I don't know why it's always been such a big ordeal for me, to openly proclaim Jesus is Lord.
It's absolutely ridiculous. Of all the many things I've ever proclaimed belief in, no matter how asinine or absurd...or at times, completely dangerous...
...to openly claim Jesus is one thing which should bring absolutely no anxiety.
I'm only beginning to realize why it does. Funny thing--realizing Truth...it changes everything. Absolutely everything. Makes a person realize just how deplorable they are. How utterly horrible. And how atrocious their acts and words have been.
Anything which doesn't benefit does degrade a person. From the most seemingly innocuous conversation, to the most seemingly horrific act against society.
James 1:15-16 AMP
Then the evil desire, when it has conceived,
gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death.
Do not be misled, my beloved brethren
However, sharing the Gospel isn't supposed to be. Knowledge is power.
How can a harvest yet yield, lest seeds are planted? And for each of us, there's a different round of obstacles set in our way to attempt to alter course away from reaching out to others with Truth--the rulers of this world have a vested interest in preventing the sharing of the Gospel.
Which I'm still coming to understand, really. It's all so very strange.
Two things which have kept leaping to my attention lately:
1. Baptism in the Holy Spirit was intended to be received prior to witnessing to others, that the Spirit might work fully empower the witness to reach others.
John 16:8-14
However, I am telling you nothing but the truth when I say it is profitable (good, expedient, advantageous) for you that I go away. Because if I do not go away, the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Advocate, Intercessor, Strengthener, Standby) will not come to you [into close fellowship with you]; but if I go away, I will send Him to you [to be in close fellowship with you].
And when He comes, He will convict and convince the world and bring demonstration to it about sin and about righteousness (uprightness of heart and right standing with God) and about judgment:
About sin, because they do not believe in Me [trust in, rely on, and adhere to Me];
About righteousness (uprightness of heart and right standing with God), because I go to My Father, and you will see Me no longer;
About judgment, because the ruler (evil genius, prince) of this world [Satan] is judged and condemned and sentence already is passed upon him.
I have still many things to say to you, but you are not able to bear them or to take them upon you or to grasp them now.
But when He, the Spirit of Truth (the Truth- giving Spirit) comes, He will guide you into all the Truth (the whole, full Truth). For He will not speak His own message [on His own authority]; but He will tell whatever He hears [from the Father; He will give the message that has been given to Him], and He will announce and declare to you the things that are to come [that will happen in the future].
He will honor and glorify Me, because He will take of (receive, draw upon) what is Mine and will reveal (declare, disclose, transmit) it to you
1 Corinthians 2:10-14
Yet to us God has unveiled and revealed them by and through His Spirit, for the [Holy] Spirit searches diligently, exploring and examining everything, even sounding the profound and bottomless things of God [the divine counsels and things hidden and beyond man’s scrutiny].
For what person perceives (knows and understands) what passes through a man’s thoughts except the man’s own spirit within him? Just so no one discerns (comes to know and comprehend) the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.
Now we have not received the spirit [that belongs to] the world, but the [Holy] Spirit Who is from God, [given to us] that we might realize and comprehend and appreciate the gifts [of divine favor and blessing so freely and lavishly] bestowed on us by God.
And we are setting these truths forth in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the [Holy] Spirit, combining and interpreting spiritual truths with spiritual language [to those who possess the Holy Spirit].
But the natural, nonspiritual man does not accept or welcome or admit into his heart the gifts and teachings and revelations of the Spirit of God, for they are folly (meaningless nonsense) to him; and he is incapable of knowing them [of progressively recognizing, understanding, and becoming better acquainted with them] because they are spiritually discerned and estimated and appreciated
1 John 4:10-14
In this is love:not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation (the atoning sacrifice) for our sins.
Beloved, if God loved us so [very much], we also ought to love one another.
No man has at any time [yet] seen God. But if we love one another, God abides (lives and remains) in us and His love (that love which is essentially His) is brought to completion (to its full maturity, runs its full course, is perfected) in us!
