Prayers

Just a very brief note is all that's intended (hopefully, but however the Lord wills) right now...

Jesus has been answering so many prayers, quickly and explicitly, recently. He said He would, once He had ascended--so to further be glorified, to glorify the Father. So long as we ask, believing. And so long as it's in accord with His will, from what James epistle mentions.

But, asking...believing.

And isn't there even something He said, about where two touch in agreement, that it would be done as they ask?

So, either way--whether individually or jointly.

He's answered so many recent prayers, so many long-standing prayers are beginning to manifest answers, and He's revealed Himself active in other situations which are yet being prayed over.

Of the latter, when you're issued a multi-faceted death threat by one who also says--within the same conversation--they "know Peter and Paul but don't know you"...a death threat against continuing to pray for for someone? *ahem* Life threatened if you continue to pray?

Yeah, that's a pretty explicit indication that Jesus is actively answering those prayers and that continual prayer will be answered.

Because the Lord is in control. He's the one who matters, anyway--not me, I just happen to serve Him. And act on His behalf, as He leads me, when He so directs.

He's the one that matters. And that's all that matters, to me.

Fasting and praying. For reals. It's far under-appreciated and too easily undermined in this present age...despite that Jesus said His disciples would fast when He departed.

Fasting means different things for different folks, though, and when it's of the Lord it's beneficial. It exercises discipline, bringing the will of the flesh into subjection to the will of the Spirit, as requiring prayerful seeking of the Lord for strength even as to refrain from giving in.

Prior to coming to know Christ, there were instances when fasting was a thing done so to survive dire emotional traumas (before alcohol became the go-to and thereafter, compulsive). It helped overcome the pain, helped weather the pain.

And in some way that's much more effective now, when done unto Christ, rather than just as an attempted means to trump emotional pain with physical struggle...there's a freedom from anxieties, stresses, and other emotional burdens, which far surpasses what once occurred. Because the freedom isn't unto a temporary "calm," but unto a greater experience of the presence of Christ, as pressing in toward His peace even as to maintain the fast.

He has to lead, though, or it doesn't work out. Even if it's a fast from...say...Facebook. Or donuts. Or coffee. Or food (but not water--the point of the fast isn't to threaten one's life, after all, but to draw nearer to God: drawing nearer to Jesus Christ certainly doesn't entail reckless endangerment, as a general rule, particularly given that self-control/discipline and a sound mind are fruits of the Holy Spirit).

Whatever, the point is being driven more fully to a conscious reliance on Christ as to weather a thing (in my case, generally). So to overcome darkness, to break bonds. Or, as He put it...as to have more to share with others who are hungry and in need (spiritually or physically, moreover). And to be available to those in need. On God's terms, always.

That lattermost is of particular importance right now, in my present life and circumstances. There's a great temptation to rush into a situation with family, to attempt to apply band-aids, so-to-speak...just for the sake of easing a pain. It hurts to know loved ones hurt. But the greater need is for the Lord. And He wounds so as to heal, sometimes. He uncovers festering wounds so as to even begin to cleanse and bind them, often. Even as He allows them to fester, just so that we might see how deep is our need of Him, unto total surrender.

I keep being reminded of how He drew me, those last couple months up to regeneration, spiritual rebirth. Being completely incapacitated--emotionally, spiritually, physically, socially, and financially. Completely incapacitated. Hadn't become homeless, but was looking at that as a very real possibility...in a moment of stark pain and devastating reality, being confronted with the possibility of partial paralysis in context of being separated far from family, friends with means to assist, and without sufficient means to survive on any front. No perceivable means of providing for myself on any front, in context of those particular circumstances. No means.

He allowed me to come to the end of myself, that way. Being completely incapacitated on all the fronts which were considered my means of survival-against-all-odds, in as far as I could conceive of possibilities. Just to reach a point of conceding that God's means were superior to my own and that He could and would make ways where there were none. And He did. And over the subsequent few months, and now the subsequent two years even, He completely changed my heart and my life. Increasingly.

