendous and terrifying. And yet, the Lord, Himself, calls us to reason with Him, through Isaiah. Resounding through the ages, this call stands. Come, let us reason together.
Nothing we say or do can diminish who He is and how He is, is all. Whether we rail against Him or abjectly worship in light of the truth of who He is.
So, neither is truth seriously and irreconcilably diminished by a wrong application. Merely those who so do are called to answer for so doing, as according to understanding rather than God-led and directed application, as apt.
He is the line, though.
Just as goes these things, regarding consideration of others...
...He is the One who can and would make the change, when any comes. Not us, never us. Even our obedience, to any extent it exists in spirit and truth...is only a product of His will. Ultimately.
Which, yet, isn't to say that we aren't called and directed and chastised and expected to walk in obedience, even as Christ walks. Just, we can only do so in the power of the Holy Spirit, and not according to the flesh.
There's something which gets lost in translation, though, in terms of the seeming implication that free will doesn't come to bear, at all. He gave us free will. He does not revoke it, when we come to Him. Merely, someone who has been turned to truly know Him then does desire to do His will, to worship Him, to honor Him, to glorify Him, to obey His will...as knowing He is good, and loving, and that His will IS good, regardless whether we are any-moment capable of knowing the impact or effect or reason of particular calls to act or wait to act.
We can still choose not to seek His will, is the thing. We can still choose to lean upon the arm of the flesh, in seeking to understand for the sake of understanding--for the sake of seeking to console a "seeming uncertainty" which arises from the conflict between spirit and flesh, in ways.
He yet works in and through. Nonetheless, in some way incomprehensible.
Same as the working of grace in the lives of all of humanity is incomprehensible...even as to be born is a miracle, no matter how it seems commonplace. Same as to experience any peace is grace...any love...and clarity...and even momentary silence. Grace, still.
That we haven't all demolished one another...is grace.
There's just something there, which I don't understand, and I'm not sure it is comprehensible in finite terms. Not without in ways...unnecessary and "limiting"...somewhat obscuring the scope of effect and process.
Because words make distinctions along lines which sometimes aren't precisely fitted, as comprehensively, expansively apt to all circumstance.
seeming so, at least
I just don't understand how we would expect to understand God? I mean, we can definitely remark, after the fact. We can definitely make commentary on what patterns seem to prevail. And yet, given that He has, over time, done "new things," and perhaps even some of those "new things" He said He was going to do...are yet being unfolded (seriously)...then how can we expect to conceive of, comprehensively with finite understanding, those things which have yet to come into being?
Prophecy wasn't as much proscriptive as descriptive in terms of being able to understand that judgment was coming, salvation was coming, and that we would know it was Him after the fact, because we would then be able to see how His recorded Word so precisely described what would unfold. In ways which wouldn't have necessarily even been capable of being grasped from the outset, for an absolute lack of point-of-reference from which to comprehend those things which had yet to come into being--effectively incapable of making concrete sense, prior to coming to pass as even a part of reality.
Like with most of what He revealed. It seems, from preliminary consideration, superficial appearance...to be prescriptive. But if you consider it in the sense in which it was given, you realize that's not so...that understanding can only come after experience, as experience makes it clear that those Words given as self-revelation by God were to, after experience, stand as proof that He is the One who brought the incomprehensible into being. If it had been capable of being fully comprehended prior to effectively coming to pass, in other words, then that alone would have stood as evidence somewhat to the contrary. But since it the prophetic revelation didn't even really make sense until after the fact of coming to pass, then being revealed as having occurred, all points align unto understanding.
As a very rough example, think in terms of...say...parenthood (which still isn't the best example, given I'm not a parent, and have only gathered this from talking with others)...
...from what I hear, it's one of those things...the love for one's child, especially...which, no matter how much you "know" about it, in advance, is still so utterly eclipsed by the actual experience that foreknowledge just seems to have had no relation to reality, whatsoever. It gave a very loose, general idea of what would be experienced, but when experience became reality, what seemed knowledge before becomes something which barely even could hold a candle to the truth of impact and effect and circumstance. In all ways. You hear the words, you think you know what they mean, but until you actually experience the reality loosely described...you really have absolutely no idea.
Every bit of revelation of Christ has been like that. I heard the words, I thought I knew. I thought so many things about what those words seemed to mean, having had what I considered sufficient breadth of knowledge, understanding, and experience to truly begin to shed light on "truth." But I had no idea whatsoever.
None.
It's just like described, in ways. But at the same time, it would be like comparing the love for pumpkin spice lattes to the love experienced by a mother upon first holding her newborn (from what I hear). The words have a superficial appearance of conveying a similar meaning, but are so completely different in effect and practice that there's really basically no inherent relation.
Which just really goes, in ways, to say that everything I thought I knew, before coming to know Christ...was pretty much just entirely shallow, hollow, empty, and vain.
And even then, I cannot undermine what was then, really. Merely, the statement is made as a matter of drawing attention to how much different all things seem, in light of coming to know truth in Christ.
We only know what we know, at any given moment. So, there isn't a call for despising the day of "small beginnings," and such, as with Zechariah. Quite the opposite.
Humbly regard with appreciation whatever light there is. Because there's blessing in knowing grace, whatsoever, as to have any understanding.
Just...there is a depth to be sought. And it can't be known until traversed, for the wealth of what experience unveils. Just, still not despising the day of small beginnings.
Ever.
When, if, how, where, and in which ways He leads...are His domain. And except that He give particular, individual revelation upon any such a one as goes unto Him...then, how can we know the precise and individual processes which are actually being worked, internal? Except as to perhaps observe changes. Or to remark upon the effective process as a whole. But still without observing or comprehending every single thought brought into subjection to Christ, as every enemy power (even of the flesh) is brought under His Lordship, replete.
So, to interact with just anyone, then? What would be the rule, except love and truth spoken in love, even as however given of a moment.
Not forsaking Christ and the Gospel, of course, to the end of attempting not to "rock the boat," but spoken with words and in ways that witness to and testify of His power and love and holiness and glory. Shedding light, even thereby, upon our own depravity and insufficiencies apart from Him.
He, alone, can make that make sense. He, alone, can change a heart. Mental assent is insufficient. Even as required.
He wins the whole person, though. Not just the mind. Not just the heart. Not just the soul. But all.
Bit by precious bit. To His love, to His glory.
The strongest rebukes I've recently heard upon the state of things have come through someone who speaks with such love that it's heart-rending to hear. For being truth. And a pleading. An admonishment. And a drawing. An unveiling of a wound. While also a salve.
Do we speak in this way?
Lovingly, of Christ.
And as He wills.
Sometimes, just to listen.
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