Tuesday, February 10, 2015

A dream of life.

Dreams, sometimes.

This morning, early. Third-person perspective through a good portion of the dream. The general schematic was in terms of a video or computer game, where "two players" began a discussion of the creation of my character. One of these two persisted as an implied presence, being the one who originally conceived the idea of creating, then presented the idea to the one whose voice was literally heard. Neither one were actually there, so to speak. Or, rather, they were "there," just not visibly present. They collaborated in deciding upon creation, then the one whose voice was overheard consistently reinforced their decisions aloud, as the creative force "within the game" would then manifest in accord with whatsoever the decision was--always manifesting details according to the principles and outlines spoken aloud, then...agreeing by bringing such things into being.

So, my creation was a three-part process: The "unheard voice" which preceded all conceived of me, then the voice (who ended up being "a character in the game," too, although I never directly saw him)  discussed aspects of my character with the unheard consciousness--determining specific needs, specific endowments, specific provisions, specific developments--and then the invisible, manifest power within the game enacted all things according to specified design. All three parts acted in one accord--aligned as one, yet still distinct...the invisible, unbound consciousness (conceived the ideas for creation--ideas of being, of need, of endowment); the voice of the one who directed creative power (himself embodying a "character" in the game, he further expressed given ideas as viable concepts per spoken assent), and the creative power which enacted all (manifested those spoken concepts into visible expressions of such an accord).

It really was as though the one whose voice I heard... ...as though his was a similar "manifestation" in the game, while the one who conceived of my creation as a character was actually his overarching consciousness--that part of his "being" which was ever unconstrained by the character he took on as otherwise manifest inherently within the strictures of the "game world." And the creative force was yet them both--the consciousness of him, as unbound by the strictures of the game world, and of his understanding and authority as manifest itself also in the game world. ...like...a coder, the manifest character he created for himself to embody within the encoded realm, and the code itself (as ever read and written and revised again and again...only the power, the "code" was conscious in and of itself, too--it willingly enacted what was given as to do).

So, it was ever the same person, though, just... ...less to different degrees bound by the confines of the "game" in which the voice, the consciousness, the manifest power partook a role.

The creative power which manifested the parts of my creation was, effectively, that same one...yet in just the same way as the others, still distinctly individual. Because it was an unseen force evident in all, and always operating according to the particular designs and principles and orders as decided by that unbound consciousness which begat the process (operating according to its own nature)...yet conscious of the process, over course of enacting whatsoever was deemed necessary, it further bridged gaps and changed things even without the other parts having to openly direct, at times, just as according to the same standards and principles inherent of all the person it in part comprised.

I watched the process of my own creation, overhearing portions of their discussion. "With" them, in a sense, for having been contrived as a creation...thus, able to observe in part. But, still, not in any way active. Not until after having been created and "set free" or "set loose" to act my part in the realm.
To proceed according to my endowments.

I heard them discussing what I would need, in order to be able to operate according to particular standards by which my character would generally proceed. I listened to them decide to endow with particular talents, observed as particular accommodations were made as to assist in my character's progress. I heard the care with which planning took place. Knowing that my character would have its own particular role to play, and hearing how they conceived of ensuring all necessities for progress and provision would ever and always be in place.

Seeing the creative force manifest the accoutrements of personality and of "inventory" as described by the creative character(s).

And after they'd gotten to a point of satisfaction, regarding the completion of my character, according to their will for it and according to designation of particular features to shape and form and endow development according to their(his) will for my character.. ..I began to come to consciousness as the character so endowed, endued, and designed. Operating according to the principles which comprised my character, interacting according to the traits which were endued...progressing according to my designated purpose. Increasingly becoming aware of myself in terms of my creator's role in my being--this, according to their design also.

A few further points of note, in the dream...

...I had such a strong sense of the creators' love, all along the course of their creation of me. The care which was taken, in every detail--from the most grandiose and overarching (what will she aspire to, where will she live, where will she tend to go, what job/s will she have), to the most minute and mundane (what color is her hair, what style clothing will she prefer, what will be her favorite color)--just bespoke a depth of love and vastness of concern for my well-being which was absolutely incomprehensible.

One point which was made, in particular, was of the matter of my provision. In the dream, there was provision made for my character in terms of a husband who provided all things necessary to comfort, convenience, and emotional/mental support. Only, he was wholly absent. He was never seen. Merely, his existence and his presence were detectable per the course of provisions allotted and per the overarching implication of his existence. And I loved him, explicitly.

A day came, though...past the point when the dream had gone from third-person to first-person perspective, in terms of my "character" when my "in-game home" was assaulted by someone who was perceived as intending dire personal harm.

And I remember the desperation of thinking, "If only my husband were home, they would never have dared to attempt this!" as I fled through the house, seeking shelter, seeking out some means of self-protection, seeking out some type of weaponry with which to defend myself. I "remembered" in the dream that there was one room in particular, in the house, which the creators used as a point of contact between their realm and mine, as to most generally manifest deemed necessities. Fled to the door, found access restricted by a locking mechanism tied into a digital alarm panel with a series of buttons, numeric and code.