So, to see family members struggling desperately is heart-wrenching all the more, in context of recalling my own experience of coming to the end of myself and the beginning of total surrender to Christ (still increasing). My love for them has to be great enough to direct them to Christ for solace, except as He enable me to intervene more directly than prayerful conversations and prayer and fasting, apart.

I have to love Christ enough to trust Him with them, beyond all appearances. Knowing He's good. Knowing He's sovereign. And knowing He answers prayer. And it's His will to save. He paid a high price to be in position to do so.

I have to love Him enough to submit to His will for them. And love them enough to be willing to speak truth in love and do the Lord's will, besides.

It is so difficult, the struggle against self on this front. Especially knowing there are so many fronts on which attack from the enemy could be mounted as attempt to undermine devotion to Christ, in terms of seeking His will prior to acting and not acting unless He expressly empowers to do so. Such attack has already come, twice. But I defer to Christ.

And, honestly, on this front I count it a serious relief to be incapacitated, still, except for the strength given by Christ on a moment-to-moment basis. Being unable to function apart from ongoing dependence upon Him, conscious and continual, means that there's even inability to act apart from Him in many ways.

One such instance was recently proven in terms of attempting to take part in an activity which wasn't prayerfully considered, but instead was undertaken with personal intent--pain which otherwise is incapacitating, except that He shield, came full on so strongly as to make walking difficult. This, not as some sort of "punishment," but just part of the experience of living...which, being near to Him and greatly conscious of His presence prevents awareness of, to a very large, very real degree.

Acting consciously, intentionally in blatant opposition to His will notably makes my heart grow cold to Him, though. And simultaneously, in acting in known opposition to Him, I turn away from His presence...and am not as fully conscious of His peace. So, the things which otherwise plague?...become prominent, again, for having been allowed free entry.

Not sure the way that's explained makes very clear sense, but it's all spiritual-type stuff, anyway, so the carnal mind isn't apt to well comprehend what the Spirit isn't sought regarding.

Just, suffice it to say--I have two very real and constant options: Christ or death.
If I turn from Him, concertedly...the other is waiting with bated breath for another opportunity to attempt to strike. Turning from Him would be death.

So, that makes the choice a lot simpler, honestly...in terms of even the pain of being rejected by friends, family, and all and sundry--I can experience peace, love, and joy in Christ, and He is willing to help them in ways I never could so long as I walk in righteousness and seek Him and beseech that He move on their behalf...or...I can do what the carnal mind considers reasonable and either die by my own hand (the most likely, given prior tendency to listen to those particular lies when not shielded by Christ's Spirit) or otherwise, in short order (thus effecting no good for either others or myself).

Not much need to deliberate, on that front.

Thing is, though, my "dilemma," in terms of that choice...is actually the very same one which everyone is in, constantly. Only difference being that the Lord has allowed me to see how dire and drastic is the situation, per having allowed me to taste death so many times and yet be stalked by it, even now.

We're all dependent upon Him. Completely. For every breath.

Things have been becoming concertedly more intense lately, is all. It seems like brethren internationally are being accosted by all manner of attempted chaos and death, at an increasing level. Even while, simultaneously, the Lord has been answering prayers with a rapidity and intensity which apparently had long been unheard of (at least in western society, perhaps?).

And in the midst, it's next week a tower to perhaps the oldest recorded idol in the Bible is being erected in Times Square and Trafalgar Square, April 19. With intent to erect something along the lines of 1,000 such "monuments" internationally, in the coming years.

Absolute madness. So, I'm praying still for mercy...individually and collectively. He won't be mocked. Yet it awaits to be seen what further curses would be unleashed on the land by such blatant rebellion. ...which, hopefully, the things won't go. Hopefully, something...mercifully...will prevent them being placed.

...so much for a short note--there are so many things going on.

Jesus, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
Dear God, please have mercy.