He is wonderful. He is risen.
He is Lord of all.
He is faithful. Jesus is so faithful. Hallelujah!
I fail Him and others countless times a day--choosing to do things which gratify myself rather than seeking to love (and thus honor) Him and others. Love does not seek it's own.
Walking that out goes against everything in me which is of the flesh and of worldly understanding: The mere thought of forsaking my own understanding (again and again) of the way things need to be: forsaking seeking self-preservation, forsaking seeking to justify and defend myself...forsaking seeking to navigate my way through this world...
...leaves my skin crawling, so to speak. And creates utter discomfort and indignation, even to consider. Because everything of worldly understanding which yet persists tries to overwhelm me with the lie that unless I seek my own way, according to my own understanding--doing what is right in my own eyes, according to what I "see" and "understand" of the world, life, others, and self--I will find myself bereft of all things needful and utterly downcast and trodden underfoot.
But that's just a lie.
God's word says that those who trust in Him will not be ashamed.
And that Christ is sufficient--whether enduring feast or famine.
And that those who wait upon the Lord will find their strength renewed.
And those who run to Him will find refuge, deliverance, wisdom, strength, and all things needful.
His word tells me I am to trust in Him with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding.
And that I am to walk by faith in Him--trusting Him, because I know of Him and His ways, to lead me. In paths of righteousness, even--for His name's sake, He leads us thusly.
His Word tells me that He knows my every need. And that I have only to ask, because He knows already. And that which is most needful is for me to seek first His kingdom and righteousness, that I may find Him and be filled.
He tells me that I am to purchase from Him food and drink, without money.
And seek Him for wisdom and to be clothed in righteousness. And also that He would refine my faith, which is more precious than gold.
He tells me that He has taken me up, and that those whom He has taken up He will carry. Even to the end of my days--to gray hairs and incapacitation of age.
Jesus tells me that it is more blessed to give than to receive.
And that I am to forgive. And plead reconciliation. And His Word lets me know that I am to bear with others in love. And, with great care, seek to bring back to truth those who have gone astray--to reprove and edify in truth, with love.
His Word tells me that, of all things, I am to be led of His Spirit. For His children do walk by His Spirit, and are no longer enslaved to sin and the flesh.
His Word tells me that I am to love Him with everything I am--above all things, He is to be my treasure all the days of my life. And that as He has given His life so that I may have life, giving me a heart of flesh so as to love Him...then, too, am I to give my life to Him. His Word tells me I am to walk as a living sacrifice unto Him. Loving Him and others. Seeking to do His will. The Father's will.
Even as my Savior did.
That although I may not understand so many things. And though I may despair to see a deeper glimpse of the wretched darkness of my own heart. Having thus a clearer portrait of quite how hopeless a cause it is to presume I could know even how to pursue good in my own strength, by my own understanding. Then, by His mercies still I am saved, day by day.
Resting in the finished work of my Lord and my God--Jesus Christ, God incarnate, God the Son. He came, He submitted unto death, He lay down His life, He suffered the wrath of God due me, He satisfied my debt of sin, becoming a curse for me...He entered death, that thusly entering He would overcome sin, death, and the grave. He overcame the world. He defeated death. And brought into subjection all the powers of this world. All of them. He arose. Praise God, He arose!
Death did not defeat Him. He arose. Life, incarnate. The Word of God, in the flesh. Jesus Christ arose from death--He left His grave.
His death is my death. He took it for me. That His life would be my life. By grace, believed.
So, I trust Him. He draws me back, again and again, from the brink of collapse and utter compromise. Ever to a pleading with Him to restore me, to restore feeling in my heart and love for Him and others. To restore sight, as to see and know truth. And asking Him for greater depths of each--so to glory in Him and rejoice in Him in the midst of a sea of loathing. Yet buttressed from within by His Spirit's yielding a steadfast remembrance of the truth of His sovereignty. Ever bringing to mind all that which He has said and of His faithfulness to me.
He is worth every moment of pain. He is worth every uncertainty endured. Knowing Christ is worth all and everything which could be asked.
And the truth of the matter is--even prior to submitting and surrendering to the truth of who Jesus Christ is, and of my need for His forgiveness and direction, there was only numbness, despair, desolation, pain, and ever-faltering moments of hollow resolve. Nothing which constituted my life's hope and direction, prior to submitting to the guidance and deserved wrath of God (meted through and resolved upon Christ, my God), had substance. It was all just so much "smoke and mirrors"--shifting sands under my feet, even as the tide of society's favor shifted from one purported foundation for security unto another. From family to fame to professional success--each to each, shifting so much as to indicate only falsity of hope (as made apparent yesterday by a couple blessed sisters' discussions of this latter concept).
They were so astute to note that in a world which has no ultimate standard, nothing is substantial: So, the only hope is seeking for a true, lasting standard by which to live.
His Words endure. His Word endures.
He reigns.
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