Praise and Pleas

 Well, then. What can I do but fall at His feet, in praise? Though, ever I had ought...

He will keep me from idolatry. He will keep me from undue worship. He, who bought my heart and soul out from the sin I once relished, in abject hostility to His absolute perfections and righteous law. 

Jesus is enough. He is ever beyond any wildest imaginings’ wonders, of perfection and joy and gracious goodness. Words are insufficient to approach His majesty, though. 

I have and will continue to plead with Him for aid, knowing my own absolute incapability of maintaining a right heart toward Him. This (of myself) I loathe and grieve and am distressed by--how worthy is He of all worship and honor and love and trust and obedience? And, foolish as I often am, I give room to fears and doubts and concerns for tomorrow. 

My Dear Father knows my needs. 

Far better than I. 

He will keep me, even in joy. He will preserve my soul, even in delight. Because there is none which finds its fount elsewhere than from and in and of Him. And so, that must and will remain central--not by my own strength of persistence, necessarily (yet, as granted grace to uphold)...but in deferential reverence to the need for His tender, constant ministrations in capturing my gaze. 

The past few weeks, He has brought so much to the fore--in need of tending and surrender. There is an ongoing, peculiar need to count the cost. I am grateful He trains my hands for battle, that I might honor Him and love well those He places me near. I will fight--ever by submitting to the One who has overcome. As undertaken even by His grace. 

He has humbled me and will continue to do so. For that, I am deeply grateful. We each need as much, ongoing. The extents still of pride's noxious influence are still remaining discovery--I've seen enough of His ongoing work to know that need. Until the final day of absolute deliverance, whether He comes here or brings me into His presence, there. Fully delivered from all selfish desires and designs and intentions and inclinations--finally, gladly and wholly given to Him. 

So, I submit to Him in this. I have been asking Him if it is His will to give me as wife, and frankly until the deed is done I have been made quite aware that there is need still to wait upon Him. In preparation, no matter what the case, of ever waiting upon Him for all my days. 

To love Him is one matter, though. Central. Any other loves must reflect Him and direct to Him, or are not of love (and I'll have none of it, by His gracious delivering providential intercessions--I have trusted Him explicitly to guard me, even now, on that count). I would rather give my life to serving in solitude and bear His sweet fellowship solitarily amongst mankind than undertake to unite with anyone who would distract from Him Whom my Soul Loves Best. 

Oh, I long to speak of Him! 

Whatever comes or goes, Christ is always and ever mine...because He has bought me and won me, all in all. So graciously. 

Dearest Lord, I cannot praise You well. I have faltering words, which do as much to muddle as to elucidate, and though...how I long to honor You. I yearn to worship You in all this. And whatever comes. You have borne with me, so gently and constantly, with Your ever-present ministrations--by Your Spirit, through Your Word. Oh, how I love You, and long to know You ever better. 

I want just to walk more closely with You. Whatever is not of You, I can only trust that You will remove. 

And Dear Father, You are my guard and guide. You teach me and You have given me sight. I need Your pruning so much, still, and though the pain at times is so fearful to me...I yield myself wholly to You in this. You know what is good, Father. Let there be nothing in my heart which would be set aside, please. I can only ask Your aid in this, since my own heart is so obscure even to me. Please aid us, Dear Father. Let Your will be done, none other. Your will is so good. To know You and understand You, this is the sum of my desires though I am so faltering. 

Please aid us, Father. We have nothing except to wait upon You, trusting You will guide and provide. 

And of those matters which are beyond my sight even to know to ask, I commit to You knowing You know all and know best. Father, I will trust Your guidance in all this. Keep us, as such, as well, Father. In whatever ways there are tendencies or inclinations to stray in heart, thought, and deed--please have mercy on us, Dear Lord. We are at Your mercy, wholly. Please keep us cognizant of our need, by whatever means You know are best. 

Whatever the cost, Lord. This has been my cry (thought sometimes so confused) since You gave light. Even so, in all this. You have presented me with the realities, as go the call. Even as You have presented with the reality that even so--whatever You ordain to come--You will work Your works in us. 

Whatever the cost, Christ has paid. And ever let Him be my delight and joy. Father, keep us in the way which is True. We need You. Please keep our eyes and hearts ever fixed on Him Whom our Souls Love Best. 

Lord, I love you. Foremost and all in all. Keep me, draw me ever nearer. And from such and only place as that, then ever, please let me love and serve him well. Do what work is needful, that my heart will ever be true to You and to him. Please purify my heart, in all this. I entrust all to You, on all sides.