By this we come to know (perceive, recognize, and understand) that we abide (live and remain) in Him and He in us:because He has given (imparted) to us of His [Holy] Spirit.
And [besides] we ourselves have seen (have deliberately and steadfastly contemplated) and bear witness that the Father has sent the Son [as the] Savior of the world
...so, yeah. Only by the guidance of the Holy Spirit can anyone know Truth of spiritual matters. Only through the leading of the Holy Spirit, then, can anyone seek to reveal Truth to others. Because it's a spiritual thing. It doesn't come through understanding.
To all men is given a measure of faith, though...
So, all are equipped to believe. And by believing, to know Truth.
To know Jesus, in other words.
The other thing that keeps coming to mind:
2. Of all the many shameful things I've done, of all the many horrible things I've taken part in, of all the idiocy I'd reveled in...Jesus made it so that I could lay it down. He took it upon Himself. It's not mine, any longer. Making amends is something that has been necessary, over certain things, and will continue to be. In as much as is ever possible, to make peace and atone. But I can't be ashamed of the things He's done for me.
More to His glory, for being able to take such a wretch and yield benefit to the Kingdom of God...but it's not my doing, at all.
Knowing how terrible I've been, knowing the sacrifice made to atone for my wretchedness, and realizing how little I deserved such grace...makes it all the more precious and gives all the more reason to refrain from adding any further to the atrocities I'd perpetuated.
Every little thing did add to that burden, and I don't want to do that any longer. Why would I knowingly hurt someone I love? And why would I reject such love, given that my whole life has been yearning for love? Seriously.
Why would I be ashamed of someone who loves me so much as to die for me? Seriously.
I know there are a lot of folks who don't believe there's any truth to the whole story. But, again--it's only by the Spirit of God that spiritual truth can be realized, so in a society which worships "self" per such persuasions as intellectualism, science, and reason...?
Yeah, no.
Yeah, no.
Odd thing to me is...even amongst the pagans I've known, there's a weird refusal to even consider the divinity of Christ. Until recently, I wasn't aware of the story of the Way in the stars, despite having made an idol of astrology for a brief while.
Either way, the main thing is--I'm not questioning God, as to why things happened within the frame of time which they did, within the nation He chose.
Isaiah 55:4-9
Behold, I have appointed him (Him) [David, as a representative of the Messiah, or the Messiah Himself] to be a witness [one (One) who shall testify of salvation] to the nations, a prince (Prince) and commander (Commander) to the peoples.
Behold, you [Israel] shall call nations that you know not, and nations that do not know you shall run to you because of the Lord your God, and of the Holy One of Israel, for He has glorified you.
Seek, inquire for, and require the Lord while He may be found [claiming Him by necessity and by right]; call upon Him while He is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have love, pity, and mercy for him, and to our God, for He will multiply to him His abundant pardon.
FOR MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS, NEITHER ARE YOUR WAYS MY WAYS, SAYS THE LORD.
FOR AS THE HEAVENS ARE HIGHER THAN THE EARTH, SO ARE MY WAYS HIGHER THAN YOUR WAYS AND MY THOUGHTS THAN YOUR THOUGHTS
FOR MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS, NEITHER ARE YOUR WAYS MY WAYS, SAYS THE LORD.
FOR AS THE HEAVENS ARE HIGHER THAN THE EARTH, SO ARE MY WAYS HIGHER THAN YOUR WAYS AND MY THOUGHTS THAN YOUR THOUGHTS.
For as the rain and snow come down from the heavens, and return not there again, but water the earth and make it bring forth and sprout, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth out of My mouth:it shall not return to Me void [without producing any effect, useless], but it shall accomplish that which I please and purpose, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it
He holds all this. It's all His.
Lord, help us--that's the way anyone is going to learn.
Lord, help us--that's the way anyone is going to learn.
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