There's a freedom found in fearing the Lord which eclipses everything. Being awe-struck with terror at the realization of His complete awareness and power, of His absolute knowledge and intimate awareness of every aspect of our being, and His total control over our continued existence and that of all else--realizing everything is subject to Him and sustained by Him, realizing His power to such extent as experiencing the truth of our absolute vulnerability in context of His absolute sovereignty...
...frees from self-regard, eclipses all temptations, and drives darkness back. He does this. Pursuing knowledge of Him as to fear Him more than anything else...releases us from fear and being prey to other things. Releases us from the powers of temptations which attempt to get us to doubt, to become bitter, to question, to chart our own course, and all else of temptation, too--all is silenced by remembrance of who He is: Who God is. Who Christ is, in truth.
See our Lord in John's Revelation--in a robe stained with blood. Enacting vengeance, which is His to do. And giving warning. Warning us to return to our first love. Warning us to ask Him for our sustenance, to ask Him to refine our faith, to ask Him to give us true wealth--knowledge of Him, dependence upon Him. Warning that otherwise we will be lost and will suffer the consequences.
He loves us too much to be dishonest with us about the consequences we entreat and face unless we repent. He loves us enough to continually remind us of the truth of who He is. All of us are reminded, though--no one has an excuse, it's written: Creation displays the truth. The gospel is proclaimed night by night, written in the stars. The truth is here and everywhere else, too: He loves us enough to have ensured we are confronted with the truth of who He is and what He's done, regardless our attempts to deny reality, reject Him, and suppress truth.
He doesn't force us to accept truth, but He doesn't cease presenting the truth despite that we prefer the lie. Because He loves His creation, His creatures.
His love is an all-consuming fire, though.
Nothing remains unchanged, when entering His love. Just as fire transforms--transmutes, even--wherever and however He finds us, He does meet us there, but we are changed if indeed we have entered into loving relationship with Him.
We are altered, rather. Bit by bit. But significantly.
Truth changes us. And I still am asking for clarity regarding the way (ways) He works through His Scriptures--I've heard of people who read and are further confirmed in their denial of Him, and it was a brief pursuit which also turned me further away from Him in youth...but even that, I guess, constitutes change: Just clearly evidencing what was already present. Not as though there was no conviction of truth, but just that the preference for delusion was more steadfastly grasped and proclaimed thereafter.
He does use His Word. It's not as though there's an instance where reading His Word won't have some effect--even if it's not apparent, is all. The changes effected are not under our control. But effected just per course that's how He is and what He's intended, what He promises to do...His work.
I do tend to become wrapped up in lamentation of our (mankind's) tendency to see God's work and consider ourselves effecting it, where it comes to His Scripture, especially. And I tend to respond against the proclamation of man's ability and control by going too far unto denouncing the effective workings of God through His Scriptures: It does not sit well that so many view His Word as existing somehow apart from Him, as independently knowable--likewise viewing creation and each of us as apart from Him, distinctly able to act and think without requiring Him for each and every bit: "Doing our part,"-sort of thing, as though somehow anything we do is apart from Him. It's a duplicitousness that's partially blind, is all. But none of us see entirely clearly.
So it's His place to clarify and to open our eyes to truth. We haven't the words. But He does. And I trust Him to use them. Because of the depth of His love and goodwill toward those who are His, especial.
Knowing Him for who He is, though. That puts things in perspective. Casts down every imagination. Submitting to Him, as such...temptation does vanish. Submitting to Him, as resisting the devil...the devil flees from Him.
Just, as go those imaginations which exalt themselves against Him--without having a clear and solid hold on truth, imaginations and doubts and fears begin to take on a power all their own. Without being solidly and firmly positioned in the truth of God, rooted and grounded in Him, everything begins to seem relative to perspective. Good will begin to seem equally weighted to evil. And vice versa. Things begin to seem as though they could easily be argued reasonably from all sides when truth isn't solidly and firmly grasped.
God Himself is the point of determination. Apart from relying on Him, wholly, the truthfulness of all else can't be well gauged. Everything does seem equal apart from solid reference to truth, is all. And the truth is in Him. Departing from reliance upon Him, knowledge of Him, we can just as easily fall prey to calling good evil and evil good as did the nation of Israel. Even having His Scriptures and paying heed to the offerings required.
A matter of heart, though. We're either actively being hardened or renewed--which is it, then?
Part of being so concerned with these things has been concentric about a longing for truth in interaction. With sincere concern, with respect. Compassionate of the pain engendered.
Just...it seems so often that truth is avoided, for fear: Fearing harsh response. Fearing rejection. Fearing humiliation. Fearing vulnerability. Fearing consequences. Just...fearing. Where's the love, in that? If we can't bring ourselves to love one another enough to be honest with one another, then what sort of love do we have? And it's also heart-wrenching to have truth only be partially implied and not spoken forthrightly. Because, then, there's still uncertainty which gives place to suspicion and confusion.
That "sort" of truth provides room for all sorts of footholds for the enemy to use. So I have a difficult time considering it arisen out of love or per the Lord.
The Lord doesn't shy away from painful truths. He doesn't shy away from ones which humiliate us. Not because He doesn't care about the pain and humiliation we endure. But because He does care about our well-being. He endured humiliation, shame, public torment and mockery and rejection and shame, and the punishment due us, bearing our sins in order to make a way to bring us into truth. And He is able to sympathize with our public mortification and humiliation and shame and griefs, having endured them Himself...enduring them for us, moreover. And He's now able to sympathize with us in these matters when we're confronted with all manner of circumstances and even hard truths which inspire shame, grief, humiliation, or anything else painful to bear. He's there with us, in the midst, to guard and guide us to bear through to freedom--to bear through in submissive, loving obedience to Him which isn't ultimately swayed by circumstances. Loving truth rather than our own lives.
And it's not a trivial matter, to speak truth, either. These are some heavily emotional, grievous experiences wrought, per truth. Even suffering--but unto rejoicing, being freed from delusions. Just...because there's such potential for invoking pains, griefs, shames...we need all the more to trust Him to guide in speech. We need all the more to require Him to guide, even longing for truth. Longing to know and to speak truth, yet awaiting His guidance as to walk in love enough to be able to speak bluntly the hardest truths which no one else possesses love enough as to voice with compassion.
Fear and self-interest leave all sorts of room for dissimulation and for avoidance. But if we love one another, we'll entreat one another forthrightly and respectfully and compassionately, so not to increase shame, increase humiliation, increase the pains of being confronted with truths that are hard.
One of the teachers I used to sometimes listen to spoke of the love required to be equipped to speak truth--as with a parent who is grieved the entire time they discipline their child, grieving over the pain they know their child is enduring while driven by love of the child to discipline them, knowing it must be done in order to approach a greater purpose. Then same of being honest with one another: Driven by love. Motivated by love. Grieving the process, per love. Loving, all the while. And if imperfectly, then taking moments of faltering unto the Lord, crying out for forgiveness and for help. Because of love.
Love of Him and of others.
It grieves not to be given the gift of honesty, then. Just as it grieves not to give the gift of honesty. Not perfectly done by any of us, anyway. But to continually only have others hint at truth but never speak it, to only have what seems like attempt to insinuate truths--left entirely in the realm of plausible deniability--is a very worldly thing. And we all do it. We all do. Usually under guise of being kind to others or kind to ourselves.
Good intentions don't make something right, though.
But fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. And such wisdom will guide us in how to act rightly. Ever so much as being actively in submission to God--of fear and love--though. Waiting upon His guidance, still...is wisdom.
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