Loosely considering fear of the Lord

The Lord is so good, so merciful. Though the nations rage against Him, He is long-suffering in His patience, awaiting a day yet to come for judgment. Even as our sins destroy us, finding us out along the course, then yet still...His judgment awaits a final day.

In the meantime, we are so blessed to be able to come to Him for mercy. He is abundantly merciful, not desiring any to perish into wrath. Preferring that all would repent, turn from evil.

Turn to Him.

Yet, again and again, we refuse.

I see it all around me--even echoes of my own heart, my own derision, my own despising of God, prior to repentance. Mockery, open scoffing. Deriding even the open acknowledgment of His preeminent existence. Mere fact of His existence innately confers preeminence, is the point. And apart from a willingness to accept, acknowledge, and submit to what that implies, individually...we remain opposed to Him, inherently.

The beginning of knowledge and of wisdom is fear of God.

I've been pondering that for two years now, more or less, blatantly. What does it mean to fear Him, first off? And why is that the hinge upon which even knowledge rests?

Because that's not a small thing, in any way. Especially if you place any stock in the worth of knowledge or wisdom. Let alone considering understanding a thing worth seeking, at this point--it's implicitly impossible to attain unto understanding without knowledge.

So, why fear of God, as the beginning of knowledge?

And, as goes along that line, then...if fear of God is not present, then what is the actual consistency of whatsoever else arises to yet purport to be knowledge?

Or, rather, if a body of what is considered established matters of understanding exists--presenting as soundly derived, as founded upon truths which constitute known...or established...series of precepts...

...if such "knowledge" exists and yet denies or attempts to undermine the existence of God...

...but "fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge"...

...then there's an inconsistency in what's being claimed.

One or the other is not true.

Either knowledge doesn't require fear of the Lord, in which case Scripture is invalid.
Or the things which attempt to decry and denounce and undermine the existence of God are fundamentally flawed to such extent as to not be knowledge.

Those are the options. Or, they're the only ones I see.

And I'm continuing to pray about that, especially give that this latter which purports to be knowledge...constitutes the all of what society is founded upon, at least in the western world. Even as the western world has done it's very best to attempt to spread these ideologies to all nations, under the banner of "the betterment of mankind." Our salvation, really, is the banner which is flown.

This is a really serious thing. Which is why I'm not being even more direct than is given, at this juncture.

Thing is, too though...like Paul told the Corinthians...if your conscience doesn't trouble you to dine on meats sacrificed to idols, as knowing there's not inherent power in such an idol...

...then it's not sin, to you. Liberty in Christ, there.

But there may, alternately, be some who would find it sin.
I struggled with that for a while, last year. And it's still something that has to be surrendered to the Lord pretty regularly--certain things going on are just patently absurd, in terms of how blindly ascribed to are certain ideologies, despite innate shortsightedness.

The Lord has to keep me in check on that count. I get puffed up real quick, in terms of that sort of stuff--seeing something and being confounded by some blatant absurdity which is apparently entirely unrecognized, largely. But except for Christ giving me eyes to see, I'd be every bit as blind. And am still every bit as blind as He has yet allowed me to remain, on I have no idea how many counts.

So, I trust Him to keep me from erring too grievously in any given direction. He'll keep me balanced. He has been. He will.

Even though for the past many months His voice has been beyond my hearing. His peace guides, nonetheless. Prayerfully sought. Prayerfully depended upon. Even as Scripture is a constant, necessary recalibration on all points, unto further, more precise calibration entirely unto Him, moreover.

There are so many things, though.

And I'm so flawed. Except that He keeps me constantly in check, constantly dependent upon Him...I'd be utterly lost, in less than an hour (if even that long).

It's both humbling and slightly depressing to think on (the latter, to the extent that self-interest and desire for self-reliance yet awaits deliverance). But I'm His, period.

And that's a good place to be.

Bought with a price.

Still praying about how much more of my "stuff" needs to go, at this juncture. I have a guitar and amp which is unused and which likely won't be. I sing, when opportunity permits--instrumentality which doesn't require strings, though, so much less costly to keep. Though the possibility that someday there may be sufficient time and a proper space to both sing and play praises has been prayerfully restraining from casting off the guitar.

And there are some other things, too. To unload.

It's all the Lord's anyway. Purchasing me with His blood, delivering me from slavery to sin, delivering me into life in Him...also entailed delivering me from being owned by the worldly things which so easily are accumulated. It's all the Lord's, regardless. The earth and everything in it.

One of these days, it's not entirely unlikely I'll become mobile. More a sojourner than even has been the case, thus far in my life. But it's on Jesus's time, not mine.

And I have no idea what all He'll have me do in the meantime, regardless. Or even whether that may ever become a "thing." It may be another of the sort of "trials" wherein it's necessary to surrender to any possibilities, accepting any and all which He might ask, although He doesn't then require an immediate endeavor to follow-up the surrender.

Surrender to Him frees us, though.

From so many things.

Our greatest freedom seems to be found in the deepest humility before God. Knowing Him...truly knowing Him for who He is...

...puts everything else in context of truth. Casts everything else into its proper alignment.

Knowing Him also means sometimes being absolutely terror-stricken at the truth of His power, of His prerogative, of His absolute holiness.

He is totally unlike any thing or person. Totally. Incomprehensibly. He simply is who He is, and no comparison is sufficiently apt to give any idea of what that means, except to experience Him for oneself.

To be in the presence of such absolute purity and righteousness. Such holy goodness. Such abject love.

Put to shame and makes a mockery of even our most seemingly pristine ideals. Reveals them as utterly decrepit, totally disgusting, and absolutely worthless.

And to see that, to really see it, to really experience the truth of it...is to realize we are worthy of absolute disintegration. We deserve to be completely eradicated from His presence, just in order for His worth and glory not to be even casually, distantly besmirched as by even the fact of our existence.

Further, the truth of the matter is that He could easily eradicate us. Easily cleanse the universe of our blight. Easily. With but a word, and it would be done. He could just as easily condemn every last one of us to abject misery, all the days of our lives. And He would be justified in doing so, moreover. Yet, even then, the retribution due us for having acted against Him wouldn't even barely have been approached.

So grievous is our turning from Him that our redemption was bought by His coming, incarnate, to serve as blood sacrifice for our cleansing, our restoration unto a right relation with Him.

When He could have far more easily, in a sense, just have eradicated us and created another race incapable of acting against Him.

But He didn't. He loves us.
He loves us enough to have died for us.

To have suffered terribly, in the flesh.
And to endure the grief we incite, spiritually.

He is long-suffering toward us.

When He could just as easily crush us, completely.

There's dire cost for turning against Him, though. And it will be paid. Whether through Christ, or if we refuse to submit in the here and now...then we will each be individually responsible.

Either way, we will submit to Him. He is capable of ensuring that comes to pass.
And He will do it.

Arguments regarding free will so easily and often completely ignore that free will exists only within the bounds of what He sovereignly allows. Even allowing us to destroy ourselves, in so many ways, but we'll still have to answer for what we've done.

Each and every one of us. Even for those who know Him.
We who are His will still have to account for our even our every word.

That's a terrifying thought, knowing the price He paid for my salvation. Even as there's comfort, knowing the price He paid for my salvation.