My flesh does not like the present trials, at all. Nor ever does it.
I have been so ill-tempered at times over the last few months, in the midst of such onslaught. The Lord has blessed me with far more than is even remotely manageable by any earthly means, so there is absolutely nothing except to submit to Him and plead continually, depending on His aid. There is no other help.
None, except what comes by His hand.
Ultimately.
After all, He turns the hearts of kings like water flowing through His hands. There is no resistance to Him, nor when He hardens or allows us further hardening of our own heart.
Even so, His will will be accomplished.
The need to testify has proven dire, in terms of one facet of failure continual for my part: there has been continued experience that He does inhabit the praise of His people, He delights in that sacrifice of praise, and of righteousness: to believe Him, to know Him, to take Him at His Word, and as such submit in humble obedience to the real need to wait upon His salvation and deliverance, come the storm or bleakest night or heartiest assault of the enemy.
There have been two things standing out, in the midst of countless many, these past couple months:
As a consequence of being enlightened to realize quite how immature we are, as peoples and societies (self-seeking, emotionally-charged, other-effacing behaviors and impulses--largely unchecked, moreover, and with avoidance of all forthrightness to avoid discomfort, selfishly--are fleshly, unbecoming, childish ways). God is the standard. And He is long-suffering. He is patient. He is kind. He has wrath upon injustice and unrighteousness, and forestalls hasty judgments always. He is reserving vengeance and punishment for the day allotted. Even so, in Christ Jesus, He has made a way for there to be reconciliation and forgiveness prior to the day that curtain falls.
He is not rash. He is not unrighteously self-seeking, to the detriment of others. He does not avoid difficult truths for the sake of saving face, nor for the sake of allowing false peace to be retained. He interjects what is right and guides and rebukes according to gracious, loving truth, and all kindness, in His perfect wisdom. And He disciplines instructively, correctively, effectively, those whom He loves. For our good and for His glory.
So to endure hostility and harsh treatments, being inclined and giving over to likewise matters at times, myself? This is instructive, corrective, and such an opportunity to grow in grace. Jesus, Himself, was despised and abused--even at times much prior to the final onslaught.
He did not revile as He was reviled. He endured, submitting to the Father's will--in love for Him and for us, He was not moved to grasp after His right to be treated well, He did not move to assert His pre-eminence when He was abased and disrespected (though, as God, He deserves all honor and prerogative as His rightful due), and He did not become embittered nor scornful at being harshly treated and wholly misunderstood by those who were even nearest Him (His family thought Him insane, if you look across the Gospels, and were coming to "collect Him," at one point in His ministry--even His disciples completely misunderstood and mischaracterized Him, His motives, and His intentions, ultimately refraining from even asking Him for clarification because of being stricken by the weight of how inscrutable was His way and thoughts, for them: they dared not ask Him for clarification, at a point).
How alone and unknown and despised was He who lived and died for the Father's glory and to secure our imputed righteousness, forgiveness, and justification.
So, who are we to take offense when mistreated? Who are we, to ultimately find fault in others, when it's our very hands and voices which mocked Him, through those of our progenitors--our kinfolk in Adam, of His day and age...crying "Crucify!," and even prior, seeking to maul Him with stones.
If I am more like the Pharisee, thinking that these ones are not mine own ilk, then how dire a position I'm in.
Rather, to love in the midst of it all. To be unmoved by petty emotion, but driven by love of God and others, to endure in charity even as with strength of conviction as to speak with gracious kindness unwavering words of truth (though reviled and accosted the more, for so doing).
Upon being led to repent and follow Him, that is--laying down my own stones.
That's the thing: there's that back and forth, battling the flesh. I find myself continually craving after a sense of equal treatment with others surrounding me, who are able to walk on even ground: Wanting to be treated well, thought well of, respected, and shown kindness. And when such things are withheld, there's a sense of affront, as though they are each my just desserts (rather than God's wrath and the shame which, otherwise, should actually be upon me for just such a matter as having erred against One so holy and right--let alone any others, even).
So, there's that. Summed: Being driven by emotion, perceiving all matters as imminent personal threat or of a nature which warrants a self-defensive stance (to reduce harm to self/emotional pain)...is not loving, nor exhibits trust in God, but is instead a very immature response to difficulties and uncertainties.
He knows our needs. Trust Him to fulfill.
That's all the time for now, here. May He bless you in the knowledge of Himself, of truth.
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