Looking at the panel in desperation, I thought of the one who had spoken so lovingly and pressed two buttons, only to find the mechanism and lock thereby disabled. Fleeing into the room, closing the door behind, I sought to speak with him who had created...begging for assistance, begging for deliverance, begging for help.

As he began to respond, gently expressing such tender concern for my anxiety while reassuring me that nothing could or would harm me, I could hear the invaders knocking around outside the door. They gained entry, but immediately were changed.

From heartless, mindless savages bent on my destruction, then to compassionate, supportive attendants intent upon comforting and assuaging fear.

In the dream, I was speechless and incredulous. Being comforted by those very ones who had so sought my destruction. All the while, still listening to the silence on the other end of the line which I'd used to contact the one who had designed and created me, watching things completely transformed before my very eyes...knowing...knowing it was according to his design, according to his further machinations.

When the two would-be attackers left, I remained in the room, intent on continuing conversation with the one who had designed me, anticipated and provided so amply for my every need, and even gladly saved me from certain destruction. Furthermore, he seemed entirely pleased with my intent to remain in dialogue.

Continuing to discuss all the things...all the ways and places and people and experiences and material provisions he'd ordained for my life, for enduing me with the skills, knowledge, and understanding as to shape and form my character...even culminating in bringing me to a point of desperately seeking him, knowing he was my only hope..

...then, it occurred to me, in the dream...he had left the husband-figure implied, according to the standards of the game. In actuality, he had designed that particular role in my life for himself. Though, again--not according to the general standards of the game, in that there wasn't intended or possible to ever be a direct encounter. Because, oddly so it seemed, even as the one with the voice did have a physical embodiment, himself, in the game... ...it wasn't for such a purpose, as so limited.

I was, in part, devastated to find that there'd never be a point of direct meeting, over course of the entirety of my role in the game, itself. To ever be distant, only to talk by proxy of the manifest power to do so, within the game?

And, further, realizing the role of "husband" wasn't in any capacity in accord with what's generally portrayed according to the standards of the game.. ..was, in part, chastisement of my own nature within the game. I wanted something directly to be experienced, something directly to be grasped, something on terms of my own nature. When what he was offering actually superseded all those things, entirely, in a way which was so far superior as to be incomparable.

Yes, there was to be no giving in to baser urges, no accommodation of flighty temptations, nor any indulgence of such limited devotions as are inherent of the otherwise fulfilling and potentially uplifting relationships between those who are yet part of the game, together. None of those things. But only because it wasn't necessary, and would prove to be more of a distraction to me than anything else might. Because his nature wasn't the same as mine, and in order to become more like him, that aspect of my nature was best abandoned, as well.

He was, in the dream...more of an overseer, is how he put it, per implication. And although he assured me that someday I would in truth be with him, I was still entirely reminded that it would no longer be in any way about any of the concepts which so dominated according to the schematics of the "game."

Such joy, though. Such peace, in conversing even so distantly as was afforded. Such hope.

Even in knowing that, for all intents and purposes, my life was forever changed by the experience of seeing him work directly and refraining from forgetting the experience.. ..then, still, the hope of knowing I could ever continue conversation, and retain the hope of one day sitting at his feet, in truth as well as essence..

...as I sat, awestruck and reveling in the wonder of the joy of even such remote (yet manifest) presence as was afforded per direct conversation, still experiencing an internal battle (background) lightly continued over the concept of one who would never be present in the way which others are, yet who would always, always, always be there... ..always providing in ways which I couldn't even be cognizant of the necessity of so requiring..
..and providing in ways which altered the very nature of the involved matters, transforming them from what they were. In essence, rewriting the code of the game as it progressed, as a means of provision and of assistance. Which assists not only me, but also those transformed... ...as I sat, still, in the dream.. ..reveling in his words and the implications..

I awoke into continued solemn, prayerful contemplation. And praise. A new song, again.

Joel 2
32And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the LORD shall be delivered: for in mount Zion and in Jerusalem shall be deliverance, as the LORD hath said, and in the remnant whom the LORD shall call.

Galatians 3
26For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. 27For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

Hosea 2
14Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.
15And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.
16And it shall be at that day, saith the LORD, that thou shalt call me Ishi; and shalt call me no more Baali.
17For I will take away the names of Baalim out of her mouth, and they shall no more be remembered by their name.
18And in that day will I make a covenant for them with the beasts of the field, and with the fowls of heaven, and with the creeping things of the ground: and I will break the bow and the sword and the battle out of the earth, and will make them to lie down safely.
19And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies.
20I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.
21And it shall come to pass in that day, I will hear, saith the LORD, I will hear the heavens, and they shall hear the earth;
22And the earth shall hear the corn, and the wine, and the oil; and they shall hear Jezreel.
23And I will sow her unto me in the earth; and I will have mercy upon her that had not obtained mercy; and I will say to them which were not my people, Thou art my people; and they shall say, Thou art my God.